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Original poster

Being filmed by another diner in a fancy restaurant

284 replies

Changedmymindtoday22 · 04/07/2023 22:46

Here is the scenario.
I went to a very fancy restaurant this week.
A couple at the next table were very keen on filming every move they made on their phones, fine.
Next thing… they whip it out a tripod in the restaurant and place their phone to film themselves enjoying their meal.
The camera is also pointing at me.

They take the camera and I can see that I am also (unnecessarily captured) by the angle they were shooting.
They proceeded to do this 3 times, for a couple of minutes at a time.

WWYD in this situation?

A. Say nothing?
B. Ask couple to stop?
C. complain to fancy restaurant staff?

I did one of the 3, but am genuinely torn about what the best thing to do in this rather bizarre situation that made me quite uncomfortable.

I will share what happened next once I gauge opinions.

OP posts:
bloomtoperish · 05/07/2023 07:09

I'm a member of a health club that's part of a hotel, it's not even that posh but sometimes you get guests filming themselves in the pool. They will walk around in the water with the phone in their hand, one even went into the steam room but had to open the door to film themselves when they realised the poor visibility inside 😆

A few times women set up their phone on the side of the pool to film themselves swimming, of course everyone else doing laps also is on film.

What bloody idiots these people are.

wildfirewonder · 05/07/2023 07:16

bloomtoperish · 05/07/2023 07:09

I'm a member of a health club that's part of a hotel, it's not even that posh but sometimes you get guests filming themselves in the pool. They will walk around in the water with the phone in their hand, one even went into the steam room but had to open the door to film themselves when they realised the poor visibility inside 😆

A few times women set up their phone on the side of the pool to film themselves swimming, of course everyone else doing laps also is on film.

What bloody idiots these people are.

This should be banned by the hotel, it is so intrusive.

LunaLula83 · 05/07/2023 07:16

I hope you found a way to ruin their shot. I find hiding a middle finger proves to be effective

Zonder · 05/07/2023 07:20

I'm shocked at the response of the restaurant. I once took a photo of our table at a very fancy place and the waiter quietly told me I wasn't being very discreet so I put the camera away.

Original poster
Changedmymindtoday22 · 05/07/2023 07:20

Not the Ivy, think 5 star very exclusive hotel. a hot spot for celebs, but not trendy, more elegant.
they were not paid influencers, just behaving like muppets.

OP posts:
Zonder · 05/07/2023 07:21

wildfirewonder · 05/07/2023 07:16

This should be banned by the hotel, it is so intrusive.

Show quote history

Yes. And also a safeguarding issue if any children are present.

Zonder · 05/07/2023 07:21

Changedmymindtoday22 · 05/07/2023 07:20

Not the Ivy, think 5 star very exclusive hotel. a hot spot for celebs, but not trendy, more elegant.
they were not paid influencers, just behaving like muppets.

Ritz?

DappledThings · 05/07/2023 07:22

I don't get why you felt embarrassed or humiliated. You made a reasonable complaint, there's no shame in doing so so no shame in anyone knowing you had done.

doorstopper123 · 05/07/2023 07:23

Surely it's obvious that it's you who is complaining so i think you need to speak with them directly not via a waiter

topnoddy · 05/07/2023 07:26

Or
D got up and walked out

doorstopper123 · 05/07/2023 07:27

What a pair of
Total bellends

Astsjakksmso · 05/07/2023 07:27

Changedmymindtoday22 · 05/07/2023 07:20

Not the Ivy, think 5 star very exclusive hotel. a hot spot for celebs, but not trendy, more elegant.
they were not paid influencers, just behaving like muppets.

Hot spot for celebs?
Surely they'd all over it in that case, celebs value their privacy.
Or maybe they didn't care because you were in the pleb area?

Original poster
Changedmymindtoday22 · 05/07/2023 07:29

I would never have asked the couple to stop, it’s not my job to confront strangers in a restaurant or create possible conflict with another table. We were paying enough to assume that the hotel would have been more on the ball and discreet.
My issue now lies with the manager whom has zero tact. Not the tripod muppets.

