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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not sure how or if to put this right

525 replies

Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 16:13

A bit of a long one here, and changed n as me so it can’t be linked back to my other posts…
Behind the housing estate where I live is a lovely big field known as the football field, all the local kids head there at the weekend for a kick about and play. It is a proper field though- not a rec or anything.

Anyway me and my boys were there a few weekends ago and there was a woman walking her dog off lead. It stopped for a shit and she carried on walking and didn’t pick it up. I shouted over and told her to pick it up, and she just carried on walking. I headed over and cut her off and told her to go and pick up her dogs mess. She told me she’d go back for it later and to mind my own business and went to walk off. I did at this point block her way (probably a mistake in retrospect) and told her kids were playing and it was disgusting. She replied that it wouldn’t be a problem if my kids stayed on the footpath and it was her field. Anyway I made her pick it up and thought that was the end of it.

anyway we went to go over there at the weekend and there is now electric fence up either side of the path, all properly signed and everything, and I’ve heard on the grapevine my neighbours are furious that the kids can’t play there anymore. Apparently a few have spoken with the lady (she does actually own it-what are the chances?) and she is saying that she felt frightened and intimidated by someone, and now doesn’t want the kids using it any more and is going to move some of her sheep in there once it’s had a ‘rest’ I think this is just an excuse to justify the fence.

she hasn’t mentioned me, but I am worried if it gets out it was me my neighbours will be really angry. Should I find her and apologise? Apparently she just heads round the field once a day with a scooper to tidy it, all my neighbours seem to think she is gods gift even doing this. Was I in the wrong? I really think I have dropped a clanger here, what should I do?

OP posts:
gillywiththedogs · 10/03/2023 10:15

HaveYouSeenNancy · 10/03/2023 10:13

I can't believe that on top of everything else, you then called her 'spiteful' to your neighbour. If she was truly spiteful she would have taken a photo of you ordering her around on her own land while you were trespassing and pinned it up on the fencing as the reason the neighbourhood kids have nowhere to play.

Also, the chances of a woman telling you she owns a field, actually owning the field are surely fairly close to 100%. I don't understand why you didn't believe her.

It's often the case that people judge others by themselves. The fact that the OP didn't believe what the woman told her about owning the field is possible telling.

britnay · 10/03/2023 10:15

@Smartieshavesomeanswers
You mention a footpath in your opening post. Is it an official footpath? If so, she cannot legally block it with fencing.

Cocobutt · 10/03/2023 10:17

Would you still only pick up in your garden once a day if you had children/grandchildren playing in it?

@Mamamia7962 This is irrelevant as we don’t know if the owner does have her children or grandchildren playing on it.

We know that she often goes around in the evenings picking up other peoples litter and dog shit.

Just because she didn’t pick it up straight away doesn’t mean she wasn’t going to in a few minutes so instead of walking around with it she can pick it up on the way back.

Someone who cleans up after other people isn’t exactly the type to not clean up after herself.

But the fact still remains that it’s her own private field and if she doesn’t want to clean her dogs shit up straight away she doesn’t have to.

Maybe the parents of the kids who she allows to play on it should be cleaning it up.

diddl · 10/03/2023 10:17

britnay · 10/03/2023 10:15

@Smartieshavesomeanswers
You mention a footpath in your opening post. Is it an official footpath? If so, she cannot legally block it with fencing.

She hasn't.

Snowsurprised · 10/03/2023 10:17

she is one of those community saints that you hear about that everyone puts on a pedestal

You do sound a bit sneery.

What have you ever done for the community? Other than lose them the use of a field?

PigeonPlayingChicken · 10/03/2023 10:21

britnay · 10/03/2023 10:15

@Smartieshavesomeanswers
You mention a footpath in your opening post. Is it an official footpath? If so, she cannot legally block it with fencing.

She hasn't blocked the footpath. The OP says the fencing is either side of the footpath. Perfectly legal.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 10/03/2023 10:21

I want to know how OP made the woman pick up, because it doesn’t look like she had a baggie.

If you are still around OP, with what did the farmer pick up the poo?

AnotherForumUser · 10/03/2023 10:22

britnay · 10/03/2023 10:15

@Smartieshavesomeanswers
You mention a footpath in your opening post. Is it an official footpath? If so, she cannot legally block it with fencing.

She didn't. She fenced off the field from the footpath. The OP:s first post says it's been fenced on either side. All they can now use is the footpath. They can't access the field anymore

chocciechocface · 10/03/2023 10:23

And sorry, my last comment on this because I am really irate ... there's a complete awareness bypass going on here...

Whoever told the OP that the farmer went around picking up litter, was trying to make a serious point. This farmer has had issues with persistent misuse of her land and has reached breaking point after insult was added to injury.

Had the people using her field picked up their own fucking litter, then maybe the fence wouldn't be there now. It makes me so angry.

