Page 13 | MIL has my Valentine gift

CloudySuns · 2023-02-14T07:57:45+00:00

About 5 years ago, DH bought me a few gifts for valentines day including a mug, it was very distinctive being red with 'love you' on it. I really liked this mug. It would cheer me up whenever I looked at it, it was a perfect size for my coffee, comfy handle, just a nice mug. I used it daily. A few years ago we stayed with MIL between house moves for 4 weeks, and I took my favourite mug. I noticed her using it a few times, fine, okay, fair enough we were staying there. But when we moved out, and I couldn't find this mug. I swear I packed it but it wasn't in the box with other mugs. The next time we visited MIL, I noticed my mug in her cupboard. I thought oh good, I can't have packed it! I brought it out and said I'd been looking for it and phew there it was! She said NO that's her mug. That someone bought it for her. I asked who? She couldn't remember. This mug is very distinctive, even with a little scratch I made by accident the first week I had it, so I know it's my mug. Of course I'd be a right knob to have argued further, so I put it back in her cupboard. It's just a mug but every valentines day I think about it and it irks me! It was my mug!

mustgetoffmn · 15/02/2023 23:38

plumduck · 14/02/2023 08:15

Your DH should have stepped in a lot sooner. It's too late now.

Why too late?

Jillybloop393 · 15/02/2023 23:52

Yep, I'm in the 'Steal it back' brigade!!

T1Dmama · 16/02/2023 01:21

Is this real?? 😂

The mug says I LOVE YOU on it….. and she can’t remember who got it for her?!… yeah right we all have an ‘I love you’ cup from some random we don’t remember !

abilouhardy · 16/02/2023 02:14

eastegg · 15/02/2023 22:35

This is absolute genius. Please do this.

Show quote history

trying not to wake the baby I am lying next to with my laughing out loud. Bloody brilliant. Please please do this.

FfaCoffi · 16/02/2023 07:00

LittleVoice11 · 15/02/2023 19:59

A ‘friend did this to me 25 years ago, and it still hurts!!

For context, I had worked closely with friend #1 for a couple of years and we had become friends outside of work. Friend #2 was her close pal since childhood and became my friend too way before any of this happened.

The three of us then relocated 150 miles away from home to start new jobs together in the airline industry and moved in to a house together, becoming housemates.

Before we moved away, I’d been given an adorable little soft toy piglet by some of our old colleagues as a leaving gift. It had sentimental value and was really sweet.

Time passed we all got on great, and when we were leaving the house to go our separate ways, friend #1 was scanning the place for her stuff. She picked my piglet up and said how she’d “been looking for this” and packed it away with her things. I said (nicely) how it was mine, but she raised her voice and launched into this massive attack/ rant about how it was 100% hers and she KNEW because there were little ceramic beads in the feet. Friend #2 knew without doubt it was mine because he had seen me unpack it and I had shown him at the time… anyway he just ‘knew’. However friend #1 could be quite dramatic and aggressive at times and myself & #2 are not at all like that. I was completely stuck for words it was awful, she flipped her lid completely!

Friend #2 was standing there in disbelief, and repeated to her how it wasn’t hers it was mine, he was certain - and to give it back, well, he got such a mouthful! We were all good friends and it just didn’t seem worth having a massive row over a toy pig because she was adamant. She went ballistic over it, absolutely convinced it was hers and stuffed it in her case. We just shut up and it was so awkward. I was left doubting myself as well, that is the worst bit! Friend #2 asked me if I was ok afterwards, but I didn’t stand my ground and I wish I had.

I’m still good friends with friend #2 to this day. Even though we changed careers and went our separate ways we keep in touch. We both drifted from friend #1 (long story but she wasn’t very nice to him)

We laugh about it now, he STILL says “remember the little pig??” and how he couldn’t believe it, but truthfully it really hurts and bugs me in a small place deep inside! Completely understand how upset you are and why!

That's nuts! Do you think she actually thought it was her's, or was it some kind of weird power play?

People are odd!

Justine2884 · 16/02/2023 07:38

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

WhereIsMumHiding3 · 16/02/2023 08:21

If you like MIL generally and she doesn't keep doing this kind of thing , then in the buy a new copy of it.
Replace it for your precious Valentine's Day mug stealthily.

Happily use your I love you mug at home. Sharpie marker the bottom with your tiny initials so she can't get it again.

cakemagic1 · 16/02/2023 08:30

My two year old granddaughter is now completely potty trained at 28 months but we are having trouble finding knickers to fit her as she is so tiny , any suggestions please greatly welcome

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 16/02/2023 08:42

cakemagic1 · 16/02/2023 08:30

My two year old granddaughter is now completely potty trained at 28 months but we are having trouble finding knickers to fit her as she is so tiny , any suggestions please greatly welcome

Relevant.