OP posts:
Original poster
Changedmymindtoday22 · 05/07/2023 07:30

@Astsjakksmso I am yes just a regular pleb 😂 no visible celebs from what I could see

OP posts:
Emmamoo89 · 05/07/2023 07:31

C

Mikimoto · 05/07/2023 07:34

Not sure how "fancy" this restaurant was, if they allowed this...
And certainly not if any "celebs" ever visited it. Unless they were D-listers in need of the publicity.

Sillybeagle · 05/07/2023 07:34

Were they still filming when the manager came over to tell them about your complaint? I’d be more worried they’d use this on TikTok as a way to get more views.

I’ve seen it on there a few times with influencers doing the wide-eyed innocent ‘omg they complained but we’re not doing anything.’ And then the poor sod who quite rightfully complained and who happens to be female gets labelled the disgusting ‘Karen’ term by their followers. Hopefully not the case for you.

MinnieGirl · 05/07/2023 07:36

Changedmymindtoday22 · 05/07/2023 07:29

I would never have asked the couple to stop, it’s not my job to confront strangers in a restaurant or create possible conflict with another table. We were paying enough to assume that the hotel would have been more on the ball and discreet.
My issue now lies with the manager whom has zero tact. Not the tripod muppets.

And that is exactly what I would be saying in an email to the hotel.
You spend a lot of money in their hotel to celebrate a very special occasion, and it was off putting to see you had been caught on camera by the muppets, but the response from the manager was appalling. You were made to feel dreadful and he spoilt your evening. You can acknowledge the second manager, but also point out that you are going to leave a bad review unless this can be sorted satisfactorily.

Brefugee · 05/07/2023 07:36

C. And any manager that started to talk so the couple could hear would have been stopped and asked to bring their boss.

I often think the thing here is like twats who insist on blocking your view at gigs to film the whole thing: sing loudly out of tune very close to their device. Extra points if you're singing a completely different song.

Restaurant equivalent would have been talking so they could hear, and chewing with my mouth open or something. Every time the camera pointed in my direction.

But i would have been a lot lot firmer with the restaurant management about it. A lot firmer.

Dryinginthesea · 05/07/2023 07:38

I would have just asked the waiter to move you to another table. I wouldn’t have even complained, just pointed out what was happening and ask to be moved.

in my local pub over Christmas there was a big group next to where I usually sit who were very noisy. Manager came over to me- said he had another table for me if I wanted it, I said yes- he carried our drinks over, I picked up my handbag and we moved. I don’t know why you would think it was such hassle- but 15 second move rather than sitting through the rest of a disturbed meal is surely worth doing?

Begonne · 05/07/2023 07:42

I think you should put an honest and factual review of your experience on tripadvisor. Keep it emotionally neutral for maximum effect.

This kind of thing works both ways - if you’re watching the influencers video, it’s advertising for the restaurant and that sort of story telling can be compelling.

But if I read a review of that on tripadvisor I’d think twice about going there because I’m camera shy. This is the kind of information tripadvisor is brilliant for, and why I check it. People who feel differently will still be happy to go.

Restaurants are entitled to choose which way to go on an issue like this, and so are consumers.

PeachesOnTheBeaches · 05/07/2023 07:45

I really really really dislike this world of filming every move and curating this picture perfect image on socials to aid making others feel shit about their own lives.

If you feel shit about your own life because of social media then that is a problem with your life, not theirs.

Ghostgirl77 · 05/07/2023 07:45

I’d have done my utmost to ruin their video but pointing and laughing at them in the background but I’m a bit petty like that!

Brefugee · 05/07/2023 07:46

also it would have helped if you'd asked for their instagram (or whatever) handle so you could check what actually was uploaded. Then you could complain to the host and ask for the video to be taken down.

Tyrionapproach · 05/07/2023 07:47

Never mind an email, TripAdvisor is your friend here if you'd like to give the restaurant a forthright review.....

I don't know where you are but my understanding was that those vacuistas, sorry "influencers" should have asked your permission so you could refuse. And personally I'd have approached them directly to pack it in. They're lucky they didn't get a smack in the gob, smart restaurant or not (by which I presume you mean overpriced, miniscule portions, and a bit pretentious?)

Sounds like the manager handled it very badly too and needs a bit of conflict resolution handling. Bet she'd have acted differently if you were a big burly bloke and the same goes for the flooncers. I'm personally utterly sick of this culture of people feeling they have to record every minute of their existence however much it inconveniences others. Hope you get it resolved.