Twattiest colleague ever?

[PixiePolka]

AIBU to think I work with the biggest twat ever?

A couple of weeks ago I slept in and was going to be a bit late for work. In my half asleep panic I was trying to come up with an excuse but all I could think of was to say there was a big traffic jam on my way to work as no-one in my team lives in my direction to say otherwise.

I was quickly googling to try and find a photo of a traffic jam on my phone so it looked like I was in a big queue to give me time to get a shower. I tried finding a photo that looked like it had been taken from inside my car model (a renault) but couldn't so instead I scrolled down for one that looked as if I'd stuck my phone out of the car window and taken one.

I posted the photo on our team whatsapp with caption saying "sorry really horrendous traffic this morning so will be a few mins late" with that monkey emoji with hands over it's eyes. My manager saw it and said something along the lines of "no worries PixiePolka take your time and get here safe" and I thought that I was off the hook and quickly got in the shower.

Anyway by the time I got out literally 3 mins later all hell had broken loose on the team chat. I'd somehow posted a picture of a french road with cars on the other side of the road and french number plates. My manager had obviously not noticed but this annoying older bloke on our team had clearly scrutinised the picture and started making wisecracks on the chat like "you'll be more than a few minutes late Pixie - you still need to get through the chunnel" and "any chance you could pick up some pain au chocolat from the boulangerie" which totally dropped me in it as my manager hadn't even noticed.

Thing is two weeks later this bloke still won't let it lie and when it was my turn to get Friday treats he said in front of everyone including our director "perhaps you could get some freshly baked croissants on your way in tomorrow" and everyone started laughing so it had to be explained to the big boss which made me look really bad for lying. Every day he makes about three crap jokes about me travelling in from France.

Also now when he sees me go into the toilet he starts singing this stupid french song about having no toilet paper with the chorus "Ou est le papier".

I just want to make him stop without letting him know he's getting to me. Any suggestions?

I'd actually just go and buy some really nice croissants and pan au chocolat for tomorrow

Begin all your meetings in French until they get bored of it.

Or send photos from a different country each week.

The only way out is for them to tire of the joke or transfer attention to someone else.

You made a twat of yourself and are projecting

🤣🤣🤣🤣 I did wonder

Even if you had been stuck in a traffic jam why would you have needed to take and send a picture; indicating no less that you're using your mobile phone whilst driving.

If this is true then the teasing is well deserved. You're lucky that it's just a few jokes at your expense and the issue hasn't been taken much more seriously.

Sorry but LOL - his responses on the chat and about Friday treats are hilarious. This one's on you op

Ha ha I’d laugh along with him.

@CTRALTDEL for me it would have to be Emily. A La Emily in Paris 🤣

I'm sorry this is hilarious. He is not a twat at all. The only twat in this story is someone who lies and uses google images incorrectly in an attempt to bolster this lie

I love mumsnet at times. This is hilarious. Good one OP!

I think your colleague sounds great!!! Hilarious!! Sorry but you are the twat!! Why didn't you just tell the truth? "So so sorry team, I slept in, I'm on my way! Will be there asap! won't happen again! Sorry!"

YABU!!! And your colleague is fab!! 😉

No, this is totally on you

Yabu

"Tu es déraisonnable!" 😆

Oh come on @PixiePolka , that's really funny. Your team sound great fun and you still have a job and havent been disciplined. You don't actually need to 'do' anything, it'll run it's course.
Or maybe own it, wear a beret to work or perfect a nice shoulder shrug Bof!

You've buried your own grave here, only option now is to take it on and embrace the banter!

Wow, I think you deserved it for being so deceitful (and stupid) tbh. It would make me wonder what else you lie about

I thought it would make it more believable if I put a photo of a traffic jam along with the message but I should have kept it simple. Lesson learnt and I will just have to take the stick. May try bringing in croissants next time it's my turn!

Honestly I think you need to rethink your priorities! Fuck your colleague.

You just got caught out lying to your manager…publicly. Everything you say/do going forward may be scrutinised. You have lost credibility. The next time you’re late or call in sick, they will follow absence procedures to the letter.

Worry about the damage to your reputation and get into damage control mode. You will come across way better by going along with these jokes and coming across as a team player. Make sure you’re on time to work going forward and go above and beyond…the heat will die down.

Can we see the photo please

That's what you get for lying 🤷🏻‍♀️ and your colleague sounds brilliant.

Yes honestly op I think you have to embrace it in good humour now. Maybe wear a beret tomorrow while brandishing a baguette

You completely over egged it OP & deserve the ribbing 😆😅
Is I was your boss I'd be more pissed off that you lied rather than you were late. Thank your lucky stars you still have a job and are only getting a few jokes aimed at you.
Laugh it off and it'll all be over quicker.

How long did you spend on Google images OP? Between that and the shower and concocting the lie in the first place you might have been on time. Honestly! How old are you? This is in “the dog ate my homework” territory.

Bringing in croissants could be a way to make light of the situation, as long as you’re on time for work and aren’t distracting your colleagues eg by chatting as you hand them out or doing something to draw extra attention

That’s actually a good idea, make a joke of it yourself! Laugh with them, because you look like an idiot regardless so you may as well embrace it rather than being stroppy about it. How does a photo make it more believable anyway? Had they figured out your a liar before this? Can’t see why anyone would question it unless you’ve been caught out before.