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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH just shouted at me for putting on deodorant due to 'irrating his lungs'!?

170 replies

pinkskies110 · 18/04/2023 22:04

I just got an ear full from DH because I had the audacity to have a late evening shower (I was tending to my toddler and didn't have time during the day). I put on deodorant in the bedroom and he was in bed and had a right go at me for this saying that the smell from the deodrant and steam from the shower (!) really affects his breathing and irritates his lungs. He made a big show of coughing and opening the windows and said I was selfish for having a shower so late.

I had a go back because I find this SO unreasonable. Who had have a go at someone for simply having a shower and putting on deodorant!?

AIBU?

OP posts:
Regularcoke · 18/04/2023 23:54

I can't breathe when my DH sprays his deodorant in our room which is why he sprays it in his bathroom. I have asthma and hayfever and CANNOT stop coughing and wheezing when it is sprayed in the bedroom. I use roll on Wouldn't take much to accommodate him and spray it elsewhere.

Threeboysadogandacat · 19/04/2023 00:02

We can’t use spray deodorants as they really irritate dh’s lungs. Roll on only.

KimberleyClark · 19/04/2023 00:04

HABU if it’s a spray. Use a roll on or a stick.

Aquamarine1029 · 19/04/2023 00:05

I'm amazed that spray deodorants are even still made. They should be banned imo. Fucking horrible and they very much bother my throat/lungs.

PollyPut · 19/04/2023 00:24

He might be allergic to a component of your deodorant. They can affect breathing ( personal experience here).

He shouldn't shout but you need to take him seriously as allergies are serious. Especially if he can't breathe.

I'd try a lesser-perfumed deodorant; definitely in another room.

suzyscat · 19/04/2023 07:41

I'm with DH on this.

I always used to get shouted at as a teen for using spray and now I am that person. My chest feels awful when DP uses his and I can't be in the same room till it dissipates - or even just outside.

Hubblebubble · 19/04/2023 07:44

I'm so glad I'm single. If sharing living space with another adult means you can't even have a shower and pop on some deodorant when you like, no thanks!

Prometheus · 19/04/2023 07:44

I had no idea people put deodorant on before going to bed!!

Hubblebubble · 19/04/2023 07:45

I'm sure if OPs husband had dehabillitating asthma she wouldve been aware. He just sounds like a shout grump.

Sissynova · 19/04/2023 07:46

I find putting on aerosol deodorant while in the same room as someone else really antisocial, particularly when they have to sleep there.

I can’t breathe if DH does spray deodorant right beside me.

bellac11 · 19/04/2023 07:49

We dont have any sprays in this house and I think its completely inconsiderate to spray things around other people.

ArcticSkewer · 19/04/2023 07:50

Amazed spray deodorant is still legal. It's incredibly antisocial to apply it near anyone else. Let your own lungs suffer if you must.

Sirzy · 19/04/2023 07:50

Hubblebubble · 19/04/2023 07:45

I'm sure if OPs husband had dehabillitating asthma she wouldve been aware. He just sounds like a shout grump.

But it doesn’t need to be debilitating asthma for it to be an irritant.

AP5Diva · 19/04/2023 07:50

YABU
Spray deodorant is so bad that it has literally killed people with asthma or sensitivities to the chemicals in them. Usually, these people die as children from unknowingly using spray deodorant. It really should be banned.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-62078939

Giorgia Green

Dad's warning after girl, 14, dies from inhaling deodorant

Giorgia Green's parents want clearer product labelling to warn of the potential dangers.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-62078939

Sisisimone · 19/04/2023 07:51

Why on earth would you do this in the bedroom while he's trying to sleep? Why not the bathroom? So fucking rude and inconsiderate, they stink. Get a roll-on.

Sirzy · 19/04/2023 07:54

I remember a mother kicking off on children’s ward once when she was asked not to spray deodorant in a bay where 4 of the 6 children (including her own!) had been admitted with respiratory problems.

i think some people get so stuck in a rut they can’t see the impact of their behaviour on others

worktrauma101 · 19/04/2023 07:56

We've had to ban spray deodorants due it triggering an asthma attack and DS ending up in A&E.

So YABU. Stop stomping your feet about it. We all fack up sometimes

ImSweetEnoughDarlin · 19/04/2023 08:08

pinkskies110 · 18/04/2023 22:12

Yes it was spray x

Yabvu

ImAvingOops · 19/04/2023 08:11

You are all batshit crazy - I get that if you're living with an asthma sufferer you do things differently, but in everyone else's world, spray deodorants are normal things and people manage to spray them close to their faces every day without performance coughing!

Besides which, he was moaning about the steam as well. And shouting at her - a fact many of you are ignoring in your haste to stomp on this woman who has done a perfectly normal thing! When you compare behaviour he is the one coming across as an arsehole, not the woman who just wanted to go to bed clean!

Snoken · 19/04/2023 08:15

I don't think he should have shouted at you, but I am totally with your husband. I wouldn't want to sleep in a steamy room either and those spray deodorants make my throat itchy and my eyes runny. If he had told you this before but you still did it in a room he was going to sleep in I can see why he would have lost his cool with you. It's pretty inconsiderate.

worktrauma101 · 19/04/2023 08:23

ImAvingOops · 19/04/2023 08:11

You are all batshit crazy - I get that if you're living with an asthma sufferer you do things differently, but in everyone else's world, spray deodorants are normal things and people manage to spray them close to their faces every day without performance coughing!

Besides which, he was moaning about the steam as well. And shouting at her - a fact many of you are ignoring in your haste to stomp on this woman who has done a perfectly normal thing! When you compare behaviour he is the one coming across as an arsehole, not the woman who just wanted to go to bed clean!

😂

TrueScrumptious · 19/04/2023 08:23

ImAvingOops · 19/04/2023 08:11

You are all batshit crazy - I get that if you're living with an asthma sufferer you do things differently, but in everyone else's world, spray deodorants are normal things and people manage to spray them close to their faces every day without performance coughing!

Besides which, he was moaning about the steam as well. And shouting at her - a fact many of you are ignoring in your haste to stomp on this woman who has done a perfectly normal thing! When you compare behaviour he is the one coming across as an arsehole, not the woman who just wanted to go to bed clean!

Spray deodorants are not “normal things”. They’re bad for both people and the environment. This is well known. There’s an easily available alternative, the roll-on. I can’t believe spray deodorants have not been banned yet.

ImAvingOops · 19/04/2023 08:41

Lots of things are bad for the environment/people but are still used in everyday life. Your dislike of them doesn't render them not normal

Peapodburgundybouquet · 19/04/2023 08:50

Steam is good for lungs. He just wanted to have a go at you.

LoobyLobbyLou · 19/04/2023 08:52

I’m with your DH, spray stuff is awful. My ex used to do it and I got him onto roll on in the end. You could see it in the air