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AIBU?

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Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden

1000 replies

Dadfromthesea · 25/09/2023 15:33

This is making me seethe and chuckle in equal measure.

At the end of our garden are some big old fir trees, then the boundary fence. After that there’s a little stream, and if you kept going you’d find the fence of the people who live in the house behind (let’s call them Mr and Mrs Jones), then their back garden.

The Joneseseses have just bought a big seating unit thing and plonked it at the back end of their garden (the bit nearest us). It’s about 10ft from my boundary fence and a good 70ft from the back of my house - we’re lucky to have a big garden - and there’s the fir trees as well which make it a pretty thick barrier.

But they decided they want some privacy and put up a big canvass barrier. Fair enough, I don’t care.

Except…

They’ve tied it to our fir trees!

They’ve clambered over their own fence, slung a ladder (an actual LADDER) over the stream, scrambled up the bank, and cable tied the bloody thing to our trees! Without so much as a word!

They did it in the dead of night! Came down the other day to discover the bloody Shroud of Turin cable tied to my trees! The ladder was still there on the bank of the stream.

So obviously, being British and terrified of confrontation, I did the natural thing of not mentioning it to them but instead cutting the fucker down. It’s now in my garage.

And they’ve replaced it with another!! It arrived overnight this morning!

Just to be clear - I don’t care that they want to shield themselves from us. It’s a dark green thing so I can barely even see it. But I can see it, and I do care that they’ve gone on a bloody Navy SEAL Commando mission, twice, to my garden to put the bloody thing up!

Yes I could go and talk to them but a) I’ve never said a word to them before b) they might kill me and c) this is funnier.

But tell me I ANBU please.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
37
TicTacNicNak · 25/09/2023 16:03

I'd cut it down and then take the ladder and saw most of the way through the rungs on the underside and then place it back. Maybe set up a night camera to catch the shenanigans when they begin.

ShagratandGorbag4ever · 25/09/2023 16:03

Barbed wire is your friend.

PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 25/09/2023 16:05

Can you tie some bandages around the parts of the tree that were cable tied? Poor trees.

GasPanic · 25/09/2023 16:05

Do the trees overhang the boundary fence ? Are they cable tying it so it overhangs the boundary on their side of the fence or on yours ?

If it is all on your side of the boundary they are taking the piss. If they are hanging it off your trees so that it hangs down into their property it is less clear cut.

Not quite sure why someone would be nuts enough to do this. Maybe they are engaging in some business on the bench that would be better conducted in private. Can you actually see the bench from your house ? It seems like it would be unlikely ...

krustykittens · 25/09/2023 16:05

Dadfromthesea · 25/09/2023 15:59

I have also toyed with the idea of knocking on, coquettishly leaning against their front door, and seductively whispering ‘Your shroud is tied to my fir tree’ to Mr Jones.

Bwhahahahahaaaaaaa! PLEASE do this and get someone to film their reaction!

wineandmaltesershappyme · 25/09/2023 16:05

Keep cutting them down until they have the decency to either come and ask or attach a new one to their own bloody property.

OlizraWiteomQua · 25/09/2023 16:06

ShagratandGorbag4ever · 25/09/2023 16:03

Barbed wire is your friend.

No. If someone gets injured on your property on something that could reasonably be assumed to have been deployed with an intent to cause injury then you will be held liable, even if the person injured was trespassing.

Cowlover89 · 25/09/2023 16:07

YANBU

CitizenofMoronia · 25/09/2023 16:08

steal the ladder.

CitizenofMoronia · 25/09/2023 16:09

GasPanic · 25/09/2023 16:05

Do the trees overhang the boundary fence ? Are they cable tying it so it overhangs the boundary on their side of the fence or on yours ?

If it is all on your side of the boundary they are taking the piss. If they are hanging it off your trees so that it hangs down into their property it is less clear cut.

Not quite sure why someone would be nuts enough to do this. Maybe they are engaging in some business on the bench that would be better conducted in private. Can you actually see the bench from your house ? It seems like it would be unlikely ...

They are not allowed to hang things off the fence if its not theirs let alone the trees the other side of a fence AND a stream.

Dadfromthesea · 25/09/2023 16:12

Nothing’s overhanging their boundary. They have literally come from their land onto ours, clambered up a riverbank, reached over a fence and tied a big sheet to a couple of our trees. Twice.

Not gonna barbed wire it, like someone else suggested. I’m more amused than vengeful. Plus I’m a complete loser and would doubtless entwine myself in it and need to be surgically removed from its clutches.

But it is very strange behaviour. Maybe they are indeed Mafiosi discussing their murderous deeds. Tony Soprano often did stuff in his garden. It’s almost certainly that.

Which means I’ve nicked a gangster’s sheet.

Ah well. I’ve lived a good life. The mortgage gets paid off when I end up concreted into the new road.

OP posts:
BellaTheDarkOverlord · 25/09/2023 16:14

Remove the ladder by stealth in the night and replace with a dolls house sized ladder.

Lollypop701 · 25/09/2023 16:16

do those Motion censored water deterrents things work with batteries or do they have to be plugged in?

frustratednomad · 25/09/2023 16:17

This makes my entitled neighbours look like amateurs 😂

Fallingthroughclouds · 25/09/2023 16:19

Not sure if YABU or YANBU, but thanks for the chuckle.

ntmdino · 25/09/2023 16:19

Lollypop701 · 25/09/2023 16:16

do those Motion censored water deterrents things work with batteries or do they have to be plugged in?

USB C power banks can fix that.

In fact, I think a far more entertaining option would be to get on YouTube and look for guides on how to build automated Nerf gun defence systems.

Would be pointless without a good-quality camera with night vision, though.

lilyblue5 · 25/09/2023 16:19

Laughing hard at this, PLEASE keep us posted. The Jonesesesses sound bonkers.

CitizenofMoronia · 25/09/2023 16:20

id be tictoking this, youd go viral post links on the local curtain twitchers facebook

MissConductUS · 25/09/2023 16:20

Ah well. I’ve lived a good life. The mortgage gets paid off when I end up concreted into the new road.

Not if they don't find your body. The mortgage insurance will refuse to pay without a death certificate.

lilyblue5 · 25/09/2023 16:20

@ntmdino ohhhh or a movement activated sprinkler system? (Cat scarer thing?)

SauvignonBlanche · 25/09/2023 16:21

A solar powered sensor light attached to your fir tree would help. 😁

lilyblue5 · 25/09/2023 16:21

Oh I’ve just seen someone else suggested those - ignore me

MariePaperRoses · 25/09/2023 16:21

Cut through the middle of the last but one ladder wrung so that won't notice in the dark and fall off.

Wear gloves.

Clean saw.

Hankunamatata · 25/09/2023 16:22

Come on op we need a diagram

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