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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden

1000 replies

Dadfromthesea · 25/09/2023 15:33

This is making me seethe and chuckle in equal measure.

At the end of our garden are some big old fir trees, then the boundary fence. After that there’s a little stream, and if you kept going you’d find the fence of the people who live in the house behind (let’s call them Mr and Mrs Jones), then their back garden.

The Joneseseses have just bought a big seating unit thing and plonked it at the back end of their garden (the bit nearest us). It’s about 10ft from my boundary fence and a good 70ft from the back of my house - we’re lucky to have a big garden - and there’s the fir trees as well which make it a pretty thick barrier.

But they decided they want some privacy and put up a big canvass barrier. Fair enough, I don’t care.

Except…

They’ve tied it to our fir trees!

They’ve clambered over their own fence, slung a ladder (an actual LADDER) over the stream, scrambled up the bank, and cable tied the bloody thing to our trees! Without so much as a word!

They did it in the dead of night! Came down the other day to discover the bloody Shroud of Turin cable tied to my trees! The ladder was still there on the bank of the stream.

So obviously, being British and terrified of confrontation, I did the natural thing of not mentioning it to them but instead cutting the fucker down. It’s now in my garage.

And they’ve replaced it with another!! It arrived overnight this morning!

Just to be clear - I don’t care that they want to shield themselves from us. It’s a dark green thing so I can barely even see it. But I can see it, and I do care that they’ve gone on a bloody Navy SEAL Commando mission, twice, to my garden to put the bloody thing up!

Yes I could go and talk to them but a) I’ve never said a word to them before b) they might kill me and c) this is funnier.

But tell me I ANBU please.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
37
Iamnotalemming · 26/09/2023 07:19

I've enjoyed this thread no end.

OP if the Indiana Joneses (IJs?) put it up a third time you may need to resort to putting a note through their door.

Given its location opposite seating and material, I automatically assumed the shroud was being used by the IJs as a screen for watching films on. That might be why it was put up at nighttime as well. Not that this makes it OK to trespass on your garden.

LuciaPillson · 26/09/2023 07:23

Never mind a note, put the whole thread through their door. Or through their window, wrapped around a dead weasel, wrapped around a brick.

dudsville · 26/09/2023 07:31

Op, I'm only on page 4, and for the most part thoroughly enjoying this, but it's so weird that i just wondered, do you have a bright beaming light shining outv into your garden? It's just my neighbours have this and the shroud sounds like a potential solution.

ohdamnitjanet · 26/09/2023 07:33

Dadfromthesea · 26/09/2023 07:17

It’s still a bit wet and murky outside, so no update yet, aside from the fact that no SAS commandos swung in through the bedroom window to liberate a stolen shroud during the night.

But I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who’s replied. You’ve filled my heart with joy, made me laugh a lot, and made me want to find the book I wrote years ago and send it off somewhere (with illustrations).

The other thread as well (which is nothing to do with me) is a work of genius.

You all deserve lovely days. Thank you ♥️

Edited

I knew you had to be a writer 😊 if your book is half as good as this thread it’s a definite bestseller - you’ve made a lot of people very happy!

ChChChCherryBomb · 26/09/2023 07:37

You should lie in wait and then when you hear CF trying to tie Shroud 3, play the beginning of Hounds of Love by Kate Bush, (the sample of the words from The Night of the Demon film) - ‘it’s in the trees! It’s coming!’

Passepartoute · 26/09/2023 07:38

Birdsongsinging · 26/09/2023 03:39

Why can’t you just cut it down and leave it on their garden?

Presumably because she'd have to cross via the ladder bridge and heave it over the fence? I wouldn't fancy it, to be honest.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 26/09/2023 07:41

Bravo 👏🏼

Birdsongsinging · 26/09/2023 07:42

Just dump it over the fence and if that means it’s in the stream then …

MNetcurtains · 26/09/2023 07:47

Lollypop701 · 25/09/2023 20:25

So… the shroudyfuckers and the temple of trees… starring the cf Jones who appear stage streamside… guest appearance by a jumping spider, they run to the right and get hit by a body bag, voices in the night scream this is not your property… they look up to OP in the tree with scissors trying to snare them in the tarpaulin from the tree… and then the ladder snaps in half as they try to make their escape… with a hail of nerf gun bullets following them home… has block buster all over it!

