Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden

[Dadfromthesea]

This is making me seethe and chuckle in equal measure.

At the end of our garden are some big old fir trees, then the boundary fence. After that there’s a little stream, and if you kept going you’d find the fence of the people who live in the house behind (let’s call them Mr and Mrs Jones), then their back garden.

The Joneseseses have just bought a big seating unit thing and plonked it at the back end of their garden (the bit nearest us). It’s about 10ft from my boundary fence and a good 70ft from the back of my house - we’re lucky to have a big garden - and there’s the fir trees as well which make it a pretty thick barrier.

But they decided they want some privacy and put up a big canvass barrier. Fair enough, I don’t care.

Except…

They’ve tied it to our fir trees!

They’ve clambered over their own fence, slung a ladder (an actual LADDER) over the stream, scrambled up the bank, and cable tied the bloody thing to our trees! Without so much as a word!

They did it in the dead of night! Came down the other day to discover the bloody Shroud of Turin cable tied to my trees! The ladder was still there on the bank of the stream.

So obviously, being British and terrified of confrontation, I did the natural thing of not mentioning it to them but instead cutting the fucker down. It’s now in my garage.

And they’ve replaced it with another!! It arrived overnight this morning!

Just to be clear - I don’t care that they want to shield themselves from us. It’s a dark green thing so I can barely even see it. But I can see it, and I do care that they’ve gone on a bloody Navy SEAL Commando mission, twice, to my garden to put the bloody thing up!

Yes I could go and talk to them but a) I’ve never said a word to them before b) they might kill me and c) this is funnier.

But tell me I ANBU please.

Don't be dim. He is removing something unwanted that has been left on HIS property, potentially something that could damage his property. It's litter, basically. What would you do if a neighbour deliberately littered your garden? Would you bin it and go 'hmph!', or go round and politely beg them to stop?

It may be PA but then so is putting up constant barriers on his land without ever contacting him.

@Alondra If this is the reason you disbelieve this thread...

What made me chuckle about the OP story is that he took the canvas down and stored it in his garage. That canvas was attached to his fir tress by cable ties - the only thing he needed to do was to cut the ties and let the canvas fall in his neighbour property. Why would he retrieve a canvas not belonging to him with the work involved instead of doing the simplest thing?

The whole thing is a beautiful story with no basis of reality.

... you need to read it more carefully & pay attention to the diagrams. If he cut the ties & let the tarpaulin fall, it would be on his own property, as it was within his outer fence(s). Without checking the deeds, the likeliest set-up seems to be that the boundary is in the middle of the stream which runs, with its banks, between the two gardens. So the neighbour's actual garden is some distance away from the tarpaulin.

Just noticed @Squ1ggle told you the same thing.

True or not, this thread is great fun. Leave it be and let us have some much needed light relief. Don't block that light out with a shroud.

I apologised to a previous poster, confirming that the stream was in the OP boundaries. It still doesn't address why the OP preferred to go the passive-aggressive route instead of talking face to face with his neighbour when, by his writing, he is more than capable of having a chat with.

But then, he's British and doesn't like confrontation 😌

@Dadfromthesea do you have a literary agent?

If not, I think this thread should be dangled in front of one

Looking at the responses on here most people dont think its unreasonable.
Personally I dont either but some of us just need some encouragement to go tell them to stop. So rude.

*I apologised to a previous poster, confirming that the stream was in the OP boundaries. It still doesn't address why the OP preferred to go the passive-aggressive route instead of talking face to face with his neighbour when, by his writing, he is more than capable of having a chat with.

But then, he's British and doesn't like confrontation 😌*

What’s your experience with people who trespass on your property for their own edification? Mine is that no matter how direct you may be, they won’t see logic.

I’m no longer on speaking terms with one neighbor because she insisted that I was rude for expecting her to knock and ask rather than hanging out in my yard. I wish I had never discussed it with her at all.

OP in all seriousness please go round and make it clear to the neighbours that this is NOT their land, whether it belongs to you or is public land. I know of at least three land grabs, all on public land, where they tested the water and once nothing had been done about it fenced it in. I can easily see you losing access to the stream if this is left unchallenged.

Then get the murder shower curtain and put it up.

I just saw this on FB, @Dadfromthesea, and immediately thought of you!

I think it is a reasonable argument that someone willing to bridge a stream in the dead of the night in order to access someone else's property to erect a screen is not the sort of person who is likely to be easily reasoned with :)

That said actually talking to them you might find out whether or not they believe the deeds show something different in terms of ownership.

The fact that they did it by stealth maybe implies they understand they are doing something wrong - after all if they think they own the land/trees why not do it in normal daylight hours. Or maybe it implies they just like fiddling around with sheets and trees in the middle of the night because they don't have enough to do with their time.

That. Is. Genius.

Like honestly, who cares if there's something 'off' with it, we're hardly Scotland Yard

Having watched all of Law and Order, SVU, Criminal Minds and FBI, I am a fully qualified detective and profiler, @Watchingthegp, and I believe the OP implicitly. 😉😂

I'm convinced! I used to be a Wolef about 15 years ago on here and always recognize your name even though I've changed mine loads of times, big Wolefy howls to you! 😊

Haha did you hear the collective global gasp when you announced you were a.... man?!

Enjoyed every moment to the point of obsessive. I'm on the other side of the world.... You're alrrady global... Now publish that book.

Please don't be reasonable about this 😂 you are clearly a shoe-in for funniest post of the week so keep cutting the ***-er down!
Bravo!

😃🤣👍

Hahaha hahahaha! The eyes are brilliant! 🤣⭐️

God I'm going to be singing Poddington Peas for days now 😂

Yes! 🤣

Just wanted to say love the user name. The Turtle Moves.

just keep going it we are to politically correct now, and apart from which I think you are Brillant ! keep on posting you have made my week ….

Swordfish.

The significant owl hoots in the night