Page 14 | To suggest putting trousers on to go out in the snow

Shebelievedshecouldbutshecba · 2023-03-08T19:49:28+00:00

DS was being taken to football today. Was in football kit ready to go. DH asked him to put trousers on before getting in the car, given it was snowing. DS refused point blank. DH said he wasn’t taking him unless he put the trousers on. I agreed. DS refused, so DH wouldn’t take him and we now have had a 2h tantrum (with screaming) about what awful parents we are. WWBU? I don’t think we were. Would have taken him less than a minute to put the trousers on, the consequence of not doing so was clearly laid out, and then we followed through with the consequence. And any guesses how old DS is?

Maryc279 · 12/03/2023 21:09

Not walking from the house to the car they didn’t. Behave.

Pubesofsoberness · 12/03/2023 21:17

Stewball01 · 12/03/2023 09:51

How old is he??????

Op has already said he's 12

Shadowfaze · 13/03/2023 04:43

The 2 hour tantrum is concerning to me and seems an extreme reaction given their age. I have 3 autistic children who all react like this with clothing and wish I'd picked it up sooner with them. I don't know if there's more background to this - if it isn't a one-off, sensory processing difficulties/differences might be something to consider.

Murdoch1949 · 13/03/2023 05:09

House to car to football pitch. Why the need for trousers? Take my 11 yr old to football, she wears the kit she is going to play in, plus a team jacket. We're in the frozen north so she does wear skins under her shorts in the winter. Buy him some, the top players wear them! You do seem like a fussy pair, let him get cold, his choice.

liveforsummer · 13/03/2023 06:20

Shadowfaze · 13/03/2023 04:43

The 2 hour tantrum is concerning to me and seems an extreme reaction given their age. I have 3 autistic children who all react like this with clothing and wish I'd picked it up sooner with them. I don't know if there's more background to this - if it isn't a one-off, sensory processing difficulties/differences might be something to consider.

I'm not sure, it does sound al lot but then it could be very frustrating not having agency over something so basic aged 12 and this probably isn't the only example. Add in new hormones that they aren't used to dealing with it's not totally unexpected

AuntMarch · 13/03/2023 07:23

If he over 5, YABU for not letting him decide for himself (actually not as much you as it was your husbands call, you were right not to undermine him).

"Do you want to throw some trousers over the top, it looks pretty cold"

"No"

"Ok, don't complain to me if you're freezing though!" (But actually I would just take some with me ready for if/when he did in fact complain to me)

I mean, how far away was your car?

Rewis · 13/03/2023 07:45

People out in shorts and no jackets in cold wether is quite stereotypically british thing. So your son is no exception 😁

MrsRaspberry · 13/03/2023 08:14

I was envisioning this being maybe a 6 year old considering you say he had a 2hour tantrum over it but just saw that you said hes 12. I'd have left him to it and if he got cold its his own doing. He's old enough to dress himself. Plus he was going in the car. If you were fussed about him being cold why would you have agreed to let him run about on a field playing football in the snow anyway knowing his kit consists of shorts and most likely long socks. Rather than cause drama id have told him fine if you freeze its on you

Lismcl · 13/03/2023 14:07

This is why base layers were invented OP. My son played football yesterday in some under armour and shorts and the same on top. If he had just wanted the shorts, that would have also been fine.

I’m also a grassroots coach and personally if you had let the team down like that for such a trivial reason, I’d have been angry with you. I hope the kids had enough players for the match to go ahead. When I was that age I wore shorts to sports and pe all year round in Scotland and in the snow.

Sage71 · 13/03/2023 15:15

YANBU I do the same with my nearly 13 year old son now as we have allowed this to happen previously (doesn’t need long trousers, coat etc.) and it is then followed up on the next school day with I am sick have a cough/cold and need to stay at home. This in turn impacts me as I have to make arrangements to stay home with a sick child. He is allowed to stay home alone for a couple of hours during the day but would not allow a full day when off school sick.

Marchsnowstorms · 13/03/2023 15:17

At 12 he's old enough to make own decisions on this

Bettyboop3 · 13/03/2023 15:26

Sage71 · 13/03/2023 15:15

YANBU I do the same with my nearly 13 year old son now as we have allowed this to happen previously (doesn’t need long trousers, coat etc.) and it is then followed up on the next school day with I am sick have a cough/cold and need to stay at home. This in turn impacts me as I have to make arrangements to stay home with a sick child. He is allowed to stay home alone for a couple of hours during the day but would not allow a full day when off school sick.

A cold is caused by a virus not going without trousers in cold weather.

Sage71 · 13/03/2023 16:27

My point is he does it on purpose goes out without the clothes then has a cold/cough to stay off school because of said trip out. His words so now we don’t give the choice.

Bettyboop3 · 13/03/2023 16:40

Sage71 · 13/03/2023 16:27

My point is he does it on purpose goes out without the clothes then has a cold/cough to stay off school because of said trip out. His words so now we don’t give the choice.

You let him stay off school when he pretends to have a cough/cold due to lack of clothing?

CMO · 13/03/2023 17:16

Sage71 · 13/03/2023 15:15

YANBU I do the same with my nearly 13 year old son now as we have allowed this to happen previously (doesn’t need long trousers, coat etc.) and it is then followed up on the next school day with I am sick have a cough/cold and need to stay at home. This in turn impacts me as I have to make arrangements to stay home with a sick child. He is allowed to stay home alone for a couple of hours during the day but would not allow a full day when off school sick.

That's BS as being in a cold environment doesn't cause a cough/cold.

Sage71 · 13/03/2023 17:19

No we don’t let him stay off we used to have a big argument and then he went now we don’t have the argument as he doesn’t have the excuse.

Sage71 · 13/03/2023 17:20

I know that and you know that but it didn’t stop him trying it on. Now no excuse and no argument.

Wrinklefree · 13/03/2023 17:21

Shebelievedshecouldbutshecba You need to pick your battles, my son is 14 and he’s always going out in shorts no matter what the weather, even after we tell him to put something warm on, he’ll be wrapped up warm from the top but will have shorts on, it’s just a teen thing.

Bettyboop3 · 13/03/2023 17:26

Sage71 · 13/03/2023 17:20

I know that and you know that but it didn’t stop him trying it on. Now no excuse and no argument.

I see! Fair enough, always better to avoid the argument if possible 😊

Boomboom22 · 13/03/2023 18:05

Surely if you nearly 13yr old is sick you can just go to work and call them every hr? I'm not planning on staying off once they are secondary unless there is an actual risk or serious illness.

pinkfondu · 13/03/2023 18:32

I think he didn't need to threaten not to take him. At this age you should let him be cold and take some for on the way back 🤷‍♀️

steff13 · 13/03/2023 18:39

Boomboom22 · 13/03/2023 18:05

Surely if you nearly 13yr old is sick you can just go to work and call them every hr? I'm not planning on staying off once they are secondary unless there is an actual risk or serious illness.

At that age I would maybe call at lunchtime and in the afternoon. They can call me if they need me.