Being filmed by another diner in a fancy restaurant

[Changedmymindtoday22]

Here is the scenario.
I went to a very fancy restaurant this week.
A couple at the next table were very keen on filming every move they made on their phones, fine.
Next thing… they whip it out a tripod in the restaurant and place their phone to film themselves enjoying their meal.
The camera is also pointing at me.

They take the camera and I can see that I am also (unnecessarily captured) by the angle they were shooting.
They proceeded to do this 3 times, for a couple of minutes at a time.

WWYD in this situation?

A. Say nothing?
B. Ask couple to stop?
C. complain to fancy restaurant staff?

I did one of the 3, but am genuinely torn about what the best thing to do in this rather bizarre situation that made me quite uncomfortable.

I will share what happened next once I gauge opinions.

B or C. It would spoil my meal as I'd be very uncomfortable.

B

'I don't want to be included in your video. Please direct the camera away from me.'

If the refused, I would get up and block the camera/phone etc

I would also ask dow the restaurant manager and complain that I want to enjoy my meal in peace without being filmed.

My husband would also tell them
In no uncertain terms to stop.

Just say. Please dont film me. It's so tacky

I would complain to the restaurant, to be honest. I grew up in the restaurant business (my mother was a cook and a waitress) none of them were posh restaurants but that would never have happened.

The manager made you feel uncomfortable after you had made a reasonable request for you to be filmed stopped.

So after that another manager(?) came over to assure me I wasn’t filmed as her colleague had told her what happened.
I was very annoyed still.
The conversation turned quite quickly to how her colleague had completely humiliated me, spoilt a lovely meal, had managed the situation horrendously and could try harder to be more discreet. This is while still sitting at the table wjth said tripod couple within earshot.

She told me glass of champagne was on the house and offered me more, which I took, so that did equate to a sizeable saving. I was only going to have a single glass
and was savouring it because it was so expensive.

But I’m still not satisfied. It really spoilt the trip which I had been looking Forward to for ages!

I really really really dislike this world of filming every move and curating this picture perfect image on socials to aid making others feel shit about their own lives.
It’s just so fake and desperately sad.

I'd have done the same and also been annoyed!

Anyway, where were you? What did you eat? What was the special occasion?!

Completely out of order to pull out a tripod in a fancy restaurant, I may understand pulling out an iPhone and filming your partner for half a minute discreetly but a TRIPOD? That's going to make everyone around uncomfortable and I'm pretty amazed by the manager response, nobody wants to be filmed while eating, he should have told the couple straight away that filming during dining hours is not allowed unless they get permission. I would leave a nasty review on their google business listing explaining the issued managers response.

I would be most likely to do A followed by B. C feels more escalatory / uncomfortable to me because it’s getting the management involved, and I would assume it would be obvious who the complaint was coming from.

Leave a review.

I kind of think it’s ok to film yourselves but not to film others. Not sure why they needed to do this though.

I’ve posted before about the ridiculous drunk you tubers that I suffered at a Michelin star restaurant.

It was a very small dining room and they were so obnoxious, I was surprised the staff weren’t right on it but it was immediately post covid and they seemed to be struggling with staff generally at the venue.

the room let out a collective laugh when the bloke walked into a wall though. Karma of sorts.

You sould have said i know i was filmed i was on the screen

tweet them they dont like the negativity

Why shouldn't you complain? You are perfectly reasonable. Nobody wants to be films while they are eating their dinner.

She could give them free advertising now. 😉😇

I would have done D and left. I'd be telling the restaurant I wasn't paying either. I'd pay for anything I had actually managed to finish eating but if I was leaving my main course half way through I wouldn't be paying for it. I would have left them a blistering review too.

When the second manager spoke to you, you should have told them that you were really upset, it was a special occasion, and having it first of all spoiled by being filmed without your permission, and then humiliated by a manager who divulged to the people responsible that you were the person who had complained, that you expected not a free glass of champagne, but for the meal to be totally free of charge! To receive that sort of treatment in what you class as an upmarket restaurant, is TOTALLY unacceptable! I would have been fuming OP!

However, it may not be too late, and you could still write to complain, stating that even though you accepted what you were offered at the time, you only did so in order to try and salvage, what was supposed to be a very special evening, but on reflection you are still extremely angry about what happened, and most of all by the way you were treated by the first manager. Tell them that this is not the sort of service you expect in an establishment such as theirs, and will not be using them in the future, or recommending them to friends and family.

Then with any luck, they'll come back and offer you a complete freebie, to try and regain your custom. Failing that, post what happened on FaceBook, as this would certainly put me off going there. They may then contact you and ask you to take it down if they give you a freebie.

I'd stick two fingers up at them.

B for me

O would have done exactly what you did. I don't think they will stop them filming it's free publicity for the restaurant. But if I read a review saying there was a couple filming that would put me off.

I would have asked the manager if they checked the footage themselves.
Then
insisted you were deleted and moved to another table.

But tbh I would have asked the other diners not to point their camera at me in the first place.

Absolutely. And that free advertising would be scathing hahaha.

I'd have dodged my way around the camera and told them straight in no uncertain terms from a blind spot. Then if they carried on I'd be shielding my face with a menu and making sure staff intervened. Next would be me going around the back of the camera and physically removing it without damaging it. Fucking ridiculous and some people are not okay being videoed while eating - plus without consent! Cheeky fuckers

I'm sorry your special occasion was spoiled, OP.

The restaurant handled things incredibly badly. I'd be inclined to make a complaint in writing. Maybe it will stop them doing the same to someone else in future.

I would have done all three - shocked restaurant did not stop them.

B
But complain off camera, when they weren't actually filming.

Then C. Not complain as such ti staff, but Ask to be moved tables.