Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden

1000 replies

Dadfromthesea · 25/09/2023 15:33

This is making me seethe and chuckle in equal measure.

At the end of our garden are some big old fir trees, then the boundary fence. After that there’s a little stream, and if you kept going you’d find the fence of the people who live in the house behind (let’s call them Mr and Mrs Jones), then their back garden.

The Joneseseses have just bought a big seating unit thing and plonked it at the back end of their garden (the bit nearest us). It’s about 10ft from my boundary fence and a good 70ft from the back of my house - we’re lucky to have a big garden - and there’s the fir trees as well which make it a pretty thick barrier.

But they decided they want some privacy and put up a big canvass barrier. Fair enough, I don’t care.

Except…

They’ve tied it to our fir trees!

They’ve clambered over their own fence, slung a ladder (an actual LADDER) over the stream, scrambled up the bank, and cable tied the bloody thing to our trees! Without so much as a word!

They did it in the dead of night! Came down the other day to discover the bloody Shroud of Turin cable tied to my trees! The ladder was still there on the bank of the stream.

So obviously, being British and terrified of confrontation, I did the natural thing of not mentioning it to them but instead cutting the fucker down. It’s now in my garage.

And they’ve replaced it with another!! It arrived overnight this morning!

Just to be clear - I don’t care that they want to shield themselves from us. It’s a dark green thing so I can barely even see it. But I can see it, and I do care that they’ve gone on a bloody Navy SEAL Commando mission, twice, to my garden to put the bloody thing up!

Yes I could go and talk to them but a) I’ve never said a word to them before b) they might kill me and c) this is funnier.

But tell me I ANBU please.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
37
Dadfromthesea · 26/09/2023 16:04

Just a quick one (because I am working, and by that I don’t mean ‘on revenge’).

The frothing obscenity that is the Daily Express can do one.

OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 26/09/2023 16:04

heldinadream · 26/09/2023 13:01

@Dadfromthesea present for you, DIY noisy-fuck-off windchimes. (I just need to be on this thread it's magic! 😂)

OP, please do ten of these, attached to the branches of your fir trees where they have tied the sheets of doom.

But instead of lots of different cutlery, use only an assortment of knives.

LemonyTicket · 26/09/2023 16:10

I am so sorry about this, but fair to see these threads where people are incredibly cheeky are my favourites on Mumsnet. Reminds me of the Mexican house thief.

ohsuzannah · 26/09/2023 16:11

Thanks for making my day! ✂️ 😂

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 26/09/2023 16:12

I think you need to get a map of your exact boundary and put a solid fence there. Job done.

EnjoyingTheSilence · 26/09/2023 16:17

How many do you think they’ll put up before they get fed up?

WetWetBottomOnTheNightBus · 26/09/2023 16:21

I'm imagining a wind blaster and giant balls aimed at them when they are half way across the ladder.....

Also a recording cobbled together from anything Ray Winstone has acted in. Swearier the better 😁
@Dadfromthesea I find your style of writing very funny and hope shroudy fuckers get the message (in the most amusing ) one way or another

BucksOxonMum · 26/09/2023 16:24

This thread is like the forum pages of old! Brilliant stuff!

AffableApple · 26/09/2023 16:27

Just please be careful as the shrouds have been out at night, and therefore many spider willies will have been wiped on them.

ErrolTheDragon · 26/09/2023 16:28

Dadfromthesea · 26/09/2023 16:04

Just a quick one (because I am working, and by that I don’t mean ‘on revenge’).

The frothing obscenity that is the Daily Express can do one.

Otoh, it's perhaps a pity that presumably this example of their 'journalism' won't make it to the print edition - you could have delivered a copy to the I-Jseses

MrsMitford3 · 26/09/2023 16:29

frustratednomad · 26/09/2023 15:44

The Daily Express is reporting on this thread, maybe the Joneses will read it and get the message.

I have actually just tried to find it on the daily express website and can't-would anyone post a link?

Sadly invested...

Watchingthegp · 26/09/2023 16:32

Coatscoatscoast · 26/09/2023 13:18

I’m on some dull training, so have taken the time to mock up a diagram in order to try and work out what is happening here. Op does this look about right??

Love it!

Moonlightdust · 26/09/2023 16:36

Hilarious thread. I think they want to have a view of the stream from their new seating area but not the wire fence so have attempted to camouflage it. They have however been rather cheeky crossing to your land and touching your property!

DevonSeaSwimmer · 26/09/2023 16:36

We lived for a time in a very old house with a stream. Mostly it was a gentle flow but after heavy rain or with melting snow it turned into a raging torrent. It was quite hairy at those times as we had to drive through it to get to the house. We were usually ok but our visitors with cars closer to the ground could get marooned with us or they had to park on the other side and brave the rickety little wooden footbridge. The DC loved playing in it and sometimes building dams.

Perhaps the OP needs to build a dam to make his section deeper and more tricky for the Indiana-Joneses to get across? Or add in a quick method of pulling down the dam - like opening a floodgate - so they and their ladder would be washed away mid-crossing?

Or get some beavers.

CatherineCawoodsScarfv2 · 26/09/2023 16:39

Paging @MrsMitford3
Not recommended, but here is the D Express link.

DevonSeaSwimmer · 26/09/2023 16:41

MrsMitford3 · 26/09/2023 16:29

I have actually just tried to find it on the daily express website and can't-would anyone post a link?

Sadly invested...

I don't think the OP would welcome a link. I quote: The frothing obscenity that is the Daily Express can do one.

frustratednomad · 26/09/2023 16:42

@MrsMitford3 Just had a look and it seems to have disappeared, maybe one of the Joneses recognised themselves and got it pulled, watch out they will be on here next 😂

Widower2014 · 26/09/2023 16:45

Get one you have took down, paint 'WE CAN SEE YOU'. Then put it up on the front of their house

Barneysma2 · 26/09/2023 16:46

Have you ever watched Max and Paddy when they put that alarm in their car that shouts 'get back ya bastard or i'll break ya legs' if you touch their car. You need that alarm for your trees. he he 😄

Coatscoatscoast · 26/09/2023 16:47

I have updated my improv diagram using latest interpretation of fence positioning. I may have got it right this time. I think they think the trees are in no man’s land and therefore fair game.

Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden
MrsMitford3 · 26/09/2023 16:47

DevonSeaSwimmer · 26/09/2023 16:41

I don't think the OP would welcome a link. I quote: The frothing obscenity that is the Daily Express can do one.

😂fair enough

MangosteenSoda · 26/09/2023 16:50

Coatscoatscoast · 26/09/2023 16:47

I have updated my improv diagram using latest interpretation of fence positioning. I may have got it right this time. I think they think the trees are in no man’s land and therefore fair game.

You are WINNING at your training day.

Respect.

Oooooooooooo1 · 26/09/2023 16:51

that's rather jolly good @Coatscoatscoast 😁
I'm on my best behaviour now because the paps are here
YooHoo Mr Express

mayorofcasterbridge · 26/09/2023 16:51

sep135 · 25/09/2023 17:23

And this year my aunt has gone onto my Facebook, specifically my profile pictures and for Christmas I got the following....

I raise you a friend who had a photo of her children printed on a vinyl wrap so it filled the entire wall. We're not talking a modest wall in the loo, more akin to the big screen at the IMAX 360 in her breakfast room.

Her children are delightful looking and credit for her parental love but the mammoth moony faces slightly resembled the stuff of nightmares.

I did a course at one time with a lady who proudly advised us that she had her graduation photo on a plate... 😧

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.