Friend topless in front of DH

[cakehoover123]

Went to a friend's house - just her, me and DH. I went to the loo. When I came back in the room, she was breastfeeding her 8-month-old.

She'd removed whole top and bra on both sides, so was topless, with the non-feeding boob not covered up by baby. DH was doing a decent job of keeping his eyes on her face though 🤣

AIBU to think that's a bit odd?

I know I can't ever comment to her. Just wondered what to make of it privately, especially since she's always been a wee bit flirty with DH.

But I've never breastfed... so maybe this is normal, or maybe I'm just a prude. Would you breastfeed alone with a friend's DH? And if so would you cover up more than this?

I don't recall ever having even just 1 boob fully exposed when breastfeeding. Even when alone. You just don't need to.

What your friend did is rather strange.

Good question. Presumably you have been around her breastfeeding in the last 8 months has she always done it this way in her home?

and yes it definitely happened! and no I didn't spot any leakage, but I wasn't looking too closely!

it’s weird, just not necessary to strip to waist!

yes good question!

It's a pretty specific kink for a select group of men AFAIK -- can't say my husband was ever into it, in fact it had the opposite effect on him.

I really doubt she was trying to flirt by breastfeeding. The more likely scenario is that it didn't occur to her it would make you/your husband uncomfortable.

I do think it's a bit odd, but I doubt it's flirty or flaunting anything. Breastfeeding is really the opposite of sexy so if she is trying to flirt she's doing so bizarrely.

Is it cultural? Friend of mine's family are all much more chill about boobs out than we tend to be, remember going over there when she and her sisters were all bf and hanging out (ha) together and there was a lot of boob happening. One sister completely topless and totally unconcerned.

I'm not sure breast feeding is 'about as sexy as diarrhoea' to other people, I'm sure some thinks it's great to observe!

How comes men can walk the street topless with barely a second glance but a woman can't be topless to feed her baby without her motives being questioned? It's just nipples.

This

Wonder if she adopts this breastfeeding ‘style’ when her dad or FIL is over? 🤔

That's the point, it's not just nipples and she was stripped from the waist. Not really appropriate when you have guests

Maybe just me and my experiences, but breastfeeding boobs are swollen, uneven, veiny, giant nips and to be honest, quite grosse.

Can't see how she was showing them off in a flirty way. But only you can assess that

Hasn't your husband seen anyone else's tits but yours before?

Good on her. I skulked when I was breastfeeding. I wish I'd had the confidence to get them out when I needed too, instead of looking for feeding rooms and hiding in my bedroom or the back seat of my car!!

By other women too - very few folk supporting this woman on this thread when so often we hear about how tits are not sexual on here.

I have breastfed two babies and would never have dreamt of getting completely topless in front of someone else's husband.

It is weird. I wouldn’t even do this when alone just because I’ve never found it necessary. Maybe some people do but this situation is odd

21st century society is remarkably prudish about nudity. It’s as if the 60s and 70s never happened.

Of course tits are sexual

It's weird YANBU. If she was totally knackered and cba doing anything but feed the baby then OK at a push. What did DH say happened, maybe she said, 'I need to feed, do you mind or want to leave room' maybe she felt if she'd covered other boob he might have felt she was saying he was looking...... Did he get up and give her privacy....

I think it’s weird tbh, and not all men breastfeeding a turn off, there’s definitely some men that are into it. In theory breasts shouldn’t be sexualised, but in reality they are, so it’s a bit weird to sit there topless with your husband and think that’s normal.

As a man, I tend to prefer not to have to deal with this!!!!

I'm aware it's normal and natural and all that stuff. But it's uncomfortable when it's literally in my face. Perhaps that's because our society is hypersexualised but that's the reality...

Tits are very very sexual.

But breastfeeding isn’t, really.

I breastfeed by taking off my entire top. DS has never liked only seeing part of one breast - he’s always needed to see both breasts and be able to switch as he wants. But I’ve never done this in front of anyone - especially not in MY house and certainly not for an eight month old who can wait the 10s it would take to switch rooms. I think it’s definitely odd.

Come off it. Taking off your top and your bra and sitting there with both baps out while feeding is unusual. No one is saying she needs to sit hiding in the corner of the loo, but whipping your garb off in front of your mate’s husband while the OP was out of the room, is a little unorthodox.

I have a friend who became ‘combatively exhibitionist’ and very attention seeking during the feeding time. She’d have done something like this in a restaurant. She had cracking boobs to be fair, and loved the reaction. She dies now at how she was. 😂 She blames the hormones and how her husband was with her during that time.