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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Waiting for police to remove abusive partner.

250 replies

Cinnamongirlinthesand · 02/09/2023 02:45

Just that, dog and I locked in bedroom.Neighbours aware. He's a functioning alcoholic.Have asked him to leave, repeatedly.My home and I pay for everything.I believe in MNs terms he's a cock lodger.Have so had enough. I have to tell him to shower, brush his teeth etc. The loo is left in a disgusting state, shit and wee everywhere yet I'm the unreasonable one. Just want to see the back of him.

OP posts:
IneedcoffeeinanIV22 · 02/09/2023 02:46

I don't have much to add but well done for calling the police! Takes some bloody guts. I hope you start to feel in a better place as soon as possible ❤️

Original poster
Cinnamongirlinthesand · 02/09/2023 02:48

IneedcoffeeinanIV22 Thank you.Feel so lost at the moment.

OP posts:
WeetabixTowels · 02/09/2023 02:48

Has he hurt you OP?

ThinWomansBrain · 02/09/2023 02:50

Sounds grim, hope they don't take too long to arrive.

Pass the time by googling locksmiths, and start an email list to yourself of anything else you have to sort once he's gone.

Original poster
Cinnamongirlinthesand · 02/09/2023 02:50

@WeetabixTowels Physically not so much that it shows but the mental and emotional abuse is so much worse, no bruises to show.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cinnamongirlinthesand · 02/09/2023 02:54

ThinWomansBrain. He doesn't have any keys and wouldn't think to get copies anyway.All I have to sort is packing all his belongings up.Everything is(luckily) in my name but he expects me to give him my car.No bloody way.

OP posts:
NotaCoolMum · 02/09/2023 02:57

Good job getting rid! He sounds revolting and you’ll be so much happier without him xx

WeetabixTowels · 02/09/2023 03:01

Does he live there OP? Have you been with him long?

I wouldn’t hold your breath on the police coming soon if he hasn’t been violent - it’s a Friday night, you’ll be lucky to get them out before daybreak sadly - so make sure you’re safe and he can’t get to you. And try and get a bit of sleep if you can

Original poster
Cinnamongirlinthesand · 02/09/2023 03:01

NotaCoolMum You're absolutely spot on there.

OP posts:
WeetabixTowels · 02/09/2023 03:02

Also re the car - are you the owner or registered keeper? Is his name on it at all? Make sure you have the keys near you if you can

Original poster
Cinnamongirlinthesand · 02/09/2023 03:06

WeetabixTowels

Thank you.Locked in bedroom with dog, not that he'd be much help, lick someone to death.,this is affecting him now, not eaten all day, no way am I letting anyone upset my animals. He's been very rough with him, when he thinks I'm in a different room. Not on.Neighbours and family aware of situation.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cinnamongirlinthesand · 02/09/2023 03:07

WeetabixTowels I'm the registered keeper and keys are with me and he's been taken off the insurance.

OP posts:
WeetabixTowels · 02/09/2023 03:10

Pleased you and doggy are safe! Do you have any kids with him?

As a PP said I’d be looking tomorrow at every measure to keep him out - in you’re not married and everything is in your name you’re pretty well protected

Summer2424 · 02/09/2023 03:11

Hi @Cinnamongirlinthesand
So sorry you're going through this xx
Hope the police get there soon xx

Original poster
Cinnamongirlinthesand · 02/09/2023 03:15

WeetabixTowels Not married and no kids, thank goodness, so no ties, just have to get him out. Apparently I'm stupid/ there's something wrong with me for wanting this to be over.

OP posts:
Summer2424 · 02/09/2023 03:22

@Cinnamongirlinthesand
Have you got the house keys? you can drop the keys down to the police through the window when they get there xx

Original poster
Cinnamongirlinthesand · 02/09/2023 03:29

Door is unlocked, in a fairly safe rural area.

OP posts:
Rainbowqueeen · 02/09/2023 03:34

Well done OP. You are a champion

Start deleting and blocking him off all socials while you wait.

Does he know any of your passwords?

Original poster
Cinnamongirlinthesand · 02/09/2023 03:40

Already blocked and deleted and has no access to passwords.Think I've pretty much got everything covered. Just a waiting game now. Earlier this week I offered him some money to leave ( my daughter was furious)now it's come to this. So want my life back. At least the hairy dog thing is snoring now.Wish I was.

OP posts:
Topseyt123 · 02/09/2023 03:48

Wishing you good luck, and I hope the police arrive very soon.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 02/09/2023 03:54

Been there OP, in your exact situation and getting rid was the best thing I have ever done. Now sitting cuddling my 5 week old whilst toddler and DP are in bed.

It does get better. Life is so much better when you get rid of a dead weight like that. Stay strong OP. Almost there x

JimJonesLivesInMyHead · 02/09/2023 03:59

I really hope the police come soon OP. What you are doing takes a hell of a lot of courage. Take care of yourself and Ddog

skinnytobe · 02/09/2023 04:29

Hope the police are there.

Sending you strength op 🥰

ZiggZagg · 02/09/2023 04:34

Hope the police are there dealing with this and getting rid of him for you OP. Best of luck, love, peace and happiness xx❤️

Lizzy53 · 02/09/2023 04:44

This happening all the time these days.night.mare for you. Police should help you and good luck.you are doing the best thing for your own sanity.

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