Twattiest colleague ever?

[PixiePolka]

AIBU to think I work with the biggest twat ever?

A couple of weeks ago I slept in and was going to be a bit late for work. In my half asleep panic I was trying to come up with an excuse but all I could think of was to say there was a big traffic jam on my way to work as no-one in my team lives in my direction to say otherwise.

I was quickly googling to try and find a photo of a traffic jam on my phone so it looked like I was in a big queue to give me time to get a shower. I tried finding a photo that looked like it had been taken from inside my car model (a renault) but couldn't so instead I scrolled down for one that looked as if I'd stuck my phone out of the car window and taken one.

I posted the photo on our team whatsapp with caption saying "sorry really horrendous traffic this morning so will be a few mins late" with that monkey emoji with hands over it's eyes. My manager saw it and said something along the lines of "no worries PixiePolka take your time and get here safe" and I thought that I was off the hook and quickly got in the shower.

Anyway by the time I got out literally 3 mins later all hell had broken loose on the team chat. I'd somehow posted a picture of a french road with cars on the other side of the road and french number plates. My manager had obviously not noticed but this annoying older bloke on our team had clearly scrutinised the picture and started making wisecracks on the chat like "you'll be more than a few minutes late Pixie - you still need to get through the chunnel" and "any chance you could pick up some pain au chocolat from the boulangerie" which totally dropped me in it as my manager hadn't even noticed.

Thing is two weeks later this bloke still won't let it lie and when it was my turn to get Friday treats he said in front of everyone including our director "perhaps you