Not sure how or if to put this right

[Smartieshavesomeanswers]

A bit of a long one here, and changed n as me so it can’t be linked back to my other posts…
Behind the housing estate where I live is a lovely big field known as the football field, all the local kids head there at the weekend for a kick about and play. It is a proper field though- not a rec or anything.

Anyway me and my boys were there a few weekends ago and there was a woman walking her dog off lead. It stopped for a shit and she carried on walking and didn’t pick it up. I shouted over and told her to pick it up, and she just carried on walking. I headed over and cut her off and told her to go and pick up her dogs mess. She told me she’d go back for it later and to mind my own business and went to walk off. I did at this point block her way (probably a mistake in retrospect) and told her kids were playing and it was disgusting. She replied that it wouldn’t be a problem if my kids stayed on the footpath and it was her field. Anyway I made her pick it up and thought that was the end of it.

anyway we went to go over there at the weekend and there is now electric fence up either side of the path, all properly signed and everything, and I’ve heard on the grapevine my neighbours are furious that the kids can’t play there anymore. Apparently a few have spoken with the lady (she does actually own it-what are the chances?) and she is saying that she felt frightened and intimidated by someone, and now doesn’t want the kids using it any more and is going to move some of her sheep in there once it’s had a ‘rest’ I think this is just an excuse to justify the fence.

she hasn’t mentioned me, but I am worried if it gets out it was me my neighbours will be really angry. Should I find her and apologise? Apparently she just heads round the field once a day with a scooper to tidy it, all my neighbours seem to think she is gods gift even doing this. Was I in the wrong? I really think I have dropped a clanger here, what should I do?

Why is it so difficult for you to understand that people can do whatever they wish on their own property? You can do whatever you want in YOUR garden. You cannot go through life policing others. Well, I suppose you could if you did it as a full time job. Perhaps that might be an option for you? I can't see many actual crimes being solved on your patch but I'm sure it would be dog shit free 😂😂😂

callthataspade - What's with all the are you ok and hope you feel better soon nonsense. Are you implying that I must be mentally ill? What an insult to people actually suffering from mental illness to use it so loosely.

Where have I said the lady who owns the field has to do anything with it? If you read my posts I said if I had been in the OP's situation and knew the lady owned the field, I wouldn't have said anything to her in the first place.

Casilero - Where have I said that she can't? I had already said on an earlier post that if I knew the lady owned the field I wouldn't say anything to her.

It’s not a playing field or a path - it is private property.

she can let her dogs crap anywhere they want on her field. Of course it isn’t a problem. It’s her field.

if others decide to use the field, they could do the decent thing and go pick up the litter and poo before they start playing.

I can just see it!

to quote a long-ago thread - won’t you think of a child’s joy? 😝😋😆

Do you by any chance know the OP IRL?

If so, stop trying to desperately salvage something out of this situation by ignoring the full context and what actually happened.

You're really not helping them at all. If you want to support them, then face up to what happened and start from there.

There is no way for them to to back peddle this except by owning up to what they did, apologising completely, and changing their behaviour to match the context of where you live.

It is not possible to remedy this with an 'oh but I thought...' or 'if I lived in town this would be reasonable ...' because I promise you, everyone in this community now knows the following:

1. that the OP happily used someone's land without their permission
2. possibly did not pick up their children's rubbish off the field when they left
3. totally ignored the farmers right to utilise her own land however she wanted to
4. and then actually dominated and bullied a kind and grieving middle-aged woman

This is a farming community, and the OPs behaviour angers all farmers. These people have probably known each other for generations and constantly have to deal with their land being misused. This is exactly the kind of experience that is shared. In fact, it's worse because of the face to face bullying.

When the farmer got help to erect that fence from a kindly neighbour, she will have explained why. That neighbour will have been outraged and spoken to another neighbour until, eventually, someone spoke to the person who spoke to the OP.

And, unbelievably, it still didn't dawn on the OP that they were being given a serious subtle warning, choosing instead to deride the woman further and bullishly try and work out how they can get the field back because they want a shit free park on their doorstep.

So if you think you're supporting the OP, you're not. The starting point is understanding and accepting the truth of those four numbered points above. Then work from there.

@chocciechocface 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

well put.

Choccie - No I don't know the OP in real life neither do I know the lady whose field it is. Do you?

I am allowed to say what I would/wouldn't do in this situation as is the same for everyone else on this thread and I am allowed to respond to posters who quote me.

I think the main issue is how tone deaf and entitled all of your posts are.

It’s all a bit embarrassing for you. Or, it should be.

