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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend topless in front of DH

576 replies

cakehoover123 · 20/07/2023 14:53

Went to a friend's house - just her, me and DH. I went to the loo. When I came back in the room, she was breastfeeding her 8-month-old.

She'd removed whole top and bra on both sides, so was topless, with the non-feeding boob not covered up by baby. DH was doing a decent job of keeping his eyes on her face though 🤣

AIBU to think that's a bit odd?

I know I can't ever comment to her. Just wondered what to make of it privately, especially since she's always been a wee bit flirty with DH.

But I've never breastfed... so maybe this is normal, or maybe I'm just a prude. Would you breastfeed alone with a friend's DH? And if so would you cover up more than this?

OP posts:
porridgeisbae · 20/07/2023 14:55

I do know of women who use breastfeeding as a way to flaunt.

Shoxfordian · 20/07/2023 14:56

I would think that was quite odd tbh

Sanch1 · 20/07/2023 14:56

I was about to say YABU when I saw it was about breast feeding but YANBU that is odd. Even when home alone and feeding I would just pull out the required boob and keep the other one covered!

Humidititties · 20/07/2023 14:58

Yes, if this actually happened I'd find it a little odd.

Original poster
cakehoover123 · 20/07/2023 14:58

To be fair to her I think it was because she wanted to switch boobs during the feed, which she then did (and talked us through) but both boobs stayed out throughout!

OP posts:
Loveys · 20/07/2023 14:58

Ffs breastfeeding is about as sexy as diarrhoea. Flaunting? I have heard it all now

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 20/07/2023 14:58

I didn't think anything of breastfeeding in front of anyone, and I'd have certainly fed dd in front of a friend's dh. However, I didn't ever need to strip half naked to do this, and there wouldn't have been anything to see!!!

Cablescablescables · 20/07/2023 14:59

I was going to say it's odd but not weird until I saw she's a bit flirty with your DH - VERY weird!! She surely can't think breastfeeding is sexy?! It's one of the most pragmatic things in the world!

PurpleChrayne · 20/07/2023 14:59

porridgeisbae · 20/07/2023 14:55

I do know of women who use breastfeeding as a way to flaunt.

Sure you do.

fruitbrewhaha · 20/07/2023 14:59

That is weird

MargosMangos · 20/07/2023 15:00

I'd find that odd too

Nevermind31 · 20/07/2023 15:00

Off to uncover both… wouldn’t the other one start leaking???

roarrfeckingroar · 20/07/2023 15:00

Bit odd way to breastfeed but yeah I think YABU nonetheless

Jorun · 20/07/2023 15:01

I breastfeed currently and you can't see any part of me. I just have the nipple out which is in my baby's mouth, even the required boob is covered. My sister is also bf at the moment, same you can't see anything. Your friend is either weird or still flirty with your hubs.

alanrickmanshamster · 20/07/2023 15:01

Ok so I breastfed in front of everyone, except my lovely FIL who is 85 as I didn't want to make him feel awkward. He's a dear sweetheart and whilst he would have been fine, I just didn't want to go there.

Anyhoo

Breastfed plenty in front of DH's brother, friends, teenage sons etc. with minimal flesh on show

No one wants to see huge milky tits.

Your friend is weird.

cuckyplunt · 20/07/2023 15:01

Gawd, my DH would literally curl up and die of embarrassment.

GigiAnnna · 20/07/2023 15:01

I breastfed all my kids and there's no need to have your nipples out at all. Inappropriate and weird. The purpose of breasts are to feed children, but they are also sexual and that will never change.

Meeting · 20/07/2023 15:01

My DH would have left the room.

Merrow · 20/07/2023 15:02

Admittedly I've stripped half naked in my own house as DS2 is proving to be a crap feeder and very adept at pulling down my top to shove that in his mouth instead... I'd do my best to avoid that with guests though. Can confirm I see nothing remotely sexy about breastfeeding.

Ponderingwindow · 20/07/2023 15:02

It’s a very unusual way to breastfeed.

I will always defend a woman’s right to remove as much clothing as she sees fit for the process though. It’s not illicit or sexual and if men are allowed to remove their shirts then so are women.

Workawayxx · 20/07/2023 15:02

I’m definitely not a “cover up!” Type towards breastfeeding women and have certainly done my share of (accidental) nipple flashing when feeding in public but very odd to get both boobs out the whole time. Especially that she did it while you were in the loo.

I’d have to go round for a coffee without DH to see if she did the same in front of just me!

Sigmama · 20/07/2023 15:02

I breast-fed all my kids, never done that or seen that, sounds v odd

Ballinluig · 20/07/2023 15:02

Would the other tit not have started pouring milk everywhere?? Or just mine that were like a pair of water canons?

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 20/07/2023 15:02

That's how I fed DS....in my own home...without visitors....on days I couldn't be bothered to keep whapping them out.

I get needing to switch boobs quickly if you have a strong letdown but I still wouldn't strip half naked in someone elses home to do so

nonmerci99 · 20/07/2023 15:03

What a weird selection of comments. If you think this is flirtatious, that is on you for sexualising breastfeeding. Some women do not have qualms about breastfeeding in front of others -- that does not mean this friend is "flaunting" or trying to attract your husband by feeding her baby.

If it really bothers you, you could talk to her about it, but she will probably think you are the odd one. You were in her house, after all, and she has an infant.