SpiralHecate · 16/02/2023 08:56

Steal it back next time you're over there. Better yet, swap it with a similar mug and then deny all knowledge if she brings it up.

Venerable · 16/02/2023 09:40

Let it go. If it is that important buy the new one. Save the postage by getting it delivered to your local Sainsbury’s or get DH to buy it again for you. It’s his mother after all. Don’t break hers. That’s just lowering yourself. Be the better person.

whynotwhatknot · 16/02/2023 10:02

i think youre the mug in this. just take it back

Emotionalsupportviper · 16/02/2023 10:06

LittleVoice11 · 15/02/2023 19:59

A ‘friend did this to me 25 years ago, and it still hurts!!

For context, I had worked closely with friend #1 for a couple of years and we had become friends outside of work. Friend #2 was her close pal since childhood and became my friend too way before any of this happened.

The three of us then relocated 150 miles away from home to start new jobs together in the airline industry and moved in to a house together, becoming housemates.

Before we moved away, I’d been given an adorable little soft toy piglet by some of our old colleagues as a leaving gift. It had sentimental value and was really sweet.

Time passed we all got on great, and when we were leaving the house to go our separate ways, friend #1 was scanning the place for her stuff. She picked my piglet up and said how she’d “been looking for this” and packed it away with her things. I said (nicely) how it was mine, but she raised her voice and launched into this massive attack/ rant about how it was 100% hers and she KNEW because there were little ceramic beads in the feet. Friend #2 knew without doubt it was mine because he had seen me unpack it and I had shown him at the time… anyway he just ‘knew’. However friend #1 could be quite dramatic and aggressive at times and myself & #2 are not at all like that. I was completely stuck for words it was awful, she flipped her lid completely!

Friend #2 was standing there in disbelief, and repeated to her how it wasn’t hers it was mine, he was certain - and to give it back, well, he got such a mouthful! We were all good friends and it just didn’t seem worth having a massive row over a toy pig because she was adamant. She went ballistic over it, absolutely convinced it was hers and stuffed it in her case. We just shut up and it was so awkward. I was left doubting myself as well, that is the worst bit! Friend #2 asked me if I was ok afterwards, but I didn’t stand my ground and I wish I had.

I’m still good friends with friend #2 to this day. Even though we changed careers and went our separate ways we keep in touch. We both drifted from friend #1 (long story but she wasn’t very nice to him)

We laugh about it now, he STILL says “remember the little pig??” and how he couldn’t believe it, but truthfully it really hurts and bugs me in a small place deep inside! Completely understand how upset you are and why!

That's horrible!

If it's any consolation that pig will have brought her no luck.

I'll bet there hasn't been a day gone by when she hasn't stepped on Lego, or the pointy bits of a plug, or laddered her last pair of tights just before an important meeting or found an unidentified curly black hair in her M&S meal deal sandwich . . .

TaraMock · 16/02/2023 10:06

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 16/02/2023 08:42

Relevant.

Show quote history

I presume it is mis-posted rather than the poster thinking it's relevant.
Maybe try be helpful rather than rude?

@cakemagic1 You should start your own thread & you'll get better advice.

Emotionalsupportviper · 16/02/2023 10:12

nannykatherine · 15/02/2023 21:15

I would just take it back
I wouldn’t even care if she saw me

Show quote history

Same here.

I would not only be prepared to die on this hill, but I would plant an effing great flag on it and built a machine gun turret.

I didn't get where I am today by being the "better person".

Being the "better person" is a sub-categoryof "being king", which has got women into the position of "doormat" all over the world.

TAKE BACK THE MUG! SUPPOSING YOU DELIBERATELY BREAK IT WITH A HAMMER BEFORE HER VERY EYES BECAUSE IT IS NOW CONTAMINATED - TAKE IT BACK!!!!!

(Petty? Moi? )

Emotionalsupportviper · 16/02/2023 10:15

eastegg · 15/02/2023 22:35

This is absolute genius. Please do this.

Show quote history

If you need to crowdfund for this, let me know @CloudySuns .

Mlsweetpea · 16/02/2023 12:00

I would just take it back..i had a similar thing with my MIL, husband was staying there before we got married as I had to work abroad for some time. So all our stuff was at theirs. Including 2 handmade wine glasses we bought from a local market directly from the artist in France when we were having a road trip. They were quite unique colour and small ones so hard to mix. Well one day I am visiting husband, I saw the glasses in his mothers cupboard. I asked him why they were out of box and in use, I have not used them myself yet..husband was like "she probably liked them and put them in the cupboard but she knows it is ours, we can take it with us when you are back and we have our own place", well i moved back, we moved to our ownplace but those glasses stayed in that cupboard although I asked for them few times. So one day when we went there to pick up some of husbands stuff, his parents were not home so I went to the cupboard and took my glasses. No questions asked afterwards...

