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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Twattiest colleague ever?

290 replies

PixiePolka · 13/02/2023 19:12

AIBU to think I work with the biggest twat ever?

A couple of weeks ago I slept in and was going to be a bit late for work. In my half asleep panic I was trying to come up with an excuse but all I could think of was to say there was a big traffic jam on my way to work as no-one in my team lives in my direction to say otherwise.

I was quickly googling to try and find a photo of a traffic jam on my phone so it looked like I was in a big queue to give me time to get a shower. I tried finding a photo that looked like it had been taken from inside my car model (a renault) but couldn't so instead I scrolled down for one that looked as if I'd stuck my phone out of the car window and taken one.

I posted the photo on our team whatsapp with caption saying "sorry really horrendous traffic this morning so will be a few mins late" with that monkey emoji with hands over it's eyes. My manager saw it and said something along the lines of "no worries PixiePolka take your time and get here safe" and I thought that I was off the hook and quickly got in the shower.

Anyway by the time I got out literally 3 mins later all hell had broken loose on the team chat. I'd somehow posted a picture of a french road with cars on the other side of the road and french number plates. My manager had obviously not noticed but this annoying older bloke on our team had clearly scrutinised the picture and started making wisecracks on the chat like "you'll be more than a few minutes late Pixie - you still need to get through the chunnel" and "any chance you could pick up some pain au chocolat from the boulangerie" which totally dropped me in it as my manager hadn't even noticed.

Thing is two weeks later this bloke still won't let it lie and when it was my turn to get Friday treats he said in front of everyone including our director "perhaps you could get some freshly baked croissants on your way in tomorrow" and everyone started laughing so it had to be explained to the big boss which made me look really bad for lying. Every day he makes about three crap jokes about me travelling in from France.

Also now when he sees me go into the toilet he starts singing this stupid french song about having no toilet paper with the chorus "Ou est le papier".

I just want to make him stop without letting him know he's getting to me. Any suggestions?

OP posts:
TheGoogleMum · 13/02/2023 21:50

Haha! Sorry but I think that deserves a little teasing! Sending a photo was silly, I never send a photo when I'm stuck in traffic. They could verify by googling traffic reports anyway, so best to just admit to oversleeping!

Justalittlebitduckling · 13/02/2023 21:51

I love this guy. He sounds hilarious 😂

Justalittlebitduckling · 13/02/2023 21:54

Next time just say your dog/child’s rabbit escaped or you got a puncture or something like that. Or couldn’t remember turning off the hair straighteners and had to turn back and check. Traffic jam is too easy to look up on Google.

Original poster
PixiePolka · 13/02/2023 21:55

ClairDeLaLune · 13/02/2023 21:49

Bring him in an egg, and tell him you’ve had “un œuf” of his bad jokes 😂

The quality of this response is the reason I posted on mumsnet. I am so taking an egg in with me tomorrow and saying this 😄

OP posts:
Cocobutt · 13/02/2023 22:05

Did you not get in trouble for lying?

In the time it took you to faff around looking for a photo from the same make of your car - you could have been on the way to work and have been less late.

Did you really need a shower that it couldn’t have waited?
Could you not just have said your car wouldn’t start, had a flat tire, alarm broke, heavy traffic etc.

Canthave2manycats · 13/02/2023 22:06

What an absolutely stupid thing to do - sorry, colleague may be a twat but you got there first!

Feelsolowrightnow · 13/02/2023 22:07

😂😂Sorry but that’s funny, plus he sounds funny too…could he possibly fancy you a bit too? You have to admit it’s pretty funny

Boomboom22 · 13/02/2023 22:09

I'd watch out as you have outed yourself as someone who not only lies but with full intent too. Most people would message and jump in the car without a shower!

2023babyname · 13/02/2023 22:09

no I’d actually have to quit

twattiest colleague ever? Yeah, you are

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 13/02/2023 22:12

😂😂 funniest post I've read in a while!

WeepingSomnambulist · 13/02/2023 22:12

Feelsolowrightnow · 13/02/2023 22:07

😂😂Sorry but that’s funny, plus he sounds funny too…could he possibly fancy you a bit too? You have to admit it’s pretty funny

Are you 12?

No, he probably doesnt fancy her.

IloveRickyGervaisAndHisTeeth · 13/02/2023 22:13

I think you were the twat, actually.

Mouthfulofquiz · 13/02/2023 22:16

Yeah I’d be pretty pissed off if a colleague tried lying like this. You deserve the piss taking and hopefully will just get up in time in the future!

NotTerfNorCis · 13/02/2023 22:20

Actually sympathise with the OP on this one. Yeah what she did was crazy, but when someone goes on about a thing for too long it turns into a kind of mental torture, just tedious never ending harassment.

HoppingPavlova · 13/02/2023 22:23

I imagine your colleagues view you as an enormous twat. Nothing to do with your colleague, everything to do with you. What’s more you are now viewed as an untrustworthy, lying twat with the behaviour of an average 12yo. Again, all on you, nothing to do with your colleague.

Handy hints. Just say you are running late, no need to fabricate. Unless you wet yourself during the night or similar skip the shower in such an instance and just haul your arse into work. Don’t dock around on your phone looking around for phoney photos, just haul your arse into work.

whataplonka · 13/02/2023 22:24

This needs to be told in Graham's red chair!

MrBallensWife · 13/02/2023 22:26

😆😆Surely the time you spent googling a photo could have been spent getting ready so you would be less late?.I'd have just been honest and said I'd overslept.
You're colleague sounds hilarious and your post did make me chuckle.
Next time,just be honest!🤣.

GG1986 · 13/02/2023 22:27

This is so funny 😁 😂 😀 🤣 😆 do people really send fake pics of traffic jams and send to work colleagues when late??!! Just message or call to say you are going to be late next time.

Tildatada · 13/02/2023 22:28

You silly sausage, if you’re going to lie don’t add too much detail for anyone to pick apart. He doesn’t sound like a twat he sounds funny, but I can appreciate that it’s annoying if he won’t let it go.

Here’s one that happened to me when I was in my teens. The key snapped off in the door lock and there was no else home so had to wait for a lock smith. Keep that in your back pocket although I’m not sure anyone would believe you now!

ThinWomansBrain · 13/02/2023 22:31

Twattiest colleague ever?

Yes, I think you probably are.

NorseKiwi · 13/02/2023 22:35

this had me in stitches with laughter!

LucyWhipple · 13/02/2023 22:35

Waaah! You deserve it and frankly need to feel grateful you’re getting off with a bit of a ribbing rather than losing your job.

You’ve outed yourself as a liar now OP…what on earth were you thinking so wasting time finding a fake photo???

Benjispruce4 · 13/02/2023 22:39

I can’t believed you googled an image!! Just saying there’s a jam is enough. Your colleague is very funny. How embarrassing though. Lesson learnt though eh?

StrictlyPrue · 13/02/2023 22:41

Am I the only person who has googled "Renault stuck in traffic" to see potential images the OP might have used? Absolutely hilarious, had to read it twice.

TrishM80 · 13/02/2023 22:41

Well I must be a twatty work colleague then, because if someone in my team pulled a stunt like that and got found out, I would never stop reminding them!