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Original poster

To stop doing DH's washing til he learns to wipe his arse?!

397 replies

AtTheEndOfMyWick · 22/03/2023 07:48

DH and I have a pretty even split of household chores, washing is my job as 1) he doesn't know how to do it and 2) I actually quite enjoy it (until it comes to putting clean clothes away but that's another story...)

We have 3 DC, ages 2, 4 and 6. So doing the washing for everyone is a pretty full on job. DH seems incapable of two things which make it harder for me - firstly he rarely empties his pockets, which I've warned him about so many times.

But the second thing- I have no idea how to approach with him. He has the world's worst skid marks in every single pair of boxers. I just don't understand. Our 2 eldest kids appear to be better at wiping their arsed than he is. It seems to have gotten worse in recent months and its at the point now where I'm sometimes greeted by inside out shit smeared undies when I open the laundry basket, and almost throw up.

Needless to say I've got a case of the ick and can't imagine doing anything close to sex with him as it stands. The whole thing just turns my stomach and I'm sick of it.

What do I do?! How do I approach this with him? Honestly at my wit's end.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 22/03/2023 07:50

Maybe he needs baby wipes (and a bathroom bin).

tanstaafl · 22/03/2023 07:51

Put them in a sealable bag and show him
a) the bin or
b) how to wash them.

FrenchandSaunders · 22/03/2023 07:52

Christ that’s awful 🤮.

Maybe he’s got something wrong with him?

ThePoetsWife · 22/03/2023 07:53

Gross.

Speak to him. Use your words.

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 22/03/2023 07:53

Only on Mumsnet do I read such soul destroying drivel

FrostyFifi · 22/03/2023 07:53

That is absolutely disgusting, he must reek.

Bathflom · 22/03/2023 07:54

Ew, he must know he has skids in them so the fact he's okay with leaving them for you to wash is disgusting. I suspect he isn't wiping properly, I would just say you're not okay with washing them he needs to do them himself- that's reasonable and might also give him a nudge about his hygiene. If he is washing and wiping properly and its happening he should go to the GP.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 22/03/2023 07:54

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 22/03/2023 07:53

Only on Mumsnet do I read such soul destroying drivel

Agreed.

Ilovecrumpetseveryday · 22/03/2023 07:54

Does he have a hairy bum? My dp complains it’s hard to wipe with a hairy bum. My solution to my dp is to shave/trim it. It’s grim.

FiveShelties · 22/03/2023 07:55

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 22/03/2023 07:53

Only on Mumsnet do I read such soul destroying drivel

Absolutely

Isthisexpected · 22/03/2023 07:56

I think I would feel too awful for him to say anything so would probably just buy a separate laundry basket and leave all his dirty underwear in the old one. Take everything else out and put in the new one. At some point he'll notice there's a basket full of pop and surely that'll get through to him?!

Luckydip1 · 22/03/2023 07:56

Tell him to wash his own undies until he improves his hygiene!

CarPoor · 22/03/2023 07:56

Obviously you shouldn't wash your adult husbands shitty pants

And he shouldn't be putting them in the washing basket either

Tbh I'd just chuck them out. That's so vile, has this been the case your whole relationship?

Duckingella · 22/03/2023 07:56

This why I started to refuse to do my DH's washing.

LisaD1 · 22/03/2023 07:57

Is this a new thing? If so id
suggest a Dr! If not how have you let it get to the stage you have kids together?

either way you need to speak to him, it’s a disgusting lack of respect for you and himself.

Doingmybest12 · 22/03/2023 07:57

TBH I try not to look at other people's underwear when shoving washing in the machine.
The not emptying pockets is a bug bear though.

CarPoor · 22/03/2023 07:57

Ilovecrumpetseveryday · 22/03/2023 07:54

Does he have a hairy bum? My dp complains it’s hard to wipe with a hairy bum. My solution to my dp is to shave/trim it. It’s grim.

Wash it?

I'm sorry any grown adult man can work out how to clean their arse appropriately.

Goodread1 · 22/03/2023 07:59

How the fuck doesn't he know how to wipe his own Arse ???

He can't even do his own or any of household chores ,

You are not his mother ..

Unless he has serious underlying undiagnosed health disorder,

There is no excuses for this @AtTheEndOfMyWick

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 22/03/2023 08:01

🤮 just have a conversation
Hey-I find it really offensive that you put your boxers covered in shit skids in the washing basket inside out. 1) put them the right way so that I don’t have to see/touch it 2) wipe your arse properly.

Goodread1 · 22/03/2023 08:02

What's the on earth's going on with him 🤔 to be like like this 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

I guess you must love him a lot

GrazingSheep · 22/03/2023 08:02

I’ve no idea how to approach with him.
You are well able to give a vivid description on MN. Why can’t you do the same to him?

RosaBonheur · 22/03/2023 08:03

Doingmybest12 · 22/03/2023 07:57

TBH I try not to look at other people's underwear when shoving washing in the machine.
The not emptying pockets is a bug bear though.

If you put pants in the machine covered in skids it'll get distributed evenly all over the other clothes though.

takealettermsjones · 22/03/2023 08:04

Either this is a poo troll or he's got some weird hold over you because I cannot see why you would put up with this for a matter of months. One occasion would be quite enough for me.

Xrays · 22/03/2023 08:04

Yuck. I would come at this with the (fake) angle of being concerned for him - “oh my gosh you must have been really unwell this week, I didn’t realise you had such an upset stomach, I’ve left your boxers for you to sort out” - and hope he takes the hint. If he doesn’t well then you’re going to have to ltb. Horrid.

RagingWoke · 22/03/2023 08:06

I’ve no idea how to approach with him.

'Your underwear is covered in shit and I won't be touching it'

There you go.

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