The fact that the OP didn't understand what they were actually being told, and instead is snarky about the farmer being a pillar of the community, doesn't bode well for their future in this community at all.

From the farmers perspective, the OP is aggressively outraged about her allowing her own dog to poo in her own field, but indifferent to her livestock dying from plastic or vet bills being incurred to save animals. That poor woman, going around clearing up every day on top of everything else.

No wonder she put a fence up.

CovertImage · 10/03/2023 10:26

Mamamia7962 · 10/03/2023 09:21

Doesthepope - Ok so not a football play area but a private field which she allows local children to play football on. She lets her dog shit on this field and doesn't pick it up straight away. Which is fine she owns the field, but why let children play on it then if she's going to do that.

Your determination to defend the OP despite her follow up posts is risible.

It's up the the parents of the kids to not to allow them to play on someone else's property if they're worried about their safety. However, the OP no less, has said that the woman "keeps it immaculate"

Inkpotlover · 10/03/2023 10:30

britnay · 10/03/2023 10:15

@Smartieshavesomeanswers
You mention a footpath in your opening post. Is it an official footpath? If so, she cannot legally block it with fencing.

It says the fence has been erected either side of the path, which I took to mean the path is still usable as a public right of way, but the field is now out of bounds.

Inkpotlover · 10/03/2023 10:31

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 10/03/2023 10:21

I want to know how OP made the woman pick up, because it doesn’t look like she had a baggie.

If you are still around OP, with what did the farmer pick up the poo?

The way OP comes across she probably forced her to do with her bare hand!

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 10/03/2023 10:38

Inkpotlover · 10/03/2023 10:31

The way OP comes across she probably forced her to do with her bare hand!

That’s what I’m thinking.

IhearyouClemFandango · 10/03/2023 10:42

So much sock puppeting in the latter parts of this thread.

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 10/03/2023 10:43

Mamamia7962 · 10/03/2023 10:07

Doesthepope - Would you still only pick up in your garden once a day if you had children/grandchildren playing in it?

I do have children playing in it.

WoofWoofBeachLife · 10/03/2023 10:50

Mamamia7962 · 10/03/2023 10:04

chocci - We're not talking about any of those things here though are we? I agree that a lot of people don't have respect for the countryside, let their dogs off lead where there's livestock etc, but that isn't what this thread is about.

Your last three paragraphs were uncalled for.

You continually out with your fishing rod baiting people to respond is uncalled for. You sound like the OP 🤣

WoofWoofBeachLife · 10/03/2023 10:52

IhearyouClemFandango · 10/03/2023 10:42

So much sock puppeting in the latter parts of this thread.

Agree @MNHQ can you have a check?

Cocobutt · 10/03/2023 11:07

So much sock puppeting in the latter parts of this thread.

I was thinking the same.

There have been a lot of trolls on here recently though too.

callthataspade · 10/03/2023 11:08

Cocobutt · 10/03/2023 11:07

So much sock puppeting in the latter parts of this thread.

I was thinking the same.

There have been a lot of trolls on here recently though too.

To be the honest the whole thing read as a daily Mail wet dream...

ReneBumsWombats · 10/03/2023 11:15

callthataspade · 10/03/2023 11:08

To be the honest the whole thing read as a daily Mail wet dream...

It does a bit, although it's lacking overt misogynistic content. Would still fit the brief though. Where are they?

Cocobutt · 10/03/2023 11:17

To be the honest the whole thing read as a daily Mail wet dream...

🤣🤣🤣

chocciechocface · 10/03/2023 11:19

It's not overt in the thread, but I have wondered if the OP is male. If so, the misogyny reveals itself very well.

Motnight · 10/03/2023 11:23

chocciechocface · 10/03/2023 11:19

It's not overt in the thread, but I have wondered if the OP is male. If so, the misogyny reveals itself very well.

That's a really good point

Mamamia7962 · 10/03/2023 11:44

Chocci - Well of course children/adults shouldn't be leaving litter on the lady's field,

Anklespraying · 10/03/2023 11:47

stillcantthinkofaname · 10/03/2023 07:37

Fucking landowners. Yeah you were OTT in blocking her way and as neighbours you could definitely say sorry if you want, there’s no point dying on the hill of 1 dog shit you happened to see being laid. On the other hand, she lets kids play there and thinks it’s ok to leave dog shit there for the day knowing they may get stomped, and now she had been challenged she is doing a shame exchange on you and using being ‘afraid’ as a reason to withdraw access to her land for a bunch of kids who are clearly less important to her than her own sense of entitlement. What an arsehole frankly, she’s just booted your community in the face and everyone is so conditioned to accept land ownership rights over rights to access and space to play they don’t even challenge it. I’m sure she thinks she’s kind/a victim but what a load of total bullshit. Most of this country is now owned by people who inherited their land, don’t work, didn’t earn it, won’t share it. Christ don’t get me started on landlords.

This is what townies think of farmers. It's extraordinary.

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