Page 23 | Left 5yo alone in a restaurant for 2 minutes

Havanawinter · 2023-08-16T19:03:03+00:00

I was in a chain restaurant with DS today who is 5, 6 in November. After the waitress had taken our order I went to the loo, leaving DS happily colouring at the table. Before I left I told the woman at the table next to us (who had young children) that I was nipping to the loo and could she please keep half an eye on DS. When I arrived back at the table literally 2 minutes later I was basically chastised by the waitress for leaving. “I didn’t know if you were coming back for him! I was so worried!” Which seems a bit far fetched considering I’d also left my phone, purse, keys and bag of shopping on the table. She huffed at me again and left, but I could see her taking to her colleagues across the room about it. That was the end of the whole thing but it left me feeling a bit weird, it never even occurred to me that I was doing something wrong but now I’m wondering if my behaviour was unreasonable? Honest opinions welcome!

HarrietJet · 21/08/2023 17:39

are sensible enough to play in the river safely
Dear God.

Lennon80 · 21/08/2023 18:17

You did nothing wrong at all- waitress clearly doesn’t have kids and is a nob.

LovelyIssues · 22/08/2023 22:11

At 5, no. Maybe if he was 9 years or up. Asking a stranger to watch your child is a bit odd

SleeplessInShoeburyness · 22/08/2023 22:33

You didn’t tell the waitress where you were going and she had no idea where you’d gone or how long you’d be. All she knew was that you’d left a small child alone on the restaurant premises which was hers and ultimately the restaurant’s responsibility.

They could have had incidents in the past with kids being left unsupervised (very likely these days) so she was not being a nob at all!

It is not OK to leave a 5 year old unattended and although you may have asked someone else to watch him, that person could easily have their attention on their own children and enjoying their own meal. How can you rely on a complete stranger to watch a small child!

Who would you have blamed if your DS disappeared or had an incident while you left him unattended - the person you asked to watch him, the restaurant or yourself? I bet it would have been the restaurant!

Taking risks with DC, however small, is never worth the possible outcome. He could easily have got up to look for you and wandered out of the restaurant (no matter how much you think you know them DC can be unpredictable), or collided with a tray of food being carried as 5 year olds are the right height to not been seen by a waitress carrying a heavy tray.

Instead of being annoyed you were pulled up on neglectful parenting, be grateful no harm came from your poor choice.

Yesabsolutely · 22/08/2023 23:22

I definitely would have left a NT 5 year old whilst going to the loo. It’s a normal thing to do!! Am actually worried that so many people think otherwise.
As an adult and I am old !! I can only remember JB ,MM who were actually abducted in my entire life .

BlastedIce · 23/08/2023 07:45

SleeplessInShoeburyness · 22/08/2023 22:33

You didn’t tell the waitress where you were going and she had no idea where you’d gone or how long you’d be. All she knew was that you’d left a small child alone on the restaurant premises which was hers and ultimately the restaurant’s responsibility.

They could have had incidents in the past with kids being left unsupervised (very likely these days) so she was not being a nob at all!

It is not OK to leave a 5 year old unattended and although you may have asked someone else to watch him, that person could easily have their attention on their own children and enjoying their own meal. How can you rely on a complete stranger to watch a small child!

Who would you have blamed if your DS disappeared or had an incident while you left him unattended - the person you asked to watch him, the restaurant or yourself? I bet it would have been the restaurant!

Taking risks with DC, however small, is never worth the possible outcome. He could easily have got up to look for you and wandered out of the restaurant (no matter how much you think you know them DC can be unpredictable), or collided with a tray of food being carried as 5 year olds are the right height to not been seen by a waitress carrying a heavy tray.

Instead of being annoyed you were pulled up on neglectful parenting, be grateful no harm came from your poor choice.

Do you think the waitress could’ve said “hey where is your mum”, would’ve cut all that speculation wouldn’t it?

BlastedIce · 23/08/2023 07:46

SleeplessInShoeburyness · 22/08/2023 22:33

You didn’t tell the waitress where you were going and she had no idea where you’d gone or how long you’d be. All she knew was that you’d left a small child alone on the restaurant premises which was hers and ultimately the restaurant’s responsibility.

They could have had incidents in the past with kids being left unsupervised (very likely these days) so she was not being a nob at all!

It is not OK to leave a 5 year old unattended and although you may have asked someone else to watch him, that person could easily have their attention on their own children and enjoying their own meal. How can you rely on a complete stranger to watch a small child!

Who would you have blamed if your DS disappeared or had an incident while you left him unattended - the person you asked to watch him, the restaurant or yourself? I bet it would have been the restaurant!

Taking risks with DC, however small, is never worth the possible outcome. He could easily have got up to look for you and wandered out of the restaurant (no matter how much you think you know them DC can be unpredictable), or collided with a tray of food being carried as 5 year olds are the right height to not been seen by a waitress carrying a heavy tray.

