Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden

[Dadfromthesea]

This is making me seethe and chuckle in equal measure.

At the end of our garden are some big old fir trees, then the boundary fence. After that there’s a little stream, and if you kept going you’d find the fence of the people who live in the house behind (let’s call them Mr and Mrs Jones), then their back garden.

The Joneseseses have just bought a big seating unit thing and plonked it at the back end of their garden (the bit nearest us). It’s about 10ft from my boundary fence and a good 70ft from the back of my house - we’re lucky to have a big garden - and there’s the fir trees as well which make it a pretty thick barrier.

But they decided they want some privacy and put up a big canvass barrier. Fair enough, I don’t care.

Except…

They’ve tied it to our fir trees!

They’ve clambered over their own fence, slung a ladder (an actual LADDER) over the stream, scrambled up the bank, and cable tied the bloody thing to our trees! Without so much as a word!

They did it in the dead of night! Came down the other day to discover the bloody Shroud of Turin cable tied to my trees! The ladder was still there on the bank of the stream.

So obviously, being British and terrified of confrontation, I did the natural thing of not mentioning it to them but instead cutting the fucker down. It’s now in my garage.

And they’ve replaced it with another!! It arrived overnight this morning!

Just to be clear - I don’t care that they want to shield themselves from us. It’s a dark green thing so I can barely even see it. But I can see it, and I do care that they’ve gone on a bloody Navy SEAL Commando mission, twice, to my garden to put the bloody thing up!

Yes I could go and talk to them but a) I’ve never said a word to them before b) they might kill me and c) this is funnier.

But tell me I ANBU please.

Jesus christ just go talk to them and tell them to take it down.

Buy a couple of rolls of the brightly coloured ‘hazard’ or ‘crime scene’ tape off eBay and tie it across your trees. That should do the trick to alert the neighbours you’re aware of their shenanigans…

You've really failed to understand the thread haven't you? The OP says himself in the OP "c) this is funnier". It's a joke (the reactions/suggestions, not the scenario)

Oooooh, what fun! Pictures pleeeeese .... and yes, keep cutting the thing off your trees, every single time! C.F's, or what?! Keep updating us, though, of course! 😀

Don't be such a fun sponge!

@Dadfromthesea NEW FRED NEW FRED QUIIIICK! PLEEEEAAAASSSSEEE!

I would have to put in that trampoline your kids want so they can bounce and look over the sheeting 😂😂
mor go out in the night and spray paint their side of the sheet saying ‘you are trespassing’….

on a more serious note though I would be concerned that the sheet has been erected to hide something else they’re up to… are they putting in a bridge over the stream?
I do think it would be sensible to find out exactly where your land begins and somehow mark the boundary…

At least you can rest assured that while they’re sat in their garden all they’ll hear is the plastic sheet blowing in the wind… and I definitely like the idea of the wind chimes, although I’d have to get one that sounded horrible 😂 or maybe install a speaker in your tree and play the lovely sound of dogs barking every-time they’re sat outside.. if they call the council to complain about your dog you simply say ‘we don’t have one’ lol (presuming you don’t)

How do people want their figgins done?

OOOOOK!

Bugrit! Millennium Hand and Shrimp

Crivens!

What is fun about this ? I don’t understand do you all really find this that entertaining ?

Personally find it rather boring now and those who are living for it just attack those who don’t find it funny and call them names and say we are nuts . Common sense would be to go and talk to them - come on ladies are you really that bored ?! And no I’m not keeping updated with the story just giving an opinion - yawn last one over it bye

I think that's pretty self evident. Do you mean you don't find it funny? Maybe use your scrolling fingers to scroll on to something else, if so.

Good lord, get a life.

I regret clicking on this thread. Trying for classics are we OP?

If you don’t find it funny, @Sumthingsweet, why read and comment? Are you deliberately trying to spoil other people’s fun, and if so, why? What do you gain from it?

I don’t expect every thread to interest or amuse me - if a thread doesn’t catch my interest, I click away from it. I don’t bitch-plop all over someone else’s fun.

Hello fir trees, my old friends
I've come to talk with you again
Because a neighbour softly creeping
Left its shrouds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams, I walked alone
Crossed the stream on steppingstones
'Neath the halo of a torchlamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light, I saw
Ten thousand MumsNetters, maybe more
MumsNetters talking without speaking
MumsNetters hearing without listening
MumsNetters writing songs that voices never shared
No one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Silence like a Brownie grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

And the MumsNetters bowed and prayed
To the Ikea scissor god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the MumsNetters are written on the city walls
In village halls"
And whispered in the sounds of silence

Thats amazing, so clever 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

i love that
<<was anyone else singing the words>>

@DevonSeaSwimmer

Yes 😂

I have thought that the point of the shrouds was to block the CF neighbors from seeing anything of the OP's house. Then they can blissfully pretend that all that land and view is theirs and theirs alone. Of course, the fact that they are depriving OP and family THEIR view of the stream etc. matters little to them.

Oh THIS! This needs to be done posthaste!

Ahhh shucks, thanks @DollieBantrysPantry @Willmafrockfit Just a little ditty I'm calling The Shroud of Silence with thanks to Paul Simon

I've got you beat. I've watched all of those PLUS Mayberry RFD, the original FBI, Car 54 Where Are You and Dragnet. Oh, and some Perry Mason and Matlock to boot.

Like you, I totally believe the OP. Someone says the OP should have gone to the neighbor about this. My opinion, the neighbor should have come to the OP. They didn't because they knew they'd be told they were batshite crazy town. I think the OP did a wonderful job but needs to stay the course.

Hell yeah, it's entertaining!!
Nobody's forcing you to read it. If you don't find it entertaining - and I'm guessing you don't - go and find something you do enjoy doing.
Or is trying to rain on people's parade your idea of fun???!!!