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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Waiting for police to remove abusive partner.

250 replies

Cinnamongirlinthesand · 02/09/2023 02:45

Just that, dog and I locked in bedroom.Neighbours aware. He's a functioning alcoholic.Have asked him to leave, repeatedly.My home and I pay for everything.I believe in MNs terms he's a cock lodger.Have so had enough. I have to tell him to shower, brush his teeth etc. The loo is left in a disgusting state, shit and wee everywhere yet I'm the unreasonable one. Just want to see the back of him.

OP posts:
Nanaof1 · 02/09/2023 04:50

Please update us when you can and let us know when he is gone.

Stay strong and resolute as you are now.

Do you have any DC at home or are they older?

baffledcoconut · 02/09/2023 04:56

Have the most wonderful lie in when he’s gone. Fresh sheets, windows open, pot of coffee on the bedside table. Lie and enjoy the peace and embrace the new beginning.

Your strength is incredible. You and hairy sleeping dog can do this. There is a whole happy world of stress free living out there for you.

sashh · 02/09/2023 05:07

How are you doing OP?

Treacletartfart · 02/09/2023 05:37

Are you & doggy ok? Has the waste of space gone now?

Readingineading · 02/09/2023 06:30

@Cinnamongirlinthesand are you safe and is he out ?

DyslexicPoster · 02/09/2023 06:43

Hope he is gone now

OnlyJoking1 · 02/09/2023 07:07

Are you safe?

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/09/2023 07:13

I hope he’s gone op and you fell asleep. Please let us know you’re ok.

Escalateandcreate · 02/09/2023 07:14

Hope he’s gone and you are getting some rest OP. All the very best. You’ve done the right thing.

Whatswhatwhichiswhich · 02/09/2023 07:18

Hope you’re ok OP and the police have managed to remove him now Flowers you’re a bloody strong smart woman, you do not deserve this and you will be free of this.

YouJustDoYou · 02/09/2023 07:25

Did the police turn up in the end op? (can never trust them when they say they'll come out).

Oxborn · 02/09/2023 07:29

Hopefully fast asleep now and he’s gone

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 02/09/2023 07:33

🌺

MeridianB · 02/09/2023 07:42

Just wanted to add a handhold and a massive vote of confidence - you’re doing brilliantly. Hope this over very soon and you can begin the first of many weekends of peace. 🪷

Zonder · 02/09/2023 07:43

I hope he has gone now and that you can begin to recover.

ZadocPDederick · 02/09/2023 07:46

Cinnamongirlinthesand · 02/09/2023 02:54

ThinWomansBrain. He doesn't have any keys and wouldn't think to get copies anyway.All I have to sort is packing all his belongings up.Everything is(luckily) in my name but he expects me to give him my car.No bloody way.

A functioning alcoholic isn't going to keep a licence long anyway.

TiredCatLady · 02/09/2023 07:46

Hope you’re ok OP x

jeaux90 · 02/09/2023 07:47

Hope you are ok OP. Been here too, can't explain the peace I felt when it was over. Well done to taking back control.

sassyduck · 02/09/2023 07:59

I hope you're OK. Good luck with everything.

Beargrumps22 · 02/09/2023 08:04

hard to do but well worth it hope you and hairy doggo ok believe me the dog will be more use than him anyway pack his crap up and make a fresh start love and peace xx

Original poster
Cinnamongirlinthesand · 02/09/2023 08:04

Update
No police as yet.
He's crashed out on the sofa, hairy dog thing is under the duvet with me, snoring his head off.
At least he didn't kick off again last night.
I've got rid of his booze, so that'll start him off again.
This has been going on for a while now, lost count of how many times I've asked him to leave but apparently I don't mean it, I'm just being silly.He thinks he's quite a catch !

OP posts:
Shadesofscarlett · 02/09/2023 08:14

hopefully police will turn up soon - can you call a neighbour for support if he does kick off, or call the police again. Also well done for getting rid - whole new lease of life for you.

AuntieDolly · 02/09/2023 08:16

How long has he lived with you?

DoodlesMam · 02/09/2023 08:16

get a steering wheel lock for it, and consider a ring doorbell. And good luck. I had an abusive partner in 1998... ended up single for 15 years (and they were good years :-))

Userno01 · 02/09/2023 08:18

Hope they turn up soon. Is there anyone you can ask to be with you until they turn up?
Not sure if it's the same, but whenever there was company my abusive, alcoholic relative would always calm down.

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