That this is a reasonable request and I don’t deserve to be told to fuck off

[Berriesareexpensive]

I have 3 dc. 20, 16, 13 plus me and dp

I do 2 food shops a week and meal plan. Without fail twice a week the older 2 dc will see the shopping arrive and eat as much as they can, if I’ve got 3 of something one of them will have 2. Time and time again 13 y o ds goes without

I’ve come in today from work and older 2 have eaten all the strawberries that only arrived this morning (3 punnets). I’ve spoken to them both and been told to fuck off! Why do they insist on eating more of their share every time knowing that one person will then go without ?

I can’t just buy more as I’m trying to budget and this is really irritating me

The F off was in response to me explaining that as they’ve had ds share of the fruit that me dp and ds were going to be having their share of something else as ‘that’s not fair’

Dont buy them. Just buy one and hand it over to your youngest if they are going without. Tell the older 2 either they learn some manners or buy their own.

I'd boot the 20 year old out if they told me to fuck off. I've got a nineteen year old and a seventeen year old and I can't imagine them carrying on like this.

Bloody hell, I’d hit the roof if my 17yo acted like this. No you are definitely not being unreasonable!

20yo should move out if he can’t behave with more consideration.

Sorry, one of these is a 20 year old?!
Completely unacceptable behaviour from an adult!

20 year old can start buying their own bloody food with that shitty attitude. No WAY would I be told to fuck off in my own house by two kids stuffing their faces with food I'd bought.

Yeah you need to lose your shit OP! 20 year old - tell me to fuck off one more time and you're moving out. 16 year old - stop paying for phone etc. Could you lock the food away?

Eating the fruit is bad but telling you to fuck off is worse. Show them the door

WTF!!! The 20 year old should be paying towards the food. Jesus Christ

Why are your kids swearing at you

Don't buy treats with you online shop. You will have to resort to going out and buying stuff like strawberries on the day that your youngest will eat them. Only buy for him so you can make the point about the older 2 taking more than is fair.

Christ, if I'd so much as spoken to my mother angrily I'd have been pasted, and I doubt she'd have let me remain under her roof if I'd told her to "fuck off".

Your problem is not a food, shopping, selfishness or greed problem - it's that for some reason, at least 2 of your children treat you with utter contempt.

Agree with a previous poster I wouldn't be supporting a 20 year old living in my home who told me to fuck off over something so simple. They clearly lack any respect for you so they can fuck off themselves into the real world and hopefully that opens their eyes to how bloody unreasonable they are being!!!

Fridge lock.

20 yo can buy their own food from now on and eat it as they see fit.

16 yo will have to wait until you are around to supervise their access to the fridge if they can't control themselves.

And what’s the consequence for telling you to Fuck Off?

Thankyou everyone . I was being treated like I was overreacting here. Dp at work so when he’s home I think we will be having a serious sit down conversation with them as this can’t carry on , I’ve really had enough

Yes - you need to toughen up. If my two (early 20s and mid teen) spoke to me like that there would be massive trouble. The 20s would be out and the teen would have his phone removed.

2 separate issues, both illustrating lack of respect

Can't think of an easy solution, but something needs to change

What does your DP think? Is he modelling good behaviour, or does he also snaffle all the best snacks?

What is the situation with thee 20yo? Working, uni etc?

Why do they insist on eating more of their share every time knowing that one person will then go without ?

Because they've always got away with it?

And as for telling you to fuck off, what consequence will there be?

Oh hell no. If any of my kids EVER spoke to me like that, they’d be on the street with my boot in their you know where. That is so disrespectful.

I’m afraid you’re going to have to buy “fun” stuff in person and not give those two greedy twits access to it before your youngest.

If anyone told me fuck if then I'd not be shopping for them, end of. They are bien rude, selfish and greedy.

Realistically if you've had this conversation multiple times then sitting down for a serious chat is going to achieve sweet fuck all. They need tangible consequences, a dressing down by mum and dad isn't going to give them any motivation to change their attitude.

Honestly? I can't even begin to think what my parents would have done if I had told my mother to fuck off. Neither of them ever heard me use that word. Use it to them? I wouldn't have dared.

I would say it's time the 20 year old moves out. I wouldn't buy any but the most basic food for the other teen and they would be getting a pile of chores to do to earn pocket money. I would expect the 13 year old to do chores too.

I'm properly outraged on your behalf. You could sit down and devise some system for dealing with the food but that is really dwarfed by the problem that your kids are treating you like shit. Do they always speak to you like that?