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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MIL has my Valentine gift

368 replies

CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 07:57

About 5 years ago, DH bought me a few gifts for valentines day including a mug, it was very distinctive being red with 'love you' on it.

I really liked this mug. It would cheer me up whenever I looked at it, it was a perfect size for my coffee, comfy handle, just a nice mug. I used it daily.

A few years ago we stayed with MIL between house moves for 4 weeks, and I took my favourite mug.

I noticed her using it a few times, fine, okay, fair enough we were staying there. But when we moved out, and I couldn't find this mug. I swear I packed it but it wasn't in the box with other mugs.

The next time we visited MIL, I noticed my mug in her cupboard. I thought oh good, I can't have packed it! I brought it out and said I'd been looking for it and phew there it was!

She said NO that's her mug. That someone bought it for her. I asked who? She couldn't remember.

This mug is very distinctive, even with a little scratch I made by accident the first week I had it, so I know it's my mug.

Of course I'd be a right knob to have argued further, so I put it back in her cupboard. It's just a mug but every valentines day I think about it and it irks me! It was my mug!

OP posts:
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MysteryBelle · 15/02/2023 18:40

If I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is my mug that my dh gave me, and you say you are very sure, then of course I’d take it back. Simply get it out of her cabinet and take it home. Instruct dh (why hasn’t he already done this?) to tell her that he remembers giving that mug to you, that there is a scratch on it from first week you had it, he and you both knows it’s yours and so does she, and she’d better not say another word about it because it was evidently stolen and lied about on purpose by her.

I think it’s insane that she is acting like this and that you all are just going along with it. So what if it is a ‘thing’? She made it a thing, not you.

Mollywollywoo · 15/02/2023 18:40

I’ll tell you a brief story. 20 years ago for the first birthday I ever had with my DP he bought me white roses and I was able to grow a whole rose bush from a shoot of one. Beautiful big white roses. I was so proud of it. When we were moving I left it at my MIL’s to look after till the building work was finished. I went to get it back and BFH SIL who is a year younger than me and just hideous had planted it in the garden and started WW3 when I wanted to take it home, so feeling petty and stupid I left it but it bothered me for years and she gloated every time I went to visit. Last year, in the middle of summer. Something came over me and like something demented I went as bold as brass, dug the damn thing out and took it home while they all stood in stunned silence watching me, when she went to speak I just glared at her and stomped out with this blooming big rose bush to the car. The mud hanging from it, got back into the car with my spade in the passenger seat and drove home. I am totally blaming the menopause and it took me 15 years but I have the rose bush back 😂😂😂🙈🙈🙈

Sparkling82 · 15/02/2023 18:45

I would get another cheap red mug, safely get your mug he drop the cheap one on the floor. 😂

MysteryBelle · 15/02/2023 18:51

Mollywollywoo · 15/02/2023 18:40

I’ll tell you a brief story. 20 years ago for the first birthday I ever had with my DP he bought me white roses and I was able to grow a whole rose bush from a shoot of one. Beautiful big white roses. I was so proud of it. When we were moving I left it at my MIL’s to look after till the building work was finished. I went to get it back and BFH SIL who is a year younger than me and just hideous had planted it in the garden and started WW3 when I wanted to take it home, so feeling petty and stupid I left it but it bothered me for years and she gloated every time I went to visit. Last year, in the middle of summer. Something came over me and like something demented I went as bold as brass, dug the damn thing out and took it home while they all stood in stunned silence watching me, when she went to speak I just glared at her and stomped out with this blooming big rose bush to the car. The mud hanging from it, got back into the car with my spade in the passenger seat and drove home. I am totally blaming the menopause and it took me 15 years but I have the rose bush back 😂😂😂🙈🙈🙈

EXCELLENT!! Now that’s how you do it! I love this so much. Good for you!

