Left 5yo alone in a restaurant for 2 minutes

[Havanawinter]

I was in a chain restaurant with DS today who is 5, 6 in November. After the waitress had taken our order I went to the loo, leaving DS happily colouring at the table. Before I left I told the woman at the table next to us (who had young children) that I was nipping to the loo and could she please keep half an eye on DS.

When I arrived back at the table literally 2 minutes later I was basically chastised by the waitress for leaving. “I didn’t know if you were coming back for him! I was so worried!” Which seems a bit far fetched considering I’d also left my phone, purse, keys and bag of shopping on the table. She huffed at me again and left, but I could see her taking to her colleagues across the room about it. That was the end of the whole thing but it left me feeling a bit weird, it never even occurred to me that I was doing something wrong but now I’m wondering if my behaviour was unreasonable? Honest opinions welcome!

The difference is they're less than 2 feet away?

I'd have said that would be the best option.

How do you know they won't steal your coat, you don't know them. I would never ask a stranger to watch anything of mine.

You can have the sick bucket if you life but I have five babies who never made it earthside so I don't take my kids for granted and yes, they are precious. I've been through too much to rush anything happening to them and 5 is far too young to leave them on their own.

Good for you, not everyone is the same. I would have agreed out of politeness but I do not know the temperament of this child. Are they going to burst into tears if they realise mum isn’t next to them? Are they going to get up and try and find mum? I find it stressful enough dealing with my own young kids in a restaurant let alone looking after a random persons! Even if it is just for 5 mins. I would never put that responsibility on a stranger.

I've got one of each. We just go to the toilet at the same time, I don't see that that's weird. Women do it in clubs and bars all the time.

Sure, so equally not everyone will think it's a big ask.

I'm struggling to believe this is real! I have a five year old and no way would I do this, and neither would anyone else I know.

Where do you live? Sounds awful.

I can believe it. Saw a dad leave his similar age kid in a Costa to go shopping. Was just me, my friend and the barista there. Bloody stupid.

You really think it's dependent on where you live? 🙄

I didn’t say they would?! 😂 do you know how AIBU works? You give YOUR personal opinion. Of course lots of people wouldn’t mind..just like lots of people would mind.

How likely is it though that a woman kidnapper is sat right there next to you in a restaurant? That kidnapper then has to drag a distressed child through the place, past the waitress who knows ‘the kidnapper’ isn’t the child’s mum as she saw the child come in with the kids real mum! I can’t think all this could be done in seconds.

I've been leaving mine briefly while I pop to the toilet or whatever for years now. They are still here! 😆

I don’t think abduction would be my worry, it would be more my ds would wander off looking for me or get worried because of a stranger. I think it’s mad people are saying the waitress shouldn’t have even reacted, imagine your child wanders off or you didn’t come back and everyone’s saying to her ‘but you saw the mother leave and did nothing?’ We’ve all done something similar though op, you take risks sometimes, sometimes you’re luckier than others

I wouldn't have left the child , the purse or the phone on the table.

Same.

Earth, where 8 million children are kidnapped every year.

The waitress is a jobsworth. Your son was colouring in, keeping occupied while you went to the loo. In my opinion you’ve done nothing wrong! x

Yes obviously, according to the post I was replying to. Did you not understand it?🙄I've lived in a few towns/places and a child has NEVER been taken from a busy cafe/restaurant, with lots of witnesses around, cameras too probably, in the few minutes it takes a parent to nip to the toilet. It's a 6 year old not a 6 month old baby.

Me too 🙋‍♀️ and i have done it. My 5 year old will also go to the toilet herself in restaurants

So you left a small child alone, with valuables, at a table in a restaurant while you were out of sight and told someone you don't know from Adam to keep an eye on your child? Just because she had kids? Are you mad?! A) you didn't know her and B) that's a hell of an imposition to put on a stranger probably juggling her own kids.

And unless you went to the loo to glance in the mirror, you were longer than 2 minutes.

It's negligent leaving a small child alone like that, colouring or not, but it's fucking madness to leave a child alone with valuables on display.

Nobody's said anything like that at all.though 🙄
They just wouldnt act the same way and we're entitled to feel like that.
You might ne comfortable leaving your child with a stranger. Others aren't

Me too! I must try harder🤣 (joking, before everyone starts ringing SS).

@User1145 what about getting fuel, leaving our children at nursery/school, kids parties, play dates etc? They could all be classed as dangerous if you’re that way inclined but as parents, we takes judged risks, we have to otherwise we bring up children not able to cope with adulthood.