DH just shouted at me for putting on deodorant due to 'irrating his lungs'!?

[pinkskies110]

I just got an ear full from DH because I had the audacity to have a late evening shower (I was tending to my toddler and didn't have time during the day). I put on deodorant in the bedroom and he was in bed and had a right go at me for this saying that the smell from the deodrant and steam from the shower (!) really affects his breathing and irritates his lungs. He made a big show of coughing and opening the windows and said I was selfish for having a shower so late.

I had a go back because I find this SO unreasonable. Who had have a go at someone for simply having a shower and putting on deodorant!?

AIBU?

Yes, because my asthma was adult onset. I didn’t have the problem when I met him.

No spray Deodorant in the bedroom in our house, team DH

I am actually so glad to read this thread op! I thought I was a weirdo! Spray deodorant triggers awful headaches for me and makes me feel rotten. I hate it when the kids get given lynx for Christmas!

I understand that and I’d also want to minimise it.

My DH now gets up before me on a workday. He used to get up, go to the bathroom, come back into the bedroom and put on his deodorant / get dressed. It pissed me off every morning because the aerosol would set me off coughing. He now keeps the deodorant in the bathroom!

Aerosol deodorants are irritants, especially those 'dry' ones. It was really unreasonable of you to spray it in the bedroom. You owe him an apology rather than stropping off like a teenager,

As it was spray YABU.

YABU to use a spray deodorant. It is very irritating. How hard is it to switch to a roll on?

I didn't think anybody really bought spray ons now.

@pinkskies110

There are some good roll ins you use at night that work well so you don't smell the next day.

Around £6-£7 in Tesco and sainsburys but by far better for the environment your health and everyone else in the room

All of my teens have these roll ins and although dh chooses to use deodorant sprays he's banned from doing it upstairs in the house and when he does it downstairs he opens the door to air it out.

It really really does make me cough as well as the dc.

I am with your DH here. Spray deodorants are horrific and make me feel ill, and I start coughing. God knows what’s in them - I’m sure they can’t be good for you.

I also feel like I can't breathe when a spray has been used. Added to that the aerosols must be so bad for the enviroment and a roll on works just as well.

Members of my household are easily irritated by aerosols, some have asthma too. I always shut the bathroom door, window open for washing and apply deodorant in there too, with the open windows. It’s considerate

I don't think there is any need to shout about it but my dh used to use a particular spray deodorant and if he used it in the same room as me I would have coughed to the point of feeling sick. So I wouldn't spray one in the same room as someone. Sounds like he was unreasonable to shout but you could have been a bit more considerate.

You could have done it when you were in the bathroom.

Maybe it’s just me but I wouldn’t put deodorant on if I was going to bed!

I worked in an office where a guy would get ready to go home, then spray on deodorant, contorting himself to spray under his shirt.
Then walk out and leave the cloud of spray behind. Omg. Thank god for working from home.

I prefer the waxy deodorant, I buy men's coz it smells nicer and it's cheaper. I think they are bigger too.
Grey sure I think.

I mean tbf my asthma developed over a decade into my marriage

that said he shouldnt be stomping around shouting at her he should just be letting her know

The worst asthma attacks I've ever had are from spray deodorant. I feel sorry for your DH. It's quite scary when your lungs tighten and you can;t stop coughing. Chuck that brand away and buy a roll on.

Exactly this!

MN seems to have an over abundance of delicate people who can't cope with completely normal things, like using deodorant.
I doubt the OP sprayed it in his face!
YANBU from me. Not least because of his reaction. Having a shower is entirely normal - maybe he can take care of the toddler tomorrow so you get your shower earlier, if he is such a delicate flower that he cannot cope with steam!

I get the spray deodorant part, I use roll on due to allergies and asthma, but why was he moaning about the shower?
Is it an en suite so steam going into the bedroom?

I am a late night shower person, always every night! But I’d never spray deodorant in the bedroom at bed time. I’d do it in the main bathroom after shower. I hate when deodorant is sprayed in the bedroom at night 😷

Fair enough, but I'm imagining a conversation was had following diagnosis that mentioned common triggers and you both worked together?

I'm really struggling to see a scenario where this was an utter shock.