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AIBU?

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Original poster

MIL has my Valentine gift

368 replies

CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 07:57

About 5 years ago, DH bought me a few gifts for valentines day including a mug, it was very distinctive being red with 'love you' on it.

I really liked this mug. It would cheer me up whenever I looked at it, it was a perfect size for my coffee, comfy handle, just a nice mug. I used it daily.

A few years ago we stayed with MIL between house moves for 4 weeks, and I took my favourite mug.

I noticed her using it a few times, fine, okay, fair enough we were staying there. But when we moved out, and I couldn't find this mug. I swear I packed it but it wasn't in the box with other mugs.

The next time we visited MIL, I noticed my mug in her cupboard. I thought oh good, I can't have packed it! I brought it out and said I'd been looking for it and phew there it was!

She said NO that's her mug. That someone bought it for her. I asked who? She couldn't remember.

This mug is very distinctive, even with a little scratch I made by accident the first week I had it, so I know it's my mug.

Of course I'd be a right knob to have argued further, so I put it back in her cupboard. It's just a mug but every valentines day I think about it and it irks me! It was my mug!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
ThreeblackCats · 14/02/2023 08:25

Steal it back! Then deny its ‘her’ mug!

Original poster
CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 08:25

Showmethefood · 14/02/2023 08:21

Sorry, presumed DH was with you as your post read “next time we visited.”

No sorry I wasn't clear, you were right, we did visit together - he was then out doing an errand for her while she kept her company (I didn't fancy going to scrap yard with him).

By the time he was back, the mug was back in the cupboard, I was a bit confused and didn't bring it up, wish I did now!

OP posts:
fairgame84 · 14/02/2023 08:28

YABU for putting it back.
Get your mug!

Justalittlebitduckling · 14/02/2023 08:31

My grandma used to do things like this. She really believed her lies. Bigger things than a mug, though. She would just see something she liked and claim it was hers and make up a whole backstory. It wasn’t dementia because she’d always been that way. We never really worked out if she had something neurologically wrong or if she was just a pathological liar.

ReformedWaywardTeen · 14/02/2023 08:34

That is weird.

It kind of snacks of jealousy doesn't it?

Do you have a good relationship with her otherwise or have you ever got a vibe off her of not approving of you?

Personally, next time I was there, I'd bring a larger soft floppy handbag, put the cup in, being that cup home. I bet she says not a single word when she notices.

Original poster
CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 08:37

Justalittlebitduckling · 14/02/2023 08:31

My grandma used to do things like this. She really believed her lies. Bigger things than a mug, though. She would just see something she liked and claim it was hers and make up a whole backstory. It wasn’t dementia because she’d always been that way. We never really worked out if she had something neurologically wrong or if she was just a pathological liar.

I do wonder with MIL if she knows.

All her mugs are distinct blue and white China ones, part of a set. She doesn't have any novelty mugs so this one stands out!

Also no idea who she thinks would have gifted her a red 'love you' mug?! She even said she couldn't remember.

God I feel so petty!

I might see if I can buy a similar one to slyly swap it with.

OP posts:
GoodChat · 14/02/2023 08:39

I like the idea of smashing it because I think that posters an evil genius 😈

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 14/02/2023 08:41

What would OP gain from smashing it though? It's her mug

Original poster
CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 08:41

I found it!

But bloody hell I can't spend £14 on a mug 😩I may need to move on and let this go.

MIL has my Valentine gift
OP posts:
GoodChat · 14/02/2023 08:41

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 14/02/2023 08:41

What would OP gain from smashing it though? It's her mug

She said she doesn't know if she wants it back now as it's kind of tainted

dramalamma · 14/02/2023 08:42

Jeez I'd be sneaking back your one, leaving something similar in its place and then deny all knowledge! Cheeky mil!

Summerfun54321 · 14/02/2023 08:42

If you stole it back sods law you'd then find your actual mug at the back of the cupboard 6 months later when you realised your MIL was actually telling the truth. Unless it's handmade and one of a kind then you need to let this go.

SgtCatherineCawood · 14/02/2023 08:43

CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 08:41

I found it!

But bloody hell I can't spend £14 on a mug 😩I may need to move on and let this go.

Is that your MIL's username 🤣

TheUsualChaos · 14/02/2023 08:45

I don't understand why your DH doesn't just say "oh there's that mug I bought for CloudySuns! We thought we'd lost it" and take it home 🤷‍♀️ are you all afraid of her?

pippinsleftleg · 14/02/2023 08:45

Steal it back! Your coffee will taste better dipping from the mug of victory!

pippinsleftleg · 14/02/2023 08:46

Sipping not dipping

endoftheworldniteclub · 14/02/2023 08:47

Op we won’t leave this thread until you post a photo of the cup in your cupboard!

MiddleParking · 14/02/2023 08:47

I wouldn’t do anything about it except hold a grudge against her for it forever. Completely creepy and awful to steal your romantic trinket and lie about it.

donttellmehesalive · 14/02/2023 08:47

My MIL did this but with a book. It was a gift from my dad and he had written inside the front cover, a poem, in his handwriting. I could not convince her that it was mine but stole it back. In your case, I'd worry that she'd see the mug when she next visited your house. If you think she's genuinely made a mistake - as opposed to intentionally stealing it - I'd let it go. If you think it's intentional, accidentally drop it while using it outside on your next visit, from a height.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 14/02/2023 08:48

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 14/02/2023 08:41

What would OP gain from smashing it though? It's her mug

Because it's ruined for her, so ruin it for the MIL.

I'm petty, though, because it's something my MIL would do.

Xol · 14/02/2023 08:48

You need to get your DH to do the deed, pointing out the scratch that identifies it. With any luck she won't contradict him.

endoftheworldniteclub · 14/02/2023 08:50

Does she think her son should love only her and noone else, so she stole your mug out of jealousy?

Ellegeebee · 14/02/2023 08:54

Steal your mug back! Put it in your cupboard as normal and if MIL sees it and challenges you about it just tell her you found it when you unpacked a box you had forgotten about. “Look! It even has this little scratch I made on it the first week I had it”. I’m invested in this now! Get it back!

SingaporeSlinky · 14/02/2023 08:55

Yeah I’d get DH to ‘find’ the mug in his mum’s cupboard and say to her “oh mum, this is CloudySun’s mug, she’s been looking for this” and when his mum says it’s hers, he can say “no, look, it’s even got the scratch on” and just insist. If all that fails, I’d have to smash it too.

figmaofmyimagination · 14/02/2023 09:00

TAKE BACK THE MUG