Gardengirl108 · 15/02/2023 18:52

Mollywollywoo · 15/02/2023 18:40

I’ll tell you a brief story. 20 years ago for the first birthday I ever had with my DP he bought me white roses and I was able to grow a whole rose bush from a shoot of one. Beautiful big white roses. I was so proud of it. When we were moving I left it at my MIL’s to look after till the building work was finished. I went to get it back and BFH SIL who is a year younger than me and just hideous had planted it in the garden and started WW3 when I wanted to take it home, so feeling petty and stupid I left it but it bothered me for years and she gloated every time I went to visit. Last year, in the middle of summer. Something came over me and like something demented I went as bold as brass, dug the damn thing out and took it home while they all stood in stunned silence watching me, when she went to speak I just glared at her and stomped out with this blooming big rose bush to the car. The mud hanging from it, got back into the car with my spade in the passenger seat and drove home. I am totally blaming the menopause and it took me 15 years but I have the rose bush back 😂😂😂🙈🙈🙈

❤️❤️❤️good for you! Love it!

toxic44 · 15/02/2023 18:53

It's your mug so repossessing it is not stealing. She liked it enough to steal it, which is pretty immature, and then to lie about it, which is worse. I'd reclaim it as discreetly as possible. It isn't about the mug now, it's about principles. Why would you enable a thief?

TequilaNights · 15/02/2023 18:54

Nab it back or knock it on the floor 😁

ArielManto43 · 15/02/2023 18:55

Mollywollywoo · 15/02/2023 18:40

I’ll tell you a brief story. 20 years ago for the first birthday I ever had with my DP he bought me white roses and I was able to grow a whole rose bush from a shoot of one. Beautiful big white roses. I was so proud of it. When we were moving I left it at my MIL’s to look after till the building work was finished. I went to get it back and BFH SIL who is a year younger than me and just hideous had planted it in the garden and started WW3 when I wanted to take it home, so feeling petty and stupid I left it but it bothered me for years and she gloated every time I went to visit. Last year, in the middle of summer. Something came over me and like something demented I went as bold as brass, dug the damn thing out and took it home while they all stood in stunned silence watching me, when she went to speak I just glared at her and stomped out with this blooming big rose bush to the car. The mud hanging from it, got back into the car with my spade in the passenger seat and drove home. I am totally blaming the menopause and it took me 15 years but I have the rose bush back 😂😂😂🙈🙈🙈

Hahahahahahaha!!! That's absolutely brilliant. I love it! Nice job!! 😊😂

Itisbetter · 15/02/2023 18:55

@Mollywollywoo YOU ARE A GODDESS

Missingpop · 15/02/2023 18:58

It’s a mug……. Surely there are more important things to “irk” you in your life🤦‍♀️

JennyForeigner · 15/02/2023 19:01

I would surreptitiously reclaim the mug, put it in my cupboard and when MIL noticed say 'Yes! You were right! We must have had the same mug because this one turned up, and look, it has the scratch I remember. What a coincidence!'

Then see what happens.

BringMeTea · 15/02/2023 19:02

@Mollywollywoo I want to be you when I grow up. That is epic. Brava! 👏🏼

wellstopdoingitthen · 15/02/2023 19:08

I would take it back. If she doesn't know who bought her an 'I love you' mug she should give it back to you.

It is strange how possessive we can get over mugs. I have a favourite mug at work that my son bought me one Mother's Day. At weekends the hall is hired out to clubs. I went in a couple of weeks ago to find that someone had used my mug. We have a whole set of 'visitor ' plain mugs but they had used mine. I felt ridiculously upset about it. I have since taken to hiding it in my office at weekends. Prepared for being called childish.

Bleachmycloths · 15/02/2023 19:10

Steal it back. End of. MIL sounds like a bit of a nutter or a lot of a twat.

