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Original poster

MIL has my Valentine gift

368 replies

CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 07:57

About 5 years ago, DH bought me a few gifts for valentines day including a mug, it was very distinctive being red with 'love you' on it.

I really liked this mug. It would cheer me up whenever I looked at it, it was a perfect size for my coffee, comfy handle, just a nice mug. I used it daily.

A few years ago we stayed with MIL between house moves for 4 weeks, and I took my favourite mug.

I noticed her using it a few times, fine, okay, fair enough we were staying there. But when we moved out, and I couldn't find this mug. I swear I packed it but it wasn't in the box with other mugs.

The next time we visited MIL, I noticed my mug in her cupboard. I thought oh good, I can't have packed it! I brought it out and said I'd been looking for it and phew there it was!

She said NO that's her mug. That someone bought it for her. I asked who? She couldn't remember.

This mug is very distinctive, even with a little scratch I made by accident the first week I had it, so I know it's my mug.

Of course I'd be a right knob to have argued further, so I put it back in her cupboard. It's just a mug but every valentines day I think about it and it irks me! It was my mug!

OP posts:
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5
Treaclemine · 15/02/2023 19:44

I haven't read the whole thread, but am wholly on the take it back side, because I think it is related to something I have seen in some mothers. There are those who cannot freely release their sons to another woman. (I have been called 'the other woman' by one!) Granny to Mum, all sorted. Mum's husband's mother full of resentment that he dared to marry instead of keeping her. Colleague's fiance's mother, another colleague's mother wrote him a stinky letter while on trip, needed support. I suspect that keeping the mug may be a way of persuading herself that she is the one that he loves, not OP. It's not just a mug, it's become a magic object. Get it back, preferably with son doing the retrieval, Soak it in Milton, run it through the dishwasher, and keep it hidden when she comes round.

TolkiensFallow · 15/02/2023 19:45

I hear you op. This is the sort of batshittery I get from my mil.

Moveoverdarlin · 15/02/2023 19:47

Get the mug back if it’s the last thing you do. She sounds bat shit.

Chandimum · 15/02/2023 19:52

Cackawhookie · 14/02/2023 09:00

Steal it back, then when she next comes round make yourself a coffee in it and eyeball her the whole time whilst drinking from it……..

Oh my God, THIS all the way! 😂

Emotionalsupportviper · 15/02/2023 19:52

Mollywollywoo · 15/02/2023 19:20

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I am picturing myself in Nora Batty stockings and a bed sheet for a cape. I can laugh now but at the time. I was a one woman crusade. Other half never let me live it down. 🙈🙈🙈 oh the shame 😂😂😂

😂😂😂

Emotionalsupportviper · 15/02/2023 19:53

280NeuerNamen · 15/02/2023 19:27

That was hilarious GrinGrin

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Ooooh!

Do think!

Emotionalsupportviper · 15/02/2023 19:54

*do this, not do think

<facepalm>

JustJoinedRightNow · 15/02/2023 19:56

I haven’t read the whole thread to see if anyone has said this, but it’s entirely likely she will hide it from you now every time you come over cos she knows you’re onto her!!
You need to make a surprise visit, and shove the mug in your bag asap!

LittleVoice11 · 15/02/2023 19:59

A ‘friend did this to me 25 years ago, and it still hurts!!

For context, I had worked closely with friend #1 for a couple of years and we had become friends outside of work. Friend #2 was her close pal since childhood and became my friend too way before any of this happened.

The three of us then relocated 150 miles away from home to start new jobs together in the airline industry and moved in to a house together, becoming housemates.

Before we moved away, I’d been given an adorable little soft toy piglet by some of our old colleagues as a leaving gift. It had sentimental value and was really sweet.

Time passed we all got on great, and when we were leaving the house to go our separate ways, friend #1 was scanning the place for her stuff. She picked my piglet up and said how she’d “been looking for this” and packed it away with her things. I said (nicely) how it was mine, but she raised her voice and launched into this massive attack/ rant about how it was 100% hers and she KNEW because there were little ceramic beads in the feet. Friend #2 knew without doubt it was mine because he had seen me unpack it and I had shown him at the time… anyway he just ‘knew’. However friend #1 could be quite dramatic and aggressive at times and myself & #2 are not at all like that. I was completely stuck for words it was awful, she flipped her lid completely!

