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Original poster

Being filmed by another diner in a fancy restaurant

284 replies

Changedmymindtoday22 · 04/07/2023 22:46

Here is the scenario.
I went to a very fancy restaurant this week.
A couple at the next table were very keen on filming every move they made on their phones, fine.
Next thing… they whip it out a tripod in the restaurant and place their phone to film themselves enjoying their meal.
The camera is also pointing at me.

They take the camera and I can see that I am also (unnecessarily captured) by the angle they were shooting.
They proceeded to do this 3 times, for a couple of minutes at a time.

WWYD in this situation?

A. Say nothing?
B. Ask couple to stop?
C. complain to fancy restaurant staff?

I did one of the 3, but am genuinely torn about what the best thing to do in this rather bizarre situation that made me quite uncomfortable.

I will share what happened next once I gauge opinions.

OP posts:
BreadInCaptivity · 04/07/2023 23:14

Why were you mortified?

I don't understand.

I'd have said no, I have seen myself in the footage to the manager.

I wouldn't have be at all embarrassed about making a fuss in these circumstances.

It's a meal not a performance you are expected by strangers to participate in.

CuteCillian · 04/07/2023 23:14

A- I don't mind, better than being deliberately excluded because I don't fit the glamorous demographic.

Mama678 · 04/07/2023 23:17

D thrown food at the phone so tripod fell over 😂

no i wouldnt like that. Its rude and ruined your meal

BamBamBambi · 04/07/2023 23:19

Should of just told them to stop straight away.

Charliecatpaws · 04/07/2023 23:19

I would have asked to be moved to a different table as soon as they whipped their tripod out. No way I want to be in the background of influencers videos 😳

Original poster
Changedmymindtoday22 · 04/07/2023 23:19

I was mortified because they told the couple I complained. We were only half way through our meal and I found the remainder uncomfortable as they knew I complained.

I would have expected the manager to act in a professional and discreet manner and just ask them to stop filming and ensure no one else was on the footage.

we were there for a special occasion, I was drinking champagne as a massive treat. It just spoilt it for me. The manager more than the weird couple with the tripod.

OP posts:
Wendysfriend · 04/07/2023 23:22

Where the fuck did they pull a tripod out from? I'm picturing a Mary Poppins bag.

ClairDeLaLune · 04/07/2023 23:27

That tripod would have been “accidentally” knocked over when I went to the loo. Totally agree about the manager OP, she was indiscrete and unprofessional.

ZairWazAnOldLady · 04/07/2023 23:27

I think you should have responded that they did have you on film and ask for the manager to deal with it and move you to different table. Since you didn’t I would write saying your meal was ruined first by the filming and secondly by the aftermath of their intervention.

Hawkins0001 · 04/07/2023 23:27

Wendysfriend · 04/07/2023 23:22

Where the fuck did they pull a tripod out from? I'm picturing a Mary Poppins bag.

You can get mini ones or ones that are around 30cm and have foldable or bendable legs etc

wildfirewonder · 04/07/2023 23:27

I would have asked to be moved.

mondaytosunday · 04/07/2023 23:29

I would have expected the restaurant to tell them they weren't allowed to film unless with previous permission as soon as it started. And if they had arranged it to inform anyone seated next to them that there would be filming and give you the option to move.
At the time I would have asked to be moved if they would not stop the couple from filming. Was there sound? Could they guarantee any conversation wasnt picked up? I would complain to the owner about your experience.
I was in an upmarket restaurant and there was a table with two parents and two adults (possibly their son and sister or girlfriend). The young msn was inebriated and very loud and sweary in an obnoxious braying way - I kept waiting for the waitstaff to deal with it. I was with my young teenage daughter and we could barely talk to each other he was so loud and it was embarrassing. He eventually quieted down when the food arrived but I did complain to the staff that he made us feel very uncomfortable. They apologised but they should have dealt with it without someone having to ask.

Summerfun54321 · 04/07/2023 23:30

99% of people wouldn't want to have their meal out ruined by being filmed, no need to feel shy about complaining or them knowing. No need to be subtle either. I wouldn't have spoken to the waiter, I'd have told the couple directly to stop filming.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 04/07/2023 23:32

The manager was incompetent. She should never have assigned the "blame" to another patron.

"Sir, madam, I'm sorry but we prefer that no filming take place on our premises. Thank you."

Original poster
Changedmymindtoday22 · 04/07/2023 23:32

Wendysfriend · 04/07/2023 23:22

Where the fuck did they pull a tripod out from? I'm picturing a Mary Poppins bag.

It was one of those telescopic extendable tripods which would only hold a phone. It did fold down neatly.
How sad that people need to do this. I will search the restaurant to find the reel. 😂
I didn’t think to ask to move to another table! But that would have been even more hassle for me.

OP posts:
grumpycow1 · 04/07/2023 23:35

I’d now be complaining about the manager! They handled it really badly. You should not have been brought into it at all. OP you are well within your rights and hopefully they will offer you a partial refund or something.

ItsNotRocketSalad · 04/07/2023 23:35

D) Ask to be moved to another table

Wenfy · 04/07/2023 23:36

I would take option 3 & then go nuclear on social media in your position. If it’s a Michelin Star I’d tag the big name chef too. You don’t pay £££ for a meal to be treated like that.

Dibbydoos · 04/07/2023 23:37

I would have been direct - hi guys I can see you're taking pics and video, could I ask that you angle it so I'm out of the shot? Thanks.

If it was annoying I'd have told them that too.

WTF are influences anyway? Seriously they're jumped up sales people or complainers, right? Just stop watching them!

SarahDippity · 04/07/2023 23:38

I would have done B and C. It’s a massive intrusion and would have completely distracted me from my enjoyment. It sounds like they had the manager’s approval, direct or not, to continue. Absolutely wrong of the manager to handle it as she did, and to make your discomfort worse. Was any offer made to apologise?

DreamTheMoors · 04/07/2023 23:41

Changedmymindtoday22 · 04/07/2023 23:11

Ok, so here it goes.
I took option C and spoke to my very nice waiter to express that I was uncomfortable.
He was kind of giggling at them as he found it strange himself. He told he he would speak to his manager. I thanked him.

Manager walks up to the couple and asks them if they could
stop filming as I am uncomfortable at the next table and asked them if I was on any of the footage. They assured her I wasn’t.

Then the manager walks over to our table and says loudly, don’t worry you were not included on the footage.

(I saw myself as they checked the footage before the complaint so that wasn’t true)

I was actually mortified.

This was a very fancy reputable restaurant. The manager was a total idiot.

She was as discreet as a kick in the face.

@Changedmymindtoday22

OF COURSE the manager was going to say this to you and not complain to the videographers.

You weren’t giving them free advertising!!

Original poster
Changedmymindtoday22 · 04/07/2023 23:43

@DreamTheMoors maybe I was, but perhaps I’m much more discreet. 😉

OP posts:
Seeingadistance · 04/07/2023 23:50

I would have spoken to the couple myself, but for fun beforehand would have pulled ridiculous faces in the background!

The manager was useless.

I'm sorry that your lovely evening out was spoiled.

ColdHandsHotHead · 04/07/2023 23:50

I could hazard a guess at which restaurant it was and they’ve built their ‘reputation’ such as it is by letting people do crap like this.

HappyHolidays22 · 04/07/2023 23:52

I would’ve done C and expected the manager to be discreet about it just like you!

what an ridiculous situation all round (the vloggers and the manager!). I would complain to the restaurant to be honest. That is not the level of service I would expect from somewhere fancy. The manager should have that feedback.

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