Emotionalsupportviper · 15/02/2023 19:11

Mollywollywoo · 15/02/2023 18:40

I’ll tell you a brief story. 20 years ago for the first birthday I ever had with my DP he bought me white roses and I was able to grow a whole rose bush from a shoot of one. Beautiful big white roses. I was so proud of it. When we were moving I left it at my MIL’s to look after till the building work was finished. I went to get it back and BFH SIL who is a year younger than me and just hideous had planted it in the garden and started WW3 when I wanted to take it home, so feeling petty and stupid I left it but it bothered me for years and she gloated every time I went to visit. Last year, in the middle of summer. Something came over me and like something demented I went as bold as brass, dug the damn thing out and took it home while they all stood in stunned silence watching me, when she went to speak I just glared at her and stomped out with this blooming big rose bush to the car. The mud hanging from it, got back into the car with my spade in the passenger seat and drove home. I am totally blaming the menopause and it took me 15 years but I have the rose bush back 😂😂😂🙈🙈🙈

The menopause can give you superpowers!

Is it a bird?

Is it a plane?

No! It's Hot-Flush Wumman!!!

Righting wrongs against Daughters-in-law everywhere! Grin

Mollywollywoo · 15/02/2023 19:17

Thank more, Boudicca less Goddess, in mid hot flush. It’s a sight to behold 🙈🙈🙈

Mollywollywoo · 15/02/2023 19:20

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I am picturing myself in Nora Batty stockings and a bed sheet for a cape. I can laugh now but at the time. I was a one woman crusade. Other half never let me live it down. 🙈🙈🙈 oh the shame 😂😂😂

Mollywollywoo · 15/02/2023 19:22

BringMeTea · 15/02/2023 19:02

@Mollywollywoo I want to be you when I grow up. That is epic. Brava! 👏🏼

@BringMeTea i am NEVER growing up!!! I have discovered though, the menopause makes you seriously brave/crazy!!!! Either way it worked. Me and my rose are reunited 😂😂😂

Mollywollywoo · 15/02/2023 19:25

And it would help if I could type and it made sense…. Lol. THINK MORE, even

Ludo19 · 15/02/2023 19:25

She knows it's your mug and that HER son gave it to YOU.

It smacks of mummy still wanting to be the only woman her son loves.

Take it back off the thieving bint.

280NeuerNamen · 15/02/2023 19:27

IncompleteSenten · 14/02/2023 11:19

You could always go full penis beaker on her.

I hope it's not my mug. DH ejaculated into that mug as a joke and I never used it since.

I'm joking. Obviously. But imagine her face 😁

That was hilarious GrinGrin

CountryMouse22 · 15/02/2023 19:31

Can't DH go back to the shop he bought it from and see if they still have some?! Or a scroll through ebay maybe?|

Maybebabyno2 · 15/02/2023 19:34

I would feel the exact same OP. I have a little tesco mug I got as an emergency for Butlins (their cups are too small) for about £1. It is my favourite mug in the world. The metallic has nearly worn off but omg the size is perfect, the handle is perfect. I kick myself every day I only bought one (not seen these specific ones since)

If someone stole it, I think I would be bereft (only half joking 🤣)

Maybebabyno2 · 15/02/2023 19:37

Mollywollywoo · 15/02/2023 18:40

I’ll tell you a brief story. 20 years ago for the first birthday I ever had with my DP he bought me white roses and I was able to grow a whole rose bush from a shoot of one. Beautiful big white roses. I was so proud of it. When we were moving I left it at my MIL’s to look after till the building work was finished. I went to get it back and BFH SIL who is a year younger than me and just hideous had planted it in the garden and started WW3 when I wanted to take it home, so feeling petty and stupid I left it but it bothered me for years and she gloated every time I went to visit. Last year, in the middle of summer. Something came over me and like something demented I went as bold as brass, dug the damn thing out and took it home while they all stood in stunned silence watching me, when she went to speak I just glared at her and stomped out with this blooming big rose bush to the car. The mud hanging from it, got back into the car with my spade in the passenger seat and drove home. I am totally blaming the menopause and it took me 15 years but I have the rose bush back 😂😂😂🙈🙈🙈

I think I might love you

oioimatey · 15/02/2023 19:38

Next time you're there get your DH to make a cup of tea for everyone and get him to look your MIL directly in the eyes and exclaim, "ah ha! There's that mug I gave you for Valentine's Day in 2019, we've been looking for that since we moved!"