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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Twattiest colleague ever?

290 replies

PixiePolka · 13/02/2023 19:12

AIBU to think I work with the biggest twat ever?

A couple of weeks ago I slept in and was going to be a bit late for work. In my half asleep panic I was trying to come up with an excuse but all I could think of was to say there was a big traffic jam on my way to work as no-one in my team lives in my direction to say otherwise.

I was quickly googling to try and find a photo of a traffic jam on my phone so it looked like I was in a big queue to give me time to get a shower. I tried finding a photo that looked like it had been taken from inside my car model (a renault) but couldn't so instead I scrolled down for one that looked as if I'd stuck my phone out of the car window and taken one.

I posted the photo on our team whatsapp with caption saying "sorry really horrendous traffic this morning so will be a few mins late" with that monkey emoji with hands over it's eyes. My manager saw it and said something along the lines of "no worries PixiePolka take your time and get here safe" and I thought that I was off the hook and quickly got in the shower.

Anyway by the time I got out literally 3 mins later all hell had broken loose on the team chat. I'd somehow posted a picture of a french road with cars on the other side of the road and french number plates. My manager had obviously not noticed but this annoying older bloke on our team had clearly scrutinised the picture and started making wisecracks on the chat like "you'll be more than a few minutes late Pixie - you still need to get through the chunnel" and "any chance you could pick up some pain au chocolat from the boulangerie" which totally dropped me in it as my manager hadn't even noticed.

Thing is two weeks later this bloke still won't let it lie and when it was my turn to get Friday treats he said in front of everyone including our director "perhaps you could get some freshly baked croissants on your way in tomorrow" and everyone started laughing so it had to be explained to the big boss which made me look really bad for lying. Every day he makes about three crap jokes about me travelling in from France.

Also now when he sees me go into the toilet he starts singing this stupid french song about having no toilet paper with the chorus "Ou est le papier".

I just want to make him stop without letting him know he's getting to me. Any suggestions?

OP posts:
PurpleFlower1983 · 13/02/2023 20:38

This has to be a joke 🤣 If not, why lie in the first place and why send incriminating photographic evidence? This would never be lived down where I work!

DottieUncBab · 13/02/2023 20:39

I don’t understand why you had to send a photo of the traffic….. surely just a “sorry overslept may be slightly late” I don’t know why you lied! Let alone googled for a photo too

Beautiful3 · 13/02/2023 20:44

You really should have just told the truth. We've all done it, no need to lie. I cannot stand lying. Your colleague is so funny pointing out your lie, I'm sorry but you deserved it.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/02/2023 20:45

What’s your boss like? Have you apologised for the dreadful excuse and embarrassed about oversleeping? Are they or anyone else laughing at the jokes?

The day it’s your turn to bring the snacks in, you could throw an curveball by adding a pic from somewhere else “Am on my way. Roads are all clear and picking up snacks en route.” If you can be seen to laugh at yourself, this will blow over faster and if it doesn’t, you can be on the inside of the joke.

Twattiest colleague ever?
Arrrrrrragghhh · 13/02/2023 20:45

You actually want to be in Daily Fail don’t you Op. We know 😉

WetLettuce2 · 13/02/2023 20:49

No sympathy sorry - this is office gold !
Id still be taking the mick out of you at xmas 😂😂😂

AwDrxo · 13/02/2023 20:50

Sorry about your situation but also made me chuckle 🤣

CrescentMoons · 13/02/2023 20:51

whichwaywhere · 13/02/2023 19:16

First rule of getting away with it is to keep it simple.
I'd have said 'Well obviously I just used a stock traffic image to make my point' and then left it and ignored him.

This

Winnet · 13/02/2023 20:52

WetLettuce2 · 13/02/2023 20:49

No sympathy sorry - this is office gold !
Id still be taking the mick out of you at xmas 😂😂😂

I'd have it managed out of my business well before Christmas with that kind of stinking attitude.

CrescentMoons · 13/02/2023 20:54

Ps I once sat next to a very very very important scientist at a conference think Nobel prize winner talking on his phone …,, yes of course I can book you in on Monday blah blah blah and I wasn’t really listening until his phone rang - he just looked like a twat. Why did you need to send an image just don’t lie / argh running late etc

follyfoot37 · 13/02/2023 20:56

I would sack you for lying.
Anyone can oversleep - fair enough. But you showed yourself as a liar and thus untrustworthy

FlissyPaps · 13/02/2023 20:57

This guy sounds hilarious - not a twat!

