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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Twattiest colleague ever?

290 replies

PixiePolka · 13/02/2023 19:12

AIBU to think I work with the biggest twat ever?

A couple of weeks ago I slept in and was going to be a bit late for work. In my half asleep panic I was trying to come up with an excuse but all I could think of was to say there was a big traffic jam on my way to work as no-one in my team lives in my direction to say otherwise.

I was quickly googling to try and find a photo of a traffic jam on my phone so it looked like I was in a big queue to give me time to get a shower. I tried finding a photo that looked like it had been taken from inside my car model (a renault) but couldn't so instead I scrolled down for one that looked as if I'd stuck my phone out of the car window and taken one.

I posted the photo on our team whatsapp with caption saying "sorry really horrendous traffic this morning so will be a few mins late" with that monkey emoji with hands over it's eyes. My manager saw it and said something along the lines of "no worries PixiePolka take your time and get here safe" and I thought that I was off the hook and quickly got in the shower.

Anyway by the time I got out literally 3 mins later all hell had broken loose on the team chat. I'd somehow posted a picture of a french road with cars on the other side of the road and french number plates. My manager had obviously not noticed but this annoying older bloke on our team had clearly scrutinised the picture and started making wisecracks on the chat like "you'll be more than a few minutes late Pixie - you still need to get through the chunnel" and "any chance you could pick up some pain au chocolat from the boulangerie" which totally dropped me in it as my manager hadn't even noticed.

Thing is two weeks later this bloke still won't let it lie and when it was my turn to get Friday treats he said in front of everyone including our director "perhaps you could get some freshly baked croissants on your way in tomorrow" and everyone started laughing so it had to be explained to the big boss which made me look really bad for lying. Every day he makes about three crap jokes about me travelling in from France.

Also now when he sees me go into the toilet he starts singing this stupid french song about having no toilet paper with the chorus "Ou est le papier".

I just want to make him stop without letting him know he's getting to me. Any suggestions?

OP posts:
Jifmicroliquid · 13/02/2023 22:42

Your colleague is brilliant 😂
You got caught lying so You’re going to have to expect a bit of ribbing for a while.

TheRealHousewife · 13/02/2023 22:45

Goodness you’re human and humans sometimes oversleep. If I was in that position I’d just fess up I’d overslept and I’d be in asap and make up my time.

LovePoppy · 13/02/2023 22:46

yes, you do sound like a twatty coworker

Didyeaye · 13/02/2023 22:46

@EarringsandLipstick thanks for the outstanding typo. I was already amused but that made me laugh 😆

Ilovetea13 · 13/02/2023 22:52

Sorry but I can't stop laughing 😂😂
This is something I would do too 🙈
Id just make a joke out of it to your colleague and laugh about it, nothing more you can do - no point getting upset or annoyed over it.
It's just one of life's embarrassing moments you'll laugh about it in a few months x

Mum97540 · 13/02/2023 22:54

Thank you this is the best thread in ages. He sounds hilarious. I think he's laughing with you.

blippyissilly · 13/02/2023 23:04

How embarrassing for you

Reminds me of this stupid woman at my work that sent in a photo of a positive Covid test and got caught out and made to come in lol

Don't lie

DixonD · 13/02/2023 23:10

ensayers · 13/02/2023 19:20

Maybe at your place of work being late is no big issue... you're lucky if that's the case. I hope u appreciate what you've got.

Show quote history

My place is like this. No one notices if you’re late! But then no one takes the piss either.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 13/02/2023 23:49

Yes, you're right, you are the twattiest colleague ever!!!

WetLettuce2 · 14/02/2023 00:11

Given that this is so specific that it’s already outing, please post the photo you WhatsApp’d😁

RandomCatGenerator · 14/02/2023 00:16

2023babyname · 13/02/2023 22:09

no I’d actually have to quit

twattiest colleague ever? Yeah, you are

Yeah I don’t think I’d ever live down the lie!

Dibbydoos · 14/02/2023 00:22

🤣🤣🤣 you got rumbled!
Best thing to do is to join in. He'll eventually stop, but it'll never be forgotten by you, him or the rest of the team!

MathsIsFab · 14/02/2023 00:29

OP je t’aime! Has to be best thread ever on MN!

Hadjab · 14/02/2023 00:40

I believe the phrase the young people use these day is “fuck around and find out.”

you fucked around, now you’re finding out

ConcordeOoter · 14/02/2023 00:43

Maybe next time you avoid the embarrassment of a suspicious and easily debunked photo by recording yourself making "broom broom! Been beeeep!" sounds and send that in, instead. The perfect crime.

The irony is everyone makes mistakes and it is probably fine to just fess up to this.

asblindasabat · 14/02/2023 00:52

Why did you not just be honest and say you slept in?

It’s shit, but it happens to us all from time to time! If you had explained that and been truthful, this would have been avoided.

I’m sure if you had apologised and reiterated that it was a one off, I’m sure no more would have been said. I think lying just makes it worse.

KenAdams · 14/02/2023 01:11

Oh hey Live newspapers plageriser

BlueHeelers · 14/02/2023 05:40

YABU.

You’re the twat. And a bad liar.

Offensiveapprently · 14/02/2023 05:47

Sing a bit of Edith Piaff at him.

PoseyFlump · 14/02/2023 05:53

@PixiePolka why should we believe your story? Apparently you tell lies. La menteuse 😂

AnuSTart · 14/02/2023 07:07

Omg you utterly deserve it! What a thing to even think of doing, let alone do and then get it wrong!

Busybutbored · 14/02/2023 07:21

You should've just sent a pic out of any car and said yours was in the garage if someone asked whybit wasnt a Renault. Dummy! 🤣

Georgyporky · 14/02/2023 10:21

OP is the twat, not the colleague.

ItsCalledAConversation · 14/02/2023 12:09

Sense of humour failure evident here. Some people just can’t laugh at themselves! If you’re going to lie, and be caught out because it was such a crap lie, you need to be able to laugh along or you seem like the most stuck up person ever to live.

MaryMcCarthy · 14/02/2023 12:41

You lied to your employers with a hilariously pathetic lie, and you're complaining about how people responded? You deserve everything you get.

In some workplaces that kind of dishonestly would be seen as gross misconduct, or at least a reason to not trust you. If you're willing to go to that effort to lie then people will treat you suspiciously. For good reason.