Friend #2 was standing there in disbelief, and repeated to her how it wasn’t hers it was mine, he was certain - and to give it back, well, he got such a mouthful! We were all good friends and it just didn’t seem worth having a massive row over a toy pig because she was adamant. She went ballistic over it, absolutely convinced it was hers and stuffed it in her case. We just shut up and it was so awkward. I was left doubting myself as well, that is the worst bit! Friend #2 asked me if I was ok afterwards, but I didn’t stand my ground and I wish I had.

I’m still good friends with friend #2 to this day. Even though we changed careers and went our separate ways we keep in touch. We both drifted from friend #1 (long story but she wasn’t very nice to him)

We laugh about it now, he STILL says “remember the little pig??” and how he couldn’t believe it, but truthfully it really hurts and bugs me in a small place deep inside! Completely understand how upset you are and why!

Chandimum · 15/02/2023 20:06

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 15/02/2023 18:32

It's a mug! Steal it, smash it, leave it. It really doesn't matter.

Der, yes it does....😉

abilouhardy · 15/02/2023 20:06

FrenchBoule · 14/02/2023 08:20

I was just about to say that 😀

”Oops MIL, sorrrry”

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😂loving this idea. Drop it. X

MysteryBelle · 15/02/2023 20:21

Definitely sanitize it when you take it back.

Gilmorehill · 15/02/2023 20:23

I’d have slipped that in my bag. Mil has pinched stuff from my house, mainly books and dvds, and if I’ve managed to find them in her house, I’ve taken them back without a word. More recently, when staying with us, she kept taking my ‘Wonderful wife’ mug I’d got years ago from dh. She fucking cracked it. I told dh and got one to replace it from NOTHS but of course it wasn’t the same.

Ourshoddyhouse · 15/02/2023 20:26

If you try to smash this mug, it'll just bounce unharmed 🤣

Yemelade · 15/02/2023 20:40

Could you buy a similar red mug, smash it and be like "oh no, your mug!" The next time you're there but steal the real one? 😂 I mean honestly if you know it's yours, I'd take it. "You might not remember who gifted this, but I do. Your son gifted this to me, as his wife. Thanks for looking after it, it's coming back with me"

FoxInABox · 15/02/2023 20:44

My DM used to do things like this when I still lived at home. She would constantly take things from my room then claim them as hers. One item was a limited edition powder compact I had bought. That one in particular really niggled at me- every time I stole it back she would then re steal it back again! When I eventually confronted her she then gave ME the silent treatment for a whole month! I think it’s some weird kind of power play.

ChampagneLassie · 15/02/2023 20:44

Let it go @CloudySuns there are bigger issues

AshtonsMummy2017 · 15/02/2023 20:46

She said she can’t remember who bought her a mug that says “I Love You” on it, what a load of bleeeeeepppp. Get that mug back and don’t let her mug you off the lying swine.

Rachand23 · 15/02/2023 20:47

Be the better person and let her have the mug.

Silvergone · 15/02/2023 20:48

Buy another mug.

Sneak it into MIL’s cupboard, so she has two.

Either she knows she stole your mug, in which case she’ll realise you’ve bought another and are messing with her, and she’ll say nothing.

Or, she genuinely thinks it was her mug, and when she finds the second one she’ll say “Oh look I found your missing mug.”

😈

Reindear · 15/02/2023 21:09

Buy yourself a replacement mug and watch her confusion when she comes to your house and sees it there. It will prob be worth the £14… (unless of course she has dementia in which case obv don’t do this…)

nannykatherine · 15/02/2023 21:15

WeCome1 · 14/02/2023 07:59

Have you told DH? I would get him to pinch it back. I’m petty though.

I would just take it back
I wouldn’t even care if she saw me

AffableApple · 15/02/2023 21:26

CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 08:03

DH is totally with me, he knows it's the one he bought.

He said he would pinch it back for me, or just tell her it is my mug but I don't want to make it a Thing. I mean, it is just a mug.

He did buy me another nice mug when I told him! But it's not quite as perfect as the stolen mug...

Plus do I want it back now she's using it?

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Yes, you do want it back. Especially because she's using it. Extra satisfying 😆

TaraMock · 15/02/2023 22:04

I want to join the @Mollywollywoo love club, you are my hero 😁😁

@CloudySuns, Channel your inner @Mollywollywoo & go get your mug!

eastegg · 15/02/2023 22:35

MaryLennoxsScowl · 14/02/2023 09:08

Buy ten LoveYou mugs and keep them at your house. When MIL comes round, give everyone tea in them and say to her ‘look how kind DH is - I was sad I couldn’t find my mug so he told me he loves me ten times as much and got me the mugs to prove it!’

This is absolute genius. Please do this.