Edited

😂😂😂

SoupDragon · 26/09/2023 07:47

Birdsongsinging · 26/09/2023 07:42

Just dump it over the fence and if that means it’s in the stream then …

Don't dump it in the stream. That would impact any wildlife etc.

ChChChCherryBomb · 26/09/2023 07:48

dudsville · 26/09/2023 07:31

Op, I'm only on page 4, and for the most part thoroughly enjoying this, but it's so weird that i just wondered, do you have a bright beaming light shining outv into your garden? It's just my neighbours have this and the shroud sounds like a potential solution.

We spoke to our NDN regarding an outside light that used to be motioned by us walking out of our back kitchen door (we’re higher than them)! It blinded me in the evenings. Rather than use a catapult we plucked up the courage to speak to her (after about 6months 🙄) and she was lovely, sorted out the direction of the sensors!

VenusClapTrap · 26/09/2023 07:50

Passepartoute · 26/09/2023 07:38

Presumably because she'd have to cross via the ladder bridge and heave it over the fence? I wouldn't fancy it, to be honest.

That’s why you drape it on cats. Cats are very nimble and would have no trouble transporting it across the ladder bridge. Teamwork is not their strong suit though, so things could go awry.

MNetcurtains · 26/09/2023 07:53

LuciaPillson · 25/09/2023 20:52

Ok, so OP is called Dadfromthesea, but everyone is referring to OP as "her" so now I don't know if OP is a Dad or a her or... or some kind of owl or something. Giant owl with Ikea scissors maybe.

I thought male at first, but being a Brownie leader set me straight.

LuciaPillson · 26/09/2023 07:54

MNetcurtains · 26/09/2023 07:53

I thought male at first, but being a Brownie leader set me straight.

So definitely giant owl then?

RememberWhy · 26/09/2023 07:59

Your ability to entertain with words is a joy. Will you be my friend? I am very fond of my sheets so wouldn't tie them to your trees 😉

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 26/09/2023 08:02

Well now I'm deeply invested in this thread.

I hope it's not another French doors non-fiasco.

Dadfromthesea · 26/09/2023 08:03

MNetcurtains · 26/09/2023 07:53

I thought male at first, but being a Brownie leader set me straight.

No, I am male. My DDs were both Brownies (DD2 still is), and they needed extra helpers. 18 months on and I am a fully fledged owl. I wondered if it would be OK being there as a Dad, but everyone is fine with it, and I love helping out 😊

OP posts:
Namechangeforthis88 · 26/09/2023 08:05

The ghillie suit, remarkably good value isn't it? Not sure yet what I'd use it for but I'm getting ads for the website now so all manner of tactical gear is a possibility.

Birdsongsinging · 26/09/2023 08:06

I am assuming the neighbours won’t leave it lying there. Agree I wouldn’t want to do it if it was going to affect local wildlife.

MNetcurtains · 26/09/2023 08:08

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 26/09/2023 07:16

How is the op supposed to get it there. Their garden is the other side of a stream.

Shroudyfuckers have conveniently left a ladder straddling the stream.

MNetcurtains · 26/09/2023 08:10

LuciaPillson · 26/09/2023 07:23

Never mind a note, put the whole thread through their door. Or through their window, wrapped around a dead weasel, wrapped around a brick.

Judging by all your posts Lucia, you definitely have form.😂

Ohyesthankyouglitter · 26/09/2023 08:19

This thread has really brightened my day :)

Toddlerteaplease · 26/09/2023 08:20

This is the second post I've read about screens/ sails at the bottom of a huge garden?

MNetcurtains · 26/09/2023 08:20

ScoobyDoesnt · 25/09/2023 21:24

This thread is brilliant! Diagram was awesome. Especially the ‘our house (in the middle of the street)’ bit

this is also funny…..https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4905627-to-think-my-neighbour-is-a-cf?reply=129463314

MN have deleted it (party poopers)😞

MrsMitford3 · 26/09/2023 08:26

ScoobyDoesnt · 25/09/2023 21:24

This thread is brilliant! Diagram was awesome. Especially the ‘our house (in the middle of the street)’ bit

this is also funny…..https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4905627-to-think-my-neighbour-is-a-cf?reply=129463314

Awwww it's gone @MNHQ these are the kinds of TAAT that do no harm and are so much fun plus furious I was busy securing my Ocado christmas slot and I missed it Isn't there a middle ground with TAAT's?

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