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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden

1000 replies

Dadfromthesea · 25/09/2023 15:33

This is making me seethe and chuckle in equal measure.

At the end of our garden are some big old fir trees, then the boundary fence. After that there’s a little stream, and if you kept going you’d find the fence of the people who live in the house behind (let’s call them Mr and Mrs Jones), then their back garden.

The Joneseseses have just bought a big seating unit thing and plonked it at the back end of their garden (the bit nearest us). It’s about 10ft from my boundary fence and a good 70ft from the back of my house - we’re lucky to have a big garden - and there’s the fir trees as well which make it a pretty thick barrier.

But they decided they want some privacy and put up a big canvass barrier. Fair enough, I don’t care.

Except…

They’ve tied it to our fir trees!

They’ve clambered over their own fence, slung a ladder (an actual LADDER) over the stream, scrambled up the bank, and cable tied the bloody thing to our trees! Without so much as a word!

They did it in the dead of night! Came down the other day to discover the bloody Shroud of Turin cable tied to my trees! The ladder was still there on the bank of the stream.

So obviously, being British and terrified of confrontation, I did the natural thing of not mentioning it to them but instead cutting the fucker down. It’s now in my garage.

And they’ve replaced it with another!! It arrived overnight this morning!

Just to be clear - I don’t care that they want to shield themselves from us. It’s a dark green thing so I can barely even see it. But I can see it, and I do care that they’ve gone on a bloody Navy SEAL Commando mission, twice, to my garden to put the bloody thing up!

Yes I could go and talk to them but a) I’ve never said a word to them before b) they might kill me and c) this is funnier.

But tell me I ANBU please.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
37
OliveWah · 26/09/2023 16:56

I've just been out in the car, and realised I was humming the theme tune from "The Poddington Peas". I hadn't even registered that that was what @Dadfromthesea's post about "at the end of the garden, among the birds and the bees" was referencing, and yet it managed to worm it's way into my psyche. Impressive mind-control skills, OP!

Dominoeffecter · 26/09/2023 16:57

Please cut this one off too

Moooooooooooooooooo · 26/09/2023 16:58

Totally invested in this thread now. Thanks!

AliceOlive · 26/09/2023 17:02

“Mum” 🤣🤣🤣

GreatGardenstuff · 26/09/2023 17:04

Chop it down and take the ladder too!

Cakeorchocolate · 26/09/2023 17:08

YA absolutely NBU.

I look forward to the next report of the latest erection being dismantled.

cuddlebear · 26/09/2023 17:08

I grew up watching Scooby Doo.

I wonder if you can order quicksand over the internet?

CaveMum · 26/09/2023 17:10

Is it a wooden ladder? Could you cut through some of the steps sufficiently that they stay in place but as soon as they put any weight on them they’ll break and end up having an unexpected dunking?

crimsonlake · 26/09/2023 17:18

Hilarious goings on.
Could you coat your trees in something that would stain their hands, or nail a sign saying 'keep off my trees'? I was going to suggest wrapping electric wire around them but best not.

ThinWomansBrain · 26/09/2023 17:29

can you pull up the poles and insert them in their furniture?

midlifecrash · 26/09/2023 17:32

DevonSeaSwimmer · 26/09/2023 16:36

We lived for a time in a very old house with a stream. Mostly it was a gentle flow but after heavy rain or with melting snow it turned into a raging torrent. It was quite hairy at those times as we had to drive through it to get to the house. We were usually ok but our visitors with cars closer to the ground could get marooned with us or they had to park on the other side and brave the rickety little wooden footbridge. The DC loved playing in it and sometimes building dams.

Perhaps the OP needs to build a dam to make his section deeper and more tricky for the Indiana-Joneses to get across? Or add in a quick method of pulling down the dam - like opening a floodgate - so they and their ladder would be washed away mid-crossing?

Or get some beavers.

Beavers! Beavers beavers BEAVERS!

And bears!

JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 26/09/2023 17:32

AliceOlive · 26/09/2023 17:02

“Mum” 🤣🤣🤣

Clearly shows that lazy journalists don't even read the threads they poach.

HappiestSleeping · 26/09/2023 17:35

This is fabulous. I thought I had CF neighbours who drive across my driveway because they are too lazy to use the steering wheel of their car. Your neighbours are putting mine to shame.

I think you should just keep removing them and stashing them in your garage. Eventually, your neighbours will have to knock, at which point you can say "oh, it was you! I wondered who the cheeky fuckers were"

Twazique · 26/09/2023 17:35

Could you buy the land with the stream?

There was a fabulous thread here once where the OP was struggling with people parking where they shouldn't so managed to buy and fence in the disputed area, was a really good, penguin bollardy, thread!

coffeestrongblacknosugar · 26/09/2023 17:46

I love a good CF thread, even more when it is amusingly written.

LadyRoughDiamond · 26/09/2023 17:48

I think you should be working this thread up into a programme idea for the BBC. They could easily get a six-part sitcom starring Jason Manford out of this.

donquixotedelamancha · 26/09/2023 17:52

I don't understand why the Daily Express are reporting on this. Is OP related to Princess Diana or have they finally branched out into other news?

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 26/09/2023 17:53

I have rechargeable wireless security cameras that have night vision and an optional siren and the ability to speak from your phone indoors via a speaker in the camera (like a ring doorbell).

They are from a company called Tapo.

I think you need to get some soo you can watch them and frighten the bejesus out of them by shouting boo or whispering creepy shit.

Of course you could also post the video to YouTube and become an internet sensation.

Pinkywoo · 26/09/2023 17:55

Coatscoatscoast · 26/09/2023 16:47

I have updated my improv diagram using latest interpretation of fence positioning. I may have got it right this time. I think they think the trees are in no man’s land and therefore fair game.

Sorry, still not right (if I've understood the OP correctly). It goes OP's garden, trees, wire fence, low wooden fence halfway down the sloping bank, stream, SF's fence, the sex patio seating area.

Spareus · 26/09/2023 17:57

I’m just here for the next instalment. So invested in this. Please @Dadfromthesea do the Googly eyes and wind chimes. And give serious thought to the motion sensitive water cannon.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 26/09/2023 18:01

ThinWomansBrain · 26/09/2023 17:29

can you pull up the poles and insert them in their furniture?

What, like staking a vampire through its heart?

Frazzledandfried · 26/09/2023 18:03

ThinWomansBrain · 26/09/2023 17:29

can you pull up the poles and insert them in their furniture?

Or rectums?! 🤣

Blarn · 26/09/2023 18:05

I suggest putting your own screen over the top of it, with two staring eyes. Just on the right side of threatening.

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