Instead of being annoyed you were pulled up on neglectful parenting, be grateful no harm came from your poor choice.

It’s not neglectful parenting, but what is neglectful parenting is still taking an 11 year old into a female toilet with his mummy! That’s not teaching him life skills and is setting him up for lots of issues, that neglectful.

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 23/08/2023 08:53

Amazed how many people think asking a 5 year old couldn't result in them
A) Lying/exaggerating - "Mummy left me here AGES ago"/"I don't know where Mummy went"
B) Actually just noticing they are alone and panicking because they hadn't really heard what you'd said when you left - leading to them trying to find you and getting lost or hit by a tray
C) Getting upset because they see the waitress, who to a 5 year old will look like an authority figure, telling them off/they're in trouble for being alone

Or even that when parents have left children with a "You just sit there and colour, I'll be back in a few minutes" whilst they've gone shopping elsewhere (or even where they've done a runner) the waitress hasn't asked the child who said "Mummy went to the loo" and yet has been sat there hours

SuperNewMe · 23/08/2023 11:13

Lennon80 · 21/08/2023 18:17

You did nothing wrong at all- waitress clearly doesn’t have kids and is a nob.

The waitress was trying to do her job.
How can she carry out her duties, take trays etc into the back if she feels responsible for watching a kid by themselves?
Not a nob at all.

BlastedIce · 23/08/2023 11:14

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 23/08/2023 08:53

Amazed how many people think asking a 5 year old couldn't result in them
A) Lying/exaggerating - "Mummy left me here AGES ago"/"I don't know where Mummy went"
B) Actually just noticing they are alone and panicking because they hadn't really heard what you'd said when you left - leading to them trying to find you and getting lost or hit by a tray
C) Getting upset because they see the waitress, who to a 5 year old will look like an authority figure, telling them off/they're in trouble for being alone

Or even that when parents have left children with a "You just sit there and colour, I'll be back in a few minutes" whilst they've gone shopping elsewhere (or even where they've done a runner) the waitress hasn't asked the child who said "Mummy went to the loo" and yet has been sat there hours

How many parents leave their children to go shopping 🤔

eggandonion · 23/08/2023 12:53

In the 1980s i worked in a retail chain in a very nice university city.
We had a customer near closing time one day who left a toddler with a young male staff member so they could rush quickly to the main shop. It was about 10 minutes ago. My boss wasn't impressed.
When i worked in the main shop we had a man who left his baby with one of my colleagues most Saturdays so he could browse in peace.
I don't think this happens often! Although I now work besides an optician and we have occasional kids..late primary age...who come in alone while their parents are next door.

BlastedIce · 23/08/2023 14:07

eggandonion · 23/08/2023 12:53

In the 1980s i worked in a retail chain in a very nice university city.
We had a customer near closing time one day who left a toddler with a young male staff member so they could rush quickly to the main shop. It was about 10 minutes ago. My boss wasn't impressed.
When i worked in the main shop we had a man who left his baby with one of my colleagues most Saturdays so he could browse in peace.
I don't think this happens often! Although I now work besides an optician and we have occasional kids..late primary age...who come in alone while their parents are next door.

So they made arrangements? Didn't just leave them and go off? Got agreements?

Mutual consent then?

eggandonion · 23/08/2023 17:16

The Saturday baby was mutual consent and very happy to visit. The closing time toddler was more a bossy older woman telling a shop boy what to do.
I'm not advising either behaviour!

BlastedIce · 23/08/2023 20:20

eggandonion · 23/08/2023 17:16

The Saturday baby was mutual consent and very happy to visit. The closing time toddler was more a bossy older woman telling a shop boy what to do.
I'm not advising either behaviour!

But my point is they were not just left, internet ruin was known…

Why did they accept?

BlastedIce · 23/08/2023 20:32

BlastedIce · 23/08/2023 20:20

But my point is they were not just left, internet ruin was known…

Why did they accept?

Show quote history

Intention known

eggandonion · 23/08/2023 21:09

Saturday baby ...the young woman was the sort of person who plays peekaboo with babies so seemed happy to do it. More fun than working?
The toddler was a surprise package I think. We were glad the mum returned!
The fact that I remember 35 years on does underline the point that most people don't leave small kids to go shopping.

BlastedIce · 23/08/2023 21:48

eggandonion · 23/08/2023 21:09

Saturday baby ...the young woman was the sort of person who plays peekaboo with babies so seemed happy to do it. More fun than working?
The toddler was a surprise package I think. We were glad the mum returned!
The fact that I remember 35 years on does underline the point that most people don't leave small kids to go shopping.

Your post makes zero sense!

Previously you have said people do leave small kids to go shopping, you’ve then come up with nonsense stories about situations that are frankly mad but also consensual.

Now you’re saying they don’t leave their children to go shopping.

Im disengaging from you, you need to stop changing your narrative!