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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Waiting for police to remove abusive partner.

250 replies

Cinnamongirlinthesand · 02/09/2023 02:45

Just that, dog and I locked in bedroom.Neighbours aware. He's a functioning alcoholic.Have asked him to leave, repeatedly.My home and I pay for everything.I believe in MNs terms he's a cock lodger.Have so had enough. I have to tell him to shower, brush his teeth etc. The loo is left in a disgusting state, shit and wee everywhere yet I'm the unreasonable one. Just want to see the back of him.

OP posts:
Mamma2017 · 02/09/2023 16:58

IncognitoMam · 02/09/2023 13:43

Cheeky sod expecting rent money! Hope you told him to go to the far side of Fuckington!

I love that! I’m gonna use that haha 😄

determinedtomakethiswork · 02/09/2023 17:10

Cinnamongirlinthesand · 02/09/2023 10:52

Daughter has taken dog out for a much needed wee /poo.
He has no recollection of last night and if anything did happen it was all my fault anyway.
Think I'll let him have car, pack all his stuff and end of.

Don't give him your car! That's crazy. He's an alcoholic for one thing. Has he been contributing to bills?

Tabitha1960 · 02/09/2023 17:11

F

because if the police DO come and eject him, I want to know.

Two weeks ago the police refused to eject a stranger from my home, though I am elderly and disabled and was terrified of him. They said it was a "civil matter" and not their affair.

DaisyStarburst · 02/09/2023 17:11

Hope the police have been and son has picked him up now. Enjoy your peaceful life without him.

determinedtomakethiswork · 02/09/2023 17:13

His poor son 😢

justanothernamechangemonday · 02/09/2023 17:15

Yes his poor son but he really isn't and shouldn't be OP's problem.

jeaux90 · 02/09/2023 17:16

Well done OP. Enjoy a peaceful life without him in it

LuisaF · 02/09/2023 17:30

Thats great news op! Did he work? Why is he expecting you to fund him? Youre not married

AutumnCrow · 02/09/2023 17:34

Tabitha1960 · 02/09/2023 17:11

F

because if the police DO come and eject him, I want to know.

Two weeks ago the police refused to eject a stranger from my home, though I am elderly and disabled and was terrified of him. They said it was a "civil matter" and not their affair.

OMG! We ought to have some sort of taskforce on here where we can come and help each other out in these sorts of situations, and then rip into the relevant Police & Crime Commissioners.

So much for 20,000 extra police officers ...

I hope to goodness you're all right.

JFDIYOLO · 02/09/2023 17:47

Don't give him the car! It's a deadly weapon in the hands of an alcoholic

Don't give him ANY money.

He is in his son's hands now.

Change the locks, in case, including window locks.

Bimblesalong · 02/09/2023 18:02

And get a steering wheel lock for the car …

IncognitoMam · 02/09/2023 20:18

Mamma2017 · 02/09/2023 16:58

I love that! I’m gonna use that haha 😄

Show quote history

You're welcome 😁

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 02/09/2023 20:31

AutumnCrow · 02/09/2023 17:34

OMG! We ought to have some sort of taskforce on here where we can come and help each other out in these sorts of situations, and then rip into the relevant Police & Crime Commissioners.

So much for 20,000 extra police officers ...

I hope to goodness you're all right.

Show quote history

That woman can't do basic arithmetic, it is only 3,000 extra police officers after the Tories got rid of 20,000 of them in the first place.
I too hope that @Tabitha1960 is all right. In similar/parallel vein, the "authorities" (in this case, social services and local GPs) refused to help me with my demented mother as she refused treatment and pretended she was all right (she addressed me as her sister whilst the assessor was there, for starters, but that made no difference, apparently she was in full control of herself, nothing to worry about. So much so that she roamed the streets half dressed looking for Mass at 3.00am, leaving her front door open all the while. But she said she was fine and I wasn't allowed to contradict her.). I doubt things have got any better in the past 10 years.

AdoraBell · 02/09/2023 20:31

Glad to see your updates. Do not give him any money or your car.

Original poster
Cinnamongirlinthesand · 02/09/2023 21:12

In the end he left peacefully with his son.
Police came this afternoon, very understanding and supportive.
Not pressing charges but applying for a non mol? order.
The bastard has taken all the remote controls too, probably out of spite.
Have blocked his number along with his family numbers.
Off to bed shortly, dog snoring away on sofa.
And I've been invited ( summoned) to friends for lunch tomorrow.
So things are looking up already, wasn't allowed a social life with him.

OP posts:
Iheartbobross · 02/09/2023 21:23

That's a great update OP. Stay strong and have a lovely time at your friends tomorrow.
Here's to a new and happy life 🥂

Americano75 · 02/09/2023 21:26

I'm so glad he's gone, now you're free.

bookworm44 · 02/09/2023 21:29

What lovely news, i'm so happy for you & your dog.

LuluBay · 02/09/2023 21:44

Great news! So happy for you and your dog. Glad you are seeing a friend tomorrow. Well done for staying strong.

Newestname002 · 02/09/2023 22:10

@Cinnamongirlinthesand

The bastard has taken all the remote controls too, probably out of spite.

Not too drunk to pull that trick on you was he? I hope that strengthens your resolve not to give him anything, car, cash, anything except his own belongings. Ask his son to bring/send your remotes back but you can probably buy new ones online, although replacements are not always as functional as the ones which actually come with the TV etc when you get them. 🌹

Yujismum · 02/09/2023 22:16

Glad the police turned up eventually. Enjoy your new (old) life OP.

IncognitoMam · 02/09/2023 23:25

What a weirdo taking your remotes. You can soon get more.
Enjoy your time with friends and never let another person dictate who you see.

Itick8outof10boxes · 02/09/2023 23:31

Fab update OP, MN salutes you !

AdoraBell · 02/09/2023 23:42

Took remotes? How petty and ridiculous. Well done blocking him and his family. Hope you have a lovely time with your friend.

AutumnCrow · 02/09/2023 23:54

IncognitoMam · 02/09/2023 23:25

What a weirdo taking your remotes. You can soon get more.
Enjoy your time with friends and never let another person dictate who you see.

It's barking, isn't it? You can buy universal remotes in Asda and Tesco fgs. Or use the buttons.

I don't think that's quite the control statement he thought it was.

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