DH just shouted at me for putting on deodorant due to 'irrating his lungs'!?

[pinkskies110]

I just got an ear full from DH because I had the audacity to have a late evening shower (I was tending to my toddler and didn't have time during the day). I put on deodorant in the bedroom and he was in bed and had a right go at me for this saying that the smell from the deodrant and steam from the shower (!) really affects his breathing and irritates his lungs. He made a big show of coughing and opening the windows and said I was selfish for having a shower so late.

I had a go back because I find this SO unreasonable. Who had have a go at someone for simply having a shower and putting on deodorant!?

AIBU?

YABU, if one of us is in bed then myself/ DH will put deodorant on in the bathroom/another room as it’s extremely irritating and causes breathing issues.

It doesn’t say he shouted at the OP. It said “earful” and “had a go” which can be done at a normal volume. Spray deodorant is well known to cause even people without asthma to cough, so not likely it was “performance coughing”.

There’s the stick too. You can even get refillable stick deodorants these days.

I hate spray deodorant. It would also never occur to me to put on any deodorant after a shower if I was going to bed.

It was wrong of him to shout at you but huge amounts of spray deodorant do irritate my lungs and trigger my asthma. I normally just get out of the room if someone is using...maybe next time so it in another room? I use spray deodorant but so a quick little spray and i.e. husband uses a lot, holding onto the can dispenser for a few seconds...

@Starhead69

I’m confused why you would put deodorant on after having a shower.

When would you put it on?

Spray deodorants have also been known to trigger fire alarms when used in office toilets. My last workplace asked people to stop using them for this reason.

This. Bizarre that you would spray deodorant in a room where someone is in bed. Use the bathroom.

As someone who gets instant head pain from strong smells such as deodorants, perfumes, aftershaves and air fresheners, my husband has been spraying his deodorant on in different rooms to me for the 19 years we have been together. He also only wears aftershaves that he knows don't hurt me. We use air fresheners and cleaning products that don't cause me pain or breathing problems. Apparently, the man I love thinks that he shouldn't be doing anything that causes his wife harm.

Because he gives a shit.

YABU.

I'm with your DH on this one. deodorant makes me cough like mad so I always do it in the bathroom with the window wide open and close the door after I'm finished

I used to work in a school and spray deodorants weren’t allowed in the changing precisely because they can affect people’s breathing.

I’m asthmatic and can remember only too well my mums hairspray when I was a child. It really is horrible.

Spray deodorant is horrible - I always feel like my tongue is coated with it. However, I avoid pretty much all aerosols as air fresheners, body spray, hairspray, etc all make me gag.

Yes it was in the school where I worked - which led to the boys (why boys? I don't know but it always was) getting their Lynx deodorant out in the classroom and spraying it liberally about. I had relatively severe asthma and used to ask them not to, explain why, tell them off, had to take my relief inhaler - all to no avail. Apparently it was really funny if I was ill and my health didn't matter. Really selfish - still makes me angry today and I left 8 years ago.

He's being unreasonable about the shower but not about spraying deodorant in the room when he's asleep. I hate my DH does this

Oh fuck off it's not performance coughing.

How do you know? OP is in a better position to say than you

Spray deoderant makes me sneeze however I would simply mention it and not shout.

There seem to be a lot of 'shouty' DHs around today.

My last workplace asked people to stop using them for this reason.

So did mine so people just sprayed them in the shared open-plan office space. When I complained (I get really bad headaches) I was basically met with roll-eyes.
One of the many reasons I will never work in an office again.

I've a lung condition and heart condition and one of the possibilities they have given ke for my heart issue is aerosols because i used to spray then all over me ridiculously. Breathing these chemicals in can have a really bad effect on people, tho i didn't know that when I was doing it. You should have sprayed in a separate room with a window open, I'm afraid your husband is right for going mad.

If it was a spray deodorant then I would have decamped to the spare room after having opened all the windows and taken the evil spray outside and dumped it in the wheelie bin!

use spray or stick deodorant?
do you only have an ensuite, or is there a separate bathroom?

I find spray deodorant an irritant too, it makes me cough and makes my nose itch. I’d be extremely unhappy if dh came into the bedroom when I was in bed and sprayed it. Apart from the irritancy, the smell lingers and strong smells really get to me.
Surely there’s no need to use it in the bedroom, you can use it in the bathroom after your shower. My dc uses spray, only in the bathroom but that’s bad enough- we can smell it downstairs!
Aerosol deodorants are really not healthy- have a look online. Roll-on, stick or cream are better. A PitRok works for me but some people don’t like it. You do have to have clean exfoliated pits for it to work well.

I commented on the thread a while back, but didn't realise quite how many people feel as strong as I do about it.

I always thought I was in a small minority to really hate spray deodorants and find them so bad for my breathing – I do have asthma – And it's really heartening to see how many other people hate them so much.

I'm always amazed how many people will spray them so liberally and unthinkingly in swimming pool, changing rooms

I really do wish they were banned!

This!!

I'm not a huge fan of spray on deodorant but that is completely beside the point.

No decent partner starts a shouting match over something like this. A reasonable person just says "Hey, do you mind just spraying that in the bathroom?". You don't start screaming and shouting like a fucking child.