Being filmed by another diner in a fancy restaurant

[Changedmymindtoday22]

Here is the scenario.
I went to a very fancy restaurant this week.
A couple at the next table were very keen on filming every move they made on their phones, fine.
Next thing… they whip it out a tripod in the restaurant and place their phone to film themselves enjoying their meal.
The camera is also pointing at me.

They take the camera and I can see that I am also (unnecessarily captured) by the angle they were shooting.
They proceeded to do this 3 times, for a couple of minutes at a time.

WWYD in this situation?

A. Say nothing?
B. Ask couple to stop?
C. complain to fancy restaurant staff?

I did one of the 3, but am genuinely torn about what the best thing to do in this rather bizarre situation that made me quite uncomfortable.

I will share what happened next once I gauge opinions.

Scott’s?! Although I can’t see them allowing anyone whip out a tripod.

I think while YWNBU and it would have marred my evening too, at least they made it up to you with champagne. That first manager really should have known better, however. I’d probably have mentioned to her at the end that you’d have expected a little more discretion.

Scott’s?! Although I can’t see them allowing anyone whip out a tripod.

tbh all the fancy places i've eaten at (and it has been a lot either due to work or my hobby of eating in fancy places with my DH) have not allowed photographs or filming at all.

So it wasn't that fancy. Perhaps that's what you should write on your review, OP, and in your complaint email. It thinks it's fancy, but it's not because it allows this behaviour without a murmur.

To be honest I'm not sure how else you expected it to go? You made a complaint and the manager came over to personally rectify the situation. What did you want him to do, tiptoe and whisper?

If you wanted it to be discreet then you should have gone with option B. A simple "Hi I'm not comfortable being filmed could you just make sure I'm not in your video please" would have been fine.

Next time go to Claridges, OP. They have a strict no-photography policy in the public areas of the hotel.

I would find this very intrusive on a special night out when I was spending a lot of money for an exceptional meal and experience. Id raise it with the waiter who I would expect to take it to the manager on duty to discreetly and effectively sort out.

Complain to the managers boss. The couple should have had express permission to film and you should have been warned in advance (most likely via a sign as you entered) that by going past that point you were likely to be filmed. You did not agree to this. They need to brush up on their understanding of the rules for commercial filmmaking and the managers boss owes you an apology.

What a horrible experience when you are out for a nice meal - I actually feel mortified reading your posts.

You are not being used unreasonable to feel miffed.

I would definitely complain via email to the restaurant.

The diners were obviously at fault but for a staff member to be so tactless and draw attention to you like that is very poor.

I think I would be wanting a complimentary meal before I would return there and even then I’d probably not even bother to go back!

I was just about to post the same. No truly fancy restaurant would allow this due to the nature of their clientele, politicians, royalty, very senior business execs, and the mega rich, and celebrities, rather than slebs.

Name and shame the restaurant, you were there to enjoy your meal, not trying to dodge wannabe influencers. They spoiled your evening, and the manager behaved atrociously.

I've been in similar situations as wait staff and including people filming, and had to ask them to stop whatever it is they're doing.
First question? "Has someone complained?" Because me asking them to behave in a civilised manner that doesn't impact on other people isn't seen generally as worth complying with, and the second question if you confirm someone has complained is "Who?"followed by an argument because you won't tell them. Or if you deny a complaint "Well I'm not stopping then because I'm not bothering anyone". In this situation, from the side of the restaurant, only one thing is certain, you're going to end up with at least one set of unhappy customers and at least one shitty review no matter what you do.

That said I don't think the manager handled it particularly well, I'd have spoken to them but there was always the chance they would argue the toss and kick off, making a poor atmosphere for everyone else (and these types of people know exactly what they're doing) or work out it was a table near them anyway. And I'd have offered to move you, you shouldn't have to because you're not the one causing the issue here, but it would be the simplest solution where potential conflict was the lowest and therefore reducing the chance of completely ruining the evening for everyone.

Unfortunately it's a symptom of a society that is populated with people who are incredibly self centered and sometimes something that you have to deal with when being around other people.

Have a look on youtube, particularly at travel videos. They are full of bystanders and other diners. If you go to popular places you are probably already on there in someone's video and just don't know it. I agree it isn't OK to whip out a tripod put being filmed is a risk you take going out in public.

I’d ask for the manager and then ask to move tables away from being filmed. I would want to check the footage myself to ensure I wasn’t on film if this wasn’t possible then the footage should be deleted from the device and the cloud.

C but now seeing that the result wasn’t handled very well at all, an honest factual, not emotional as has already been said, review on trip advisor where they can respond or not on a public forum. An email to them could be ignored or not given proper response.

My friend and I had this in a spa hotel, by the pool where we were in swimwear. We were filmed in the background, while a glamorous (sort of)woman pouted for the camera.

We did the opposite, tried to get closer in shot (and believe me we did not add to the glamorous feel that the couple were aiming for!). They stopped quite quickly 😂

C.

And asked to be moved to another table.

I wouldn't have felt comfortable either.

Get in even closer and start gurning!

I would have chosen C too but I would not have expected that outcome.

What is the name of the restaurant?

That is outrageous.

I’d have gone with Option D which was to get up to go to the loo and “accidentally “ knock over their tripod 😁

If they do not address her concerns after she emails them, she needs to just up and out the restaurant and leave a review stating what happens. Then MNers can visit the review site and explain how they are hesitant to eat at such a high-end restaurant when they allow such behavior that is more fitting to (insert blase chain restaurant here).

I would be royally teed-off to be spending that kind of money and having my privacy and enjoyment invaded by twats who felt the need to prove that they ate there. (Who wants to bet they asked for a discount in exchange for exposure?)

😂@HeartBrokenWife 👍🏻

I can guarantee that it wasn't the Ritz - there is no way that anyone's enjoyment would be spoilt in that manner.

@8misskitty8 Just because something hasn't ever happened to you before, doesn't mean it's never happened to anyone! That's not how life works....🙄

I use to live abroad in a location very popular with tourists and influencers. I would often leave my apartment building and find people filming themselves outside my building. It got to the stage where I gave up trying to avoid them and if me and my kids were in the background ruining their shot, so be it. I was once asked if I could move out of shoot, on my own steps. Let’s just say, by the end of my rant they were very apologetic.

Thank you! If it happened to me and I got no help from management, I'd name the restaurant in a New York minute and ask MNers to give their opinion on the website. If a fancy restaurant wants to act like a local slop-shop in dealing with their customers who are paying a lot for a positive experience, they can also take the feedback and flak.