DH just shouted at me for putting on deodorant due to 'irrating his lungs'!?

[pinkskies110]

I just got an ear full from DH because I had the audacity to have a late evening shower (I was tending to my toddler and didn't have time during the day). I put on deodorant in the bedroom and he was in bed and had a right go at me for this saying that the smell from the deodrant and steam from the shower (!) really affects his breathing and irritates his lungs. He made a big show of coughing and opening the windows and said I was selfish for having a shower so late.

I had a go back because I find this SO unreasonable. Who had have a go at someone for simply having a shower and putting on deodorant!?

AIBU?

Spray deodorants make me cough and they stink out a room, sorry.

No-aerosol all the way

I must say my husband's deodorant really irritates me and makes me cough.

Yabu

I have asked my DH not to spray on deodorant in the bedroom as it makes it hard to breath. I thought I was being weird, so it's a relief to know that I'm not the only one!

He shouldn't have shouted at you though, that's not a great communication style.

Unreasonable - unless he has asthma/bronchiectasis, etc.

I really struggle when DH does this. He knows to stay in the ensuite and open the window. I'll admit I've shrieked in the past - I find the sudden constriction of my airways as the spray hits the back of my throat really scary and it's so easily avoided with some peace and extra ventilation.

I can only use roll on/scented creams etc. I never use any sprays, so do encourage those near me to avoid them too.

@ImAvingOops

You've obviously lucky enough not to be with someone when they've had an asthma attack in real life then due to many things including deodorant sprays

Saying people are like delicate flowers when they've got medical issues triggered by things like that's abit shitty isn't it.

Would you say the same about kids with peanut allergies?

You’re asking in the wrong place here op. People here die of wretching and coughing if they’re near someone who happened to wear a scented pad 3 years ago.

i could not be fucked with a dramatic husband and especially one who had a go at me! Fuck that!

Before you you do that, have another late night shower and don't use deodorant and see what he says. This is more than deodorant. People seem to be missing the other bit

I get a bit irritated when DH puts his spray deodorant on in the bathroom just before I have to go in there and get ready, I don't have asthma but good god, it get right in the back of your throat!

I don't have a go at him though, but I have told him how much I hate the spray deodorant. If he sprayed it in the bedroom while I was in bed I'd be really annoyed!

This

One more vote against spray deodorant and in fact most “spray” things including my fave fragrance…. I hate the suddenness and ferocity of a spray and my “space” feels so invaded.
I have no lung issues that I know of.
HOWEVER… if if knew this was a problem for him, he was definitely unreasonable not to have previously had a calm convo with you, to request you to be mindful of the potential irritation.
Sounds like he knew his problem, put up with it historically, then because you’re not a mind reader, he exploded.
Has he form for letting things build up, and then acting apoplectic?
Just wait til you’ve both had a decent sleep,,and tell him that in future, would he be considerate enough to chat to you about ANY possible prob, to avoid the outcome you witnessed with the shower thing.

@wtfisgoingonhere21 the OP doesn't say he has asthma though. And if he does, he can ask her not to spray deodorant. He's just being a twat and picking a fight, whinging about steam ffs!
Not at all comparable to a child with a peanut allergy!

I have a lung disease that went undiagnosed for years and some sprays in particular deodorant and dry shampoo genuinely would irritate and burn my lungs and I could look like I "made a big show" of coughing and moving to fresh air, thankfully dh doesn't spray deodorant in the bedroom and if he did forget and spray any when I was in bathroom, he knew my coughing wasn't a show, wider family call me dramatic sometimes if I start spluttering and wheezing when I get a lung full of secondhand vape cloud or mil gets the air freshener out.

You don't need to replace your deodorant, just don't spray it around your husband and maybe ventilate.

If you knew what spray deodorants do to yoyr body you wouldn't use them.

A teenager was so worried he might smell that he sprayed deodorants on himself all the time. He went through 17 cans in a small number of days and died.
Your DH is right, YABU.

I've banned DH from spraying deodorant in the bedroom;it's really strong and I find it hard to breath;I have to leave the room.

I've asked him to use it in the bathroom when he's alone.

I'm also with your DH on this one.

You probably stunk the room. I'm with your husband. Spray deodorants are horrible. Hope you've opened a few windows.

Totally with your DH on this one. Really inconsiderate of you to spray it in the bedroom. You must already know he hates it. Horrible stuff.

If you actually bothered to read the thread, you’d see the issue isn’t about hygiene

My husband is asthmatic so I put deodorant on in the bathroom with the window open.

Your DH did over react though

I'm on the fence. If OP knows it would set them off after being together long enough to get married, fair dinkum. If not, how the heck was she to know and why did it need a theatre performance?

We'd been married 15 years before my lung issues started. It could very much look like I suddenly started being dramatic and because I "look" healthy some people think I'm lying.

I didn't even get taken seriously by my gp until I started coughing up blood, I'm autistic and I kind of think when I started complaining that things like some perfumes or air freshener would feel like it's burning got lumped in "sensory issues" when it wasn't.

Aerosol deodorant is awful. I can't bare breathing it in.
I also don't put deodorant on to go to bed. I like to allow my skin to breath. Do other people?

I'm another one boggling at deodorant before bed. There's really no need. And spray deodorants are noxious.

I don't have asthma or any other lung/breathing problems. I don't like breathing in deodorant

Yabu. Spraying deodorant or perfume in the same room near others is just nasty.