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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Left 5yo alone in a restaurant for 2 minutes

567 replies

Havanawinter · 16/08/2023 20:03

I was in a chain restaurant with DS today who is 5, 6 in November. After the waitress had taken our order I went to the loo, leaving DS happily colouring at the table. Before I left I told the woman at the table next to us (who had young children) that I was nipping to the loo and could she please keep half an eye on DS.

When I arrived back at the table literally 2 minutes later I was basically chastised by the waitress for leaving. “I didn’t know if you were coming back for him! I was so worried!” Which seems a bit far fetched considering I’d also left my phone, purse, keys and bag of shopping on the table. She huffed at me again and left, but I could see her taking to her colleagues across the room about it. That was the end of the whole thing but it left me feeling a bit weird, it never even occurred to me that I was doing something wrong but now I’m wondering if my behaviour was unreasonable? Honest opinions welcome!

OP posts:
Doingmybest12 · 16/08/2023 20:05

I wouldn't have left him or asked a complete stranger to watch him .

HarrietJet · 16/08/2023 20:06

Me neither.

MontblancTheSecond · 16/08/2023 20:07

Would totally have done the same.

PizzaPlease7 · 16/08/2023 20:08

I personally would have taken my child at that age with me to the loo but I don’t think it’s a massive deal if they’re sensible and were occupied with colouring.

But YABU for disturbing another diner (regardless of whether she had young children or not!) and asking her to keep an eye on your child. That’s a big ask especially if said child decided to bolt! I wouldn’t ask a random to keep an eye on my purse let alone my child.

ItsNotRocketSalad · 16/08/2023 20:08

The waitress is an idiot.

Pineapplewaves · 16/08/2023 20:08

I would have take my son with me and just told the waitress that we were nipping to the toilet and would be back. I would have left coats, colouring stuff on the table so other people knew someone was sitting there and just took my valuables with me.

Cardboardcup · 16/08/2023 20:08

I would have done the same and have been asked to do the same too. Don’t worry about it.

readbooksdrinktea · 16/08/2023 20:09

I'd probably have mentioned it to the waitress tbh.

OlympicProcrastinator · 16/08/2023 20:09

Not at 5, no but I wouldn’t judge another parent that made a different choice especially for 2 mins. And she was rude to talk about you. Don’t overthink it, we all make decisions as parents and someone will always have something to say.

PollyAmour · 16/08/2023 20:09

I wouldn't have asked a stranger to keep half an eye on my child. I might ask them to keep an eye on my coat etc, perhaps. I'd take my child to the loo with me though.

continentallentil · 16/08/2023 20:09

At that age I’d probably have taken him with me, but that’s very cautious.

The waitress is an idiot. It’s not her place to worry or otherwise.

FilthyforFirth · 16/08/2023 20:09

I would have taken my son with me. No way at all would I leave him alone in public completely out of my sight.

Blahblahblah245 · 16/08/2023 20:11

PizzaPlease7 · 16/08/2023 20:08

I personally would have taken my child at that age with me to the loo but I don’t think it’s a massive deal if they’re sensible and were occupied with colouring.

But YABU for disturbing another diner (regardless of whether she had young children or not!) and asking her to keep an eye on your child. That’s a big ask especially if said child decided to bolt! I wouldn’t ask a random to keep an eye on my purse let alone my child.

I agree with this.

I have 3 young kids of my own who I take to the loo with me if we are out. I’d not thank you for asking me to watch your child while you were gone - they could do anything and I’d have to sort yours over mine.

either trust the child enough to leave him entirely or take him with you.

the waitress however was being melodramatic 🙄

Sandsational · 16/08/2023 20:11

I've left my 4 year old to do this in a cafe but I wouldn't have asked someone else to keep an eye, seems a bit of an imposition.

Bluejaybean · 16/08/2023 20:12

I would have taken my child with me, having said that he sounds like a very well behaved child as I'm not sure I could trust mine to stay sitting still and coloring in.

blahblahblah1654 · 16/08/2023 20:12

I think it's a bit rude to impose your child on some random stranger. It's a bit hard to say no. Plus it's a bit naive to trust a stranger with your child even if they do have kids of their own. The waitress was a bit over the top though.

3dogsandarabbit · 16/08/2023 20:13

I would take my child with me and I wouldn't leave my bag and purse either. Saying that if someone asked me to keep an eye on their child I'd be more than happy to.

Maireas · 16/08/2023 20:13

You weren't two minutes, though, were you?
All the waitress saw was a very small child unsupervised.

HeddaGarbled · 16/08/2023 20:14

I do understand. It’s so much quicker and less faff to leave him while you nip off, but you are minimising the amount of time and the imposition on the other customer and staff. He’s too young to be left out of sight in a public space.

PersephonePomegranate23 · 16/08/2023 20:14

I would have take my son with me and just told the waitress that we were nipping to the toilet and would be back. I would have left coats, colouring stuff on the table so other people knew someone was sitting there and just took my valuables with me.

This is what I've always done.

Beezknees · 16/08/2023 20:16

I wouldn't have done this. It's not fair either to ask a stranger to keep an eye on your child.

DinnaeFashYersel · 16/08/2023 20:16

5 yo goes to the toilet with you.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 16/08/2023 20:16

I wouldn’t have left either the 5 year old, or my purse and phone!

UltramarineViolet · 16/08/2023 20:17

It sounds like a huge overreaction by the waitress

Hopelesslyn · 16/08/2023 20:17

I could not do this too many horrible people out there looking for opportunities like this . I wouldn’t judge another parent doing this but me personally couldn’t .I would take my child with me ….saying that I wouldn’t even leave my purse unattended even for 2 mins .