That's a good idea OP... take round the flowers and ask her what you can do to fix what happened. Maybe take some children with you so you seem less intimidating!

Derbee - How on earth are my posts entitled? I haven't said that the lady should let the children have the field back, or that people should be allowed to go on private land without permission and drop litter there. Where have I been entitled?

It's not a good idea to turn up at the front door of a woman you've intimidated so badly that she's taken such drastic action.

But she doesn't pick it up straight away, and then she's quite happy for children to play there. Implying it’s the responsibility of the landowner to keep the field dog poo free, for other peoples benefit?!

if I knew the lady owned the field I wouldn't say anything to her. So it’s fine to shout and intimidate someone, but only if they can’t offer any sort of benefit to you. A random who doesn’t own the field is fair game?!

But how would someone know that the field was private if it's not fenced off and there's a footpath alongside it. An automatic assumption that land is not owned, and is there as a free for all for you/ your kids to use as YOU wish?!

Derbee - I haven't said she has to pick it up I said I find it strange that a lady who people on here have said has kindly let children play on her field wouldn't want to pick up after her dog straight away. That is just my opinion.

With regards to your second point where have I said that I would shout and intimidate someone. If I was walking in a field where children were playing and someone was letting their dog crap then yes, if they were a distance from me I would shout to them so they could hear me. It's not intimidating to ask someone to pick up after their dog and ask them if they need a bag if they haven't got one. If I was walking in a private field then obviously I would have permission to be there and I would assume that other dog walkers would too so of course people should pick up after their dogs especially if children are there playing. That is being courteous to others using the field and a responsible dog owner.

How on earth have I assumed that land is not owned. I do not think that any field I see is a free for all as you say, not sure how you have come to that conclusion. It was a reasonable question which some people on here with knowledge of private land answered without the need for insults.

You continue to have a terrible entitled attitude. Intimidating an older lady is downright terrible. Be glad that she only put up an electric fence and didn't post your name or call the authorities on you.
It sounds like she picks up on a daily basis, hers and others doggy business. Who the heck are you to tell her, block her and force her to pick up on her own property. Not to mention calling her disgusting.
Yeah, you are a jerk. You owe her an honest apology. You probably won't because you're to self-righteous.
I hope everyone finds out it was you that ruined her generosity to use HER Field.
Note: I agree people need to pickup. But I usually hand them a bag and say, "Oh I guess your out, here you go", because you know what, they just might be.

so you intimidated an older woman, cut her pathway off and demanded she pick up her dogs poo even after she told you that she owned the place and yet you're on here dreading at being found out, i hope you do get found out to be honest

Based on her replies to comments it doesn't look like she's learned anything at all. She's still making excuses for her atrocious behaviour
and trying to get validation/sympathy on here.

Fuck me. You're still going on?

Haha Jesus.

I honestly feel sorry for you.

It always puzzle me when people quote "right to roam" in Scotland..you still need to have a reason to be there, and be responsible...in this case the OP was not being responsible intimidating the land owner! . People are so disrespectful of land that does not belong to them , littering and causing havoc yet fight for their "right to roam", yeah all well and good when they just want to enjoy someone else's land without the responsibility of cleaning and maintaining it. The problem with this "right to roam" is that as usual a few ruin it for everyone else by being CF.

Stillcantthinkofaname why don't you buy a field and let people use it then or just your garden? Owning land comes with a lot of responsibility too.

People are so ignorant sometimes, and go through life being so opinionated and aggressive, so it's nice to see at least this time it had consequences. My husband and I bought a smallish piece of land on a semi rural location. This land includes a road which is privately owned, people often come and park there or in the entrance to our field, we have had people entering the land without permission and falling and hurting themselves, I have witnessed dogs off their leash going into neighbours land which holds livestock, whenever you try and explain to people this is a private road and they can't park there, they just shrug their shoulders and leave their cars there anyway..saying there is no way I owe the road as "no one owes roads" 🤣😂... I have tried to use the example of me parking in their driveway or their garden but because it is much more land than a conventional garden they just don't see it as trespassing.its extremely frustrating so I sympathize with the land owner, and I am glad she now can go and do as she pleases with her land without a random verbally attacking her for doing so.

Go and apologise to her, take her flowers, ask her to reconsider. Tell her how much the local children enjoy the field. Grovel.

If you're big enough to confront the landowner, including bullying and harassing her, then you're big enough to handle your neighbours wrath if they find out it's you.
If I were you, I'd stay well away from the poor woman, and if I were her, I would be telling you where to shove your flowers and wine!

Yes, she did intimidate her. Now OP's in deep shit if the neighbors find out.

DYING to know if the field got reopened