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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MIL has my Valentine gift

368 replies

CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 07:57

About 5 years ago, DH bought me a few gifts for valentines day including a mug, it was very distinctive being red with 'love you' on it.

I really liked this mug. It would cheer me up whenever I looked at it, it was a perfect size for my coffee, comfy handle, just a nice mug. I used it daily.

A few years ago we stayed with MIL between house moves for 4 weeks, and I took my favourite mug.

I noticed her using it a few times, fine, okay, fair enough we were staying there. But when we moved out, and I couldn't find this mug. I swear I packed it but it wasn't in the box with other mugs.

The next time we visited MIL, I noticed my mug in her cupboard. I thought oh good, I can't have packed it! I brought it out and said I'd been looking for it and phew there it was!

She said NO that's her mug. That someone bought it for her. I asked who? She couldn't remember.

This mug is very distinctive, even with a little scratch I made by accident the first week I had it, so I know it's my mug.

Of course I'd be a right knob to have argued further, so I put it back in her cupboard. It's just a mug but every valentines day I think about it and it irks me! It was my mug!

OP posts:
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5
ItsCalledAConversation · 15/02/2023 10:07

Come on OP, we need updates. What’s the mug status now? Is it still captured on enemy territory?

Maray1967 · 15/02/2023 11:00

DH should pay for a new mug - his mum is hanging on to it wrongly. He should replace the original one that is yours with the new one so you get back the one he originally bought for you. A £14 solution - but your DH must pay for it.

WickedSerious · 15/02/2023 11:12

I'd steal it back and send her a video of you holding the mug aloft as you complete several victory laps of your kitchen.

Buttercookiee · 15/02/2023 13:19

Admire it and ask her to leave it to you in her Will Wink

pinkpantherpink · 15/02/2023 17:43

Just do it

What's she gonna do?

Poppyblush · 15/02/2023 17:49

Ffs, just take it back.

CountessWindyBottom · 15/02/2023 17:54

This is so passive aggressive of your MIL. And she knows she was caught out and yet brazened it out. You either pinch it back and have to hide it every time she comes around or you get your husband to get it back for you. This would drive me mad too. It's so petty.

CocoFifi · 15/02/2023 17:55

It’s a mug!! Let it go. Life is too short

ICanFeelItComingInTheAirTonight · 15/02/2023 17:57

I'm still liking the dropping it idea- if you can't have it no one can 😉 or message the eBay seller and explain the problem, the seller might let you have it for less, inc delivery 🤷🏼‍♀️

Mikex · 15/02/2023 18:00

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Fbearsmum · 15/02/2023 18:01

Next time get your dh to make the drinks and then when he opens the cupboard to exclaim really loudly oh look here's the mug I bought you

DMW60 · 15/02/2023 18:01

Augend23 · 14/02/2023 08:24

I'd definitely nick it back "oh no MIL this is definitely mine - DH bought it for me years ago but we found it again recently. Isn't it funny how these things reappear"

As she nicked it from you she can't really complain...

I’d do this but hide it when she visits

Aesop45 · 15/02/2023 18:07

You’ll probably inherit it back one day, just bide your time.

ACynicalDad · 15/02/2023 18:08

Slip it in your bag next time you visit. Hide it when she comes round.

ItchyBillco · 15/02/2023 18:09

Steal it back. When she asks, lie to her just as she’s lied to you.

Longleggedgiraffe · 15/02/2023 18:11

CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 08:03

DH is totally with me, he knows it's the one he bought.

He said he would pinch it back for me, or just tell her it is my mug but I don't want to make it a Thing. I mean, it is just a mug.

He did buy me another nice mug when I told him! But it's not quite as perfect as the stolen mug...

Plus do I want it back now she's using it?

But you are making a Thing about it on here. I don’t understand why, if it’s obviously irking you, why you don’t ask DH to get it back. Either get it back or don’t mention it again.

Silvers11 · 15/02/2023 18:13

@CloudySuns Spend the £14 on a new mug, swap it with your old one at your MIL's when you get the chance and you'll have your original one. Would be well worth paying for a new one if it was me. Sorted!

Bridewel1 · 15/02/2023 18:18

She feels within her right to claim ownership of the mug and trying to rightfully claim it’s hers. She knows what she’s doing without a care. And your husband should have stood up to her for wrong doing, amicably. And you are well within you rights to claim it back. Well she claimed it, you claimed it back. And if she notices it missing say you know nothing. And if she sees it in your home say you liked it that much you found a replacement online.

HermioneKipper · 15/02/2023 18:18

She made you pay rent?!

Steal it back

ICanSeeYouNextWednesdayAtFour · 15/02/2023 18:22

I'd be buying one with 'Cunt' on it and put it where your one was in the cupboard when you take it back

Justine2884 · 15/02/2023 18:25

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

AmyDudley · 15/02/2023 18:26

Maybe she genuinely believes it is her mug. Instead of doing something completely deranged like smashing it to pieces, and totally destroying your relationship with your MIL, you could say 'Sorry MIL, but I'm sure you are mistaken about the mug, DH bought it for me for Valentine's- we both remember it clearly, and it's my favourite mug. So I'd like it back, but I've bought you another one to replace it', and get one of those mugs that say 'awesome mother in law' or 'best mother in law in the world' or similar, so she has a mug to make her feel loved.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 15/02/2023 18:32

It's a mug! Steal it, smash it, leave it. It really doesn't matter.

Gardengirl108 · 15/02/2023 18:34

Same thing happened with my mum claiming a massive potted bamboo plant that I’d bought my husband for his birthday was hers. She’d looked after it when we were moving and refused to give it back. We often jokingly plotted to go round and ‘steal’ it back from her garden and would have if she doesn’t have such nosy neighbours who would have surely grassed us up. Eventually, some 7 years later she told me that it had died so I offered to take it to the tip for her. It wasn’t dead at all, brought it home and husband revived it.

WingingItSince1973 · 15/02/2023 18:37

Aesop45 · 15/02/2023 18:07

You’ll probably inherit it back one day, just bide your time.

That made me laugh. This post has really cheered me up. Thanks OP. I would want my mug back. I love all of these suggestions though my fave is buy the new mug and write 'more' under the I love you part then always drink your coffee from it when she visits 😂