DH just shouted at me for putting on deodorant due to 'irrating his lungs'!?

[pinkskies110]

I just got an ear full from DH because I had the audacity to have a late evening shower (I was tending to my toddler and didn't have time during the day). I put on deodorant in the bedroom and he was in bed and had a right go at me for this saying that the smell from the deodrant and steam from the shower (!) really affects his breathing and irritates his lungs. He made a big show of coughing and opening the windows and said I was selfish for having a shower so late.

I had a go back because I find this SO unreasonable. Who had have a go at someone for simply having a shower and putting on deodorant!?

AIBU?

Does he shower and use deodorant?

If yes, tell him to shut up.

Massive YABU.
Deodorants indoors are huge irritants to many people.
Use a roll-on.

Was it spray deodorant? I had to ask my DH to stop using it and use a roll on j stead as unfortunately it kept triggering my asthma even if I went in the room awhile after

But I didn't have a go at him, we had a reasonable conversation and tried a few different things before coming to the conclusion it wasnt working

And honestly I would expect the cold air to irritate his lungs more than steam from the shower but i suppose it depends on his lung issues (if he has any)

I fucking HATE when DH puts deodorant on in the bedroom.

It's strong, dry, makes me cough, makes my throat dry.

It's fucking horrible being suddenly subjected to it.

Im with your DH on this one.

Mmm, was it a spray? They make me really wheezy. If not, then he was being very unreasonable.

You said he was in bed so yes I can see why he’d be annoyed at you spraying deodorant in there.

Certain deodorants or household sprays in an enclosed area can cause me to have respiratory problems . So yes you are being unreasonable

Well i wouldnt have a go at my spouse. But i would expect him to buy a roll on deoderant, which he did. If he uses a spray, he does it on a different floor to me and ventilates.
spray deoderant triggers my asthma and has caused some pretty severe attacks.

Does he have asthma?

No one in our house uses spray deodorant because Dd has it (also better for the environment not to).

You really notice it when you go elsewhere and someone does spray it when you don’t use it at home. That said, if he has showers and uses deodorant at other times, then it’s unreasonable of him to complain about your timing.

Yep- spray used to make me cough too. It was banned from child’s college for exactly that reason

I literally have to leave the room when DP puts spray deodorant on. It really makes me cough. I hate it. So yes, YABU but there’s no need for either of you to “have a go” at each other.

Sorry but it is extremely rude to spray string scents near people who are relaxing or eating etc. Maybe if everyone is getting ready but otherwise very inconsiderate.

I leave the room to apply deodorant.

Oh no I wouldn’t like breathing in spray deodorant.

If it stops your armpits sweating, imagine what it could do to the inside of your lungs. Roll on all the way.

I didn't know you put deodorant on before bed. I use it in the morning or after a shower before going out.

It does my head in when things are sprayed when I'm trying to sleep, it's almost like the smell amplifies and it's all you can taste.

I always close a door or put deodorant on in another room if my DH is in bed.

Yup. Another one who insisted my DH stopped using spray deodorant in the bedroom and switch to roll on. It was awful when he would spray it early morning or late at night and leave me coughing and spluttering as he waltzed off to work or a night out.

Yes it was spray x

Sorry but I agree with other comments. We can't use spray deodorants because I can hardly breathe when they are used. I also can't have spray room scent. It's odd you're only just finding out about this. I had to tell dh when we were dating.

Ummm...everyone else aside, has this ever been mentioned to you before OP or is it a suddenly tonight thing?

Im guessing if he does have recognised asthma etc etc you didnt just suddenly buy a spray to piss him off. Today. Suddenly. After spending long enough together to get married.

Is this the first you've heard of his problems? If so then no, YANBU and he was very U to have a go. He could easily have said 'Would you mind spraying elsewhere in future, please'. That needs no effort and costs nothing.

Spray deodorant is awful. YABU.

Deodorant before getting into bed?

how he reacted is a problem, he shouldn’t scold you or berate you, he should communicate his dislike for it in a respectful way

It's not before bed or before going out.

You put deodorant on after a shower. That could be 10pm or 4am. It doesn't matter. It's on fresh clean pits.
So if you shower before bed, you deodorise before bed too.

I would have no time for such dramatics, OP.
YANBU.