You were late. You lied. Don’t put the blame on him. Own your mistakes.

I just want to make him stop without letting him know he's getting to me. Any suggestions?

You laugh along with him. Buy some croissants or macaroons and give them to him.

Or you quit your job. Your call.

JudgeRinderonTinder · 13/02/2023 20:59

You idiot 🤣 why did you send a picture? 🤣

Sporty2022 · 13/02/2023 21:00

I’ve slept in before. In all seriousness, it’s much better to be honest and say you overslept. What more can they say ?

It sounds like your work colleague who scrutinised your picture is like Poison Pearce from London’s Burning. ( If anyone on here can remember that programme from the 90s).
He was basically a snitch and a jobs worth.

Hesma · 13/02/2023 21:00

That’s hilarious! You’ve found someone who has out-twatted your twattishness! Long may he continue!

TeamPineapple · 13/02/2023 21:00

Could've been worse @PixiePolka 😄😉

Twattiest colleague ever?
RingRingRingGoesTheTelephone · 13/02/2023 21:01

I know it's not why you posted this story but you made me laugh out loud 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I realise it isn't funny for you, but reading it has had me in stitches. I mean you could have just messaged and left it at that, the picture wasn't necessary 🤷‍♀️. This joke is just going to run and run you know it.

WetLettuce2 · 13/02/2023 21:01

@Winnet · Today 20:52

WetLettuce2 · Today 20:49
No sympathy sorry - this is office gold !
Id still be taking the mick out of you at xmas 😂😂😂
I'd have it managed out of my business well before Christmas with that kind of stinking attitude.

Eh ??

GenuinelyDone · 13/02/2023 21:02

You were caught in a lie, you need to suck up the repercussions.

A colleague of mine tried similar once. Sent a very snowy picture (from a different occasion it turns out) in with an excuse as to why he couldn't come in (pre work from home capabilities). Sitting next to his manager was a female colleague who lived literally across the road who had made it to work in her little Clio and wearing stilettosshe always wears stilettos, can't imagine her calves would let her wear flats!. That aside the buses were running without issue to his part of the city too.

He is still ribbed about it several years later when there's so much as a snowflake in a 50 mile radius.

It'll be a while before you can shake this off.

ShandaLear · 13/02/2023 21:04

Haha - nah, you’ll have to suck this one up. If he suggests you’re going to get croissants, waggle your eyebrows and say, ‘Non, Roger, aujourd’hui c’est pains au chocolat’ with a flourish. If something great happens shout out ‘Douze points’, etc. etc.

Couldyounot · 13/02/2023 21:05

Buy some croissants for the team, be thankful you don't work somewhere that would discipline you for this sort of thing, and don't tell whoppers next time.

Justinsolentnoise · 13/02/2023 21:05

A lot of harsh comments about the lie 😂 Christ, surely everyone has told a white lie before, especially when it comes to work situations? Going for an interview, you’re not going to say you’re going for an interview are you?! I think the guy taking the piss is probably doing so because everyone has told porkies when they’re running late for work, you just had an epic fail with a pic of a French road. Laugh it off and he’ll soon get bored of the joke - or learn how to tell him to fuck off en Francais.

EpicChaos · 13/02/2023 21:06

LOLz! Serves you right, to be fair!

pilates · 13/02/2023 21:07

Honesty is the best policy.

Buy some croissants for your team and all will be forgotten.

BankOfDave · 13/02/2023 21:08

RingRingRingGoesTheTelephone · 13/02/2023 21:01

I know it's not why you posted this story but you made me laugh out loud 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I realise it isn't funny for you, but reading it has had me in stitches. I mean you could have just messaged and left it at that, the picture wasn't necessary 🤷‍♀️. This joke is just going to run and run you know it.

^This.

I know I should feel all sanctimonious at the lie and poor attempt to cover up but it’s funny 😄

You realise it’s not just this guy you need to worry about, you are now that woman in the office and even when you leave there will be stories of ‘the girl who was stuck in French traffic’ 😂

I agree with a PP, best to style it out by doing a European road trip photo montage (without the being late).