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AIBU?

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Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden

1000 replies

Dadfromthesea · 25/09/2023 15:33

This is making me seethe and chuckle in equal measure.

At the end of our garden are some big old fir trees, then the boundary fence. After that there’s a little stream, and if you kept going you’d find the fence of the people who live in the house behind (let’s call them Mr and Mrs Jones), then their back garden.

The Joneseseses have just bought a big seating unit thing and plonked it at the back end of their garden (the bit nearest us). It’s about 10ft from my boundary fence and a good 70ft from the back of my house - we’re lucky to have a big garden - and there’s the fir trees as well which make it a pretty thick barrier.

But they decided they want some privacy and put up a big canvass barrier. Fair enough, I don’t care.

Except…

They’ve tied it to our fir trees!

They’ve clambered over their own fence, slung a ladder (an actual LADDER) over the stream, scrambled up the bank, and cable tied the bloody thing to our trees! Without so much as a word!

They did it in the dead of night! Came down the other day to discover the bloody Shroud of Turin cable tied to my trees! The ladder was still there on the bank of the stream.

So obviously, being British and terrified of confrontation, I did the natural thing of not mentioning it to them but instead cutting the fucker down. It’s now in my garage.

And they’ve replaced it with another!! It arrived overnight this morning!

Just to be clear - I don’t care that they want to shield themselves from us. It’s a dark green thing so I can barely even see it. But I can see it, and I do care that they’ve gone on a bloody Navy SEAL Commando mission, twice, to my garden to put the bloody thing up!

Yes I could go and talk to them but a) I’ve never said a word to them before b) they might kill me and c) this is funnier.

But tell me I ANBU please.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
37
OnedayIwillfeelfree · 26/09/2023 01:59

Why don’t you just go and ask them not to persist?

shockthemonkey · 26/09/2023 02:19

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 25/09/2023 22:46

You are not the first person recently to call a suggestion "baroque". But what does it mean??

I’d like to know this too.

I think Russel Brand labeled the accusations against him as « baroque ». So I dismissed it as bad vocab. Maybe I need a rethink…

JimnJoyce · 26/09/2023 03:06

oh definitely cut it into a garland and rehang!

Birdsongsinging · 26/09/2023 03:39

Why can’t you just cut it down and leave it on their garden?

NeunundneunzigHorseBallonz · 26/09/2023 03:43

Best diagram ever @Dadfromthesea I never want this thread (And it’s counterpart) to end.

sashh · 26/09/2023 04:22

Combining ideas here.

Get a load of dolls heads, or just dolls, the creepier the better.

Stick / sew them to the original canvas.

Swap canvases in the night, extra points if you do it at halloween.

tensmum1964 · 26/09/2023 04:26

Shamelessly following as I have to know how this ends 🤣

DietsAreForTheWeak · 26/09/2023 04:47

Trespass should not be taken lightly. If you do nothing about it, they will get bolder. The key is to not go over the top. Confront without being confrontational, but let them know they trespassed.

inappropriateraspberry · 26/09/2023 05:19

Out the canvas back up, but with a message on it. 'I know what you did last summer,..'

ThePoetsWife · 26/09/2023 05:57

ErniesGhostlyGoldTops · 26/09/2023 01:56

You need to write them a letter,

It has come to my attention that you have twice entered my property to attach material to my trees via a ladder over my stream. This is very concerning for obvious reasons but I am not prepared to claim on my insurance if you get injured whilst on my property. If you wish to have more privacy in your garden, you need to erect a screen on your own land as according to statute law. Please do not enter my property for any reason in the future or attach anything to my property. Any further trespass will result in legal action on my part. Yours sincerely, OP

This. None of this passive aggressive stuff.

MidnightOnceMore · 26/09/2023 06:09

shockthemonkey · 26/09/2023 02:19

I’d like to know this too.

I think Russel Brand labeled the accusations against him as « baroque ». So I dismissed it as bad vocab. Maybe I need a rethink…

It can mean overcomplicated, grotesque.

Chickenkeev · 26/09/2023 06:20

You need to write a book, you write so well. I'm totally pissing myself here and i really needed a good laugh, thank you :)

Oysterbabe · 26/09/2023 06:25

Definitely a letter.

Please stop trespassing on my property and attaching items to my trees.

Myonlysunshine123 · 26/09/2023 06:36

I'm invested in this now, cant wait til they come round, or send the police! Such a funny diagram

Willmafrockfit · 26/09/2023 06:46

EmmaEmerald · 25/09/2023 22:26

OP I absolutely love your writing and this line is the 🎤Icing on the Cake🎤

"And when I held it in my arms, I felt like Fred Astaire"

absolutely!

Willmafrockfit · 26/09/2023 06:50

i think they want the shroud to screen a film?

MetaverseMavis · 26/09/2023 06:51

Get the brownies to draw giant eyes on one canvas and rehang it

TheBirdintheCave · 26/09/2023 06:51

Have they put another one up, OP?

hopeishere · 26/09/2023 06:56

Here for the update...

EliflurtleTripanInfinite · 26/09/2023 06:56

HotApplePiePunch · 25/09/2023 17:07

You need to paint “I Know What You Did” in large letters on the new tarp.

I was going to suggest WE ARE WATCHING YOU 😜

But I suppose that could be seen as threatening.

It would also confirm neighbours neuroses that OP is spying on them. Some night vision goggles next to the sign might be a handy addition. It would be interesting to see if shroud 3 is bigger than previous editions.

Banrion · 26/09/2023 07:15

Unashamedly following too

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 26/09/2023 07:16

Birdsongsinging · 26/09/2023 03:39

Why can’t you just cut it down and leave it on their garden?

How is the op supposed to get it there. Their garden is the other side of a stream.

LuciaPillson · 26/09/2023 07:16

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 26/09/2023 07:16

How is the op supposed to get it there. Their garden is the other side of a stream.

Shoot it out of a cannon? Seems obvious.

Dadfromthesea · 26/09/2023 07:17

It’s still a bit wet and murky outside, so no update yet, aside from the fact that no SAS commandos swung in through the bedroom window to liberate a stolen shroud during the night.

But I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who’s replied. You’ve filled my heart with joy, made me laugh a lot, and made me want to find the book I wrote years ago and send it off somewhere (with illustrations).

The other thread as well (which is nothing to do with me) is a work of genius.

You all deserve lovely days. Thank you ♥️

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