Emotionalsupportviper · 16/02/2023 12:15

That's the way to deal with it, Misweetpea

Ponoka7 · 16/02/2023 13:11

cakemagic1 · 16/02/2023 08:30

My two year old granddaughter is now completely potty trained at 28 months but we are having trouble finding knickers to fit her as she is so tiny , any suggestions please greatly welcome

Have you tried Primark? They are small fitting and start from 18 months.

LittleVoice11 · 16/02/2023 15:20

FfaCoffi · 16/02/2023 07:00

That's nuts! Do you think she actually thought it was her's, or was it some kind of weird power play?

People are odd!

Show quote history

No idea but the sheer ferocity of the attack / insistence that it was hers completely took me aback and I was speechless! I think when some people do this, they must genuinely believe it’s theirs!!!

LittleVoice11 · 16/02/2023 15:34

Emotionalsupportviper · 16/02/2023 10:06

That's horrible!

If it's any consolation that pig will have brought her no luck.

I'll bet there hasn't been a day gone by when she hasn't stepped on Lego, or the pointy bits of a plug, or laddered her last pair of tights just before an important meeting or found an unidentified curly black hair in her M&S meal deal sandwich . . .

Show quote history

Thank you :-) it was only a little pig but it meant a lot and it kind of had implications on the friendship too, as you don’t forget weird behaviour like that easily. Bit like the OP… that relationship is now clouded, and all over a mug, but she knows she is right.

We never spoke about it again but did drift apart afterwards and might not have, had that event not taken place. So over the grand course of things behaviour like that will get you nowhere. And I bet I wasn’t the only one to be on the receiving end of an outburst! Xx

Original poster

CloudySuns · 16/02/2023 19:34

LittleVoice11 · 15/02/2023 19:59

A ‘friend did this to me 25 years ago, and it still hurts!!

For context, I had worked closely with friend #1 for a couple of years and we had become friends outside of work. Friend #2 was her close pal since childhood and became my friend too way before any of this happened.

The three of us then relocated 150 miles away from home to start new jobs together in the airline industry and moved in to a house together, becoming housemates.

Before we moved away, I’d been given an adorable little soft toy piglet by some of our old colleagues as a leaving gift. It had sentimental value and was really sweet.

Time passed we all got on great, and when we were leaving the house to go our separate ways, friend #1 was scanning the place for her stuff. She picked my piglet up and said how she’d “been looking for this” and packed it away with her things. I said (nicely) how it was mine, but she raised her voice and launched into this massive attack/ rant about how it was 100% hers and she KNEW because there were little ceramic beads in the feet. Friend #2 knew without doubt it was mine because he had seen me unpack it and I had shown him at the time… anyway he just ‘knew’. However friend #1 could be quite dramatic and aggressive at times and myself & #2 are not at all like that. I was completely stuck for words it was awful, she flipped her lid completely!

Friend #2 was standing there in disbelief, and repeated to her how it wasn’t hers it was mine, he was certain - and to give it back, well, he got such a mouthful! We were all good friends and it just didn’t seem worth having a massive row over a toy pig because she was adamant. She went ballistic over it, absolutely convinced it was hers and stuffed it in her case. We just shut up and it was so awkward. I was left doubting myself as well, that is the worst bit! Friend #2 asked me if I was ok afterwards, but I didn’t stand my ground and I wish I had.

I’m still good friends with friend #2 to this day. Even though we changed careers and went our separate ways we keep in touch. We both drifted from friend #1 (long story but she wasn’t very nice to him)

We laugh about it now, he STILL says “remember the little pig??” and how he couldn’t believe it, but truthfully it really hurts and bugs me in a small place deep inside! Completely understand how upset you are and why!

I was 99% prepared to let this go.

But after reading the replies and especially your story, I've decided I hsve to get my mug back.

I really, really want you to get your little pig back, but if there's no way of doing this then the least I can do is get my mug.

It should be easy to get it back, she insists that I make the tea/coffee when we visit. I promise I will update.

OP posts:

StanleyBriggs · 16/02/2023 19:39

"she insists that I make the tea/coffee when we visit"

WTF peculiarer and peculiarer.

I love the idea of the stolen pig injustice being spiritually redeemed by machinations of the Sainsbury's mug. Surely this will restore the balance in the world and solve most of our problems.

KarmaStar · 16/02/2023 19:50

I would buy a cheap mug with some sort of heart of love words on the present it to mil from both of you with LOTS of love so she will never forget who have it to her..😀and take back yours saying you remember dh buying it for you and how lovely you will both have a sentimental mug.😂💗

LittleVoice11 · 16/02/2023 22:04

I really hope you get it back because it’s way more important than the stolen pig, (being a special gift!) and I look forward to hearing if you do!! :-) xx