To stop doing DH's washing til he learns to wipe his arse?!

[AtTheEndOfMyWick]

DH and I have a pretty even split of household chores, washing is my job as 1) he doesn't know how to do it and 2) I actually quite enjoy it (until it comes to putting clean clothes away but that's another story...)

We have 3 DC, ages 2, 4 and 6. So doing the washing for everyone is a pretty full on job. DH seems incapable of two things which make it harder for me - firstly he rarely empties his pockets, which I've warned him about so many times.

But the second thing- I have no idea how to approach with him. He has the world's worst skid marks in every single pair of boxers. I just don't understand. Our 2 eldest kids appear to be better at wiping their arsed than he is. It seems to have gotten worse in recent months and its at the point now where I'm sometimes greeted by inside out shit smeared undies when I open the laundry basket, and almost throw up.

Needless to say I've got a case of the ick and can't imagine doing anything close to sex with him as it stands. The whole thing just turns my stomach and I'm sick of it.

What do I do?! How do I approach this with him? Honestly at my wit's end.

This is a non problem. Sealed laundry bin just for him, and don't do his washing. End of problem. Don't keep mentioning it. Complaining about how other people are, whilst repeating the same actions which make you unhappy, never helps solve anything.

Oh my god

This will end up on Mumsnet Madness in no time and probably the DM 😂😂😂

Just buy moist loo wipes! Maybe he has piles and can't wipe ferociously anymore (I've read threads where people struggle!)

Thank you! That’s exactly what I mean

I feel like I’ve entered a parallel universe on here sometimes.

A grown man, who we can presume can see, leaves his inside out shit stained underpants for his wife to wash and some people are saying be kind in case he has bowel cancer / disease.
Buy wipes or find solutions / suggestions for him.

He’s a grown man, with a job and family.
He shouldn’t need an ABC on how to wipe his arse. Or be told that leaving shit caked pants for someone else to deal with isn’t a great mark of respect.

The next time there’s a thread about reasons it’s great to be single and the ‘oh but it’s better to have any man than be alone’ brigade come along, I am linking to this thread.

The laziness and audacity of this man will take some beating as a reason to be happy alone.

You can’t imagine saying ‘shit’ out loud? 😆

God help you OP.

3 children with someone without an ounce of self respect for himself or you.

For your own self respect and for the safety of your family, leave his laundry for himself.

It would be absolutely unacceptable bacterially to be putting his underwear in with general washing.

OP, do not continue to do this laundry.

It must be very hard to view him the same🤢.

Ick doesn't come near it.

Is he constipated? Apparently with kids if they get constipated they can have poo “leak” out at other times which would look like skid marks.

This is gross btw

Take him shopping to look at bidets.

Utterly vile. An adult man should know how to clean himself. Stop doing his laundry - and tell him why.

As if anyone would post about this

We cross posted.

But yes, if it's colo-rectal cancer like my late husband's, it can cause leakage. His tumour was quite low down.

The post about taking taking a photo and confronting him with it has really upset me. Imagine if I'd done that.

This occurred to me, too. He might have a bowel problem - it may be faecal incontinence rather than inefficient wiping. However, I can't believe that he doesn't know just how filthy they are - he could at least rinse them out in the bath and clean it after he's done so.

I'd get him to go to the doctor, and tell him to rinse his drawers as well as telling him to make sure his bum is clean after he's had a bowel movement.

I'd also invest in a nappy bin for the bathroom and a shtload of Milton sterilising fluid, and tell him to sort it.

*No pun intended

Your DH need to learn how to wipe his arse properly. If wiping isn't enough then he needs to wash it after he shits. That is utterly disgusting.

How do you approach it?
"Clean your arse properly after you take a dump or I'm no longer doing your washing your underwear!"

My hubby has this but it’s because his bowel leaks when he farts. Saw the doc about it and its weakened muscles. Apparently it can happen when you get older, his doc told him to never trust a fart 🙂 he does wash his own pants , soaks them in the sink in bleach or biological washing powder to get them clean and then washes in the machine

My OH thankfully doesn’t seem to leave skid marks in his undies but is constantly leaving shit marks on his towels

Sorry this stood out to me. So he's bathing/showering and somehow washing so inadequately (after presumably previously wiping just as inadequately) that he's actually dirtying his towel?
That is horrifying. No wonder you won't sleep in the same room as him.

@saraclara is right - it can cause leakage.

So can IBS and diverticulitis.

There may well be a medical problem here, and the sooner it is checked out the better. It may well be something manageable.

I'm so sorry about your DH @saraclara . It's one of those cancers which is often hidden for long time.

I feel like I’ve entered a parallel universe on here sometimes.

A grown man, who we can presume can see, leaves his inside out shit stained underpants for his wife to wash and some people are saying be kind in case he has bowel cancer / disease.
Buy wipes or find solutions / suggestions for him.

😆 exactly this. There’s so much holier-than-thou bullshit on here. I sort of relish the total unreality of it. I’d love to have a true glimpse into the lives of the liars posters that write this tosh.

Yesterday we had people who apparently have never raised their voice in anger to a partner, nor they to them, and if you have, it means you marriage is a disaster, you’re likely both abusive drunks and you mustn’t remain together. In fact, you should probably put your children into care so they can be rehomed with a family who deserve them.

Also the ones who have never, ever driven over the speed limit.

And there’s the ones who wouldn’t dream of having a drink at home, and anything more than a sherry glass of champagne as an aperitif on Christmas Day suggests a major problem.

Absolute madness.

Now that's even more disgusting!

Why post on here rather than talking to him about it? Puzzling. Or not.

And so many of the bleeding hearts about shitty pants are totally missing the point.

Even if he does have bowel cancer/fecal incontinence/unlikely bowel condition here, why does he think it’s ok to leave his shitty keks for his wife to handle and wash?!! Total disrespect. Wise up.

Nothing else required than this ^

@gamerchick

🤷🏻‍♀️Without wanting to derail, into a debate about flushable wet toilet paper this is what Andrex says about Andrex Classic Clean Washlets:

They have been thoroughly tested to ensure that they are flushable and biodegradable. For best results flush 1-2 sheets at a time.

Just wanted to give OP a practical suggestion to help her with this problem.

That is what I would expect any thought person to do, if they are physically able to do so.

Not his fault it happens, but his responsibility to sort out.

This! But I would also be adding Or you to that sentence!

He is not embarrassed about you seeing them OP or leaving them for you to sort out so why on earth should you find it difficult to bring it up with him?

And what do you mean he doesn't know how to wash clothes? It's literally just turning a dial and pressing the start button!
How did you learn how to wash clothes?
What would he do if he was single?

Didn’t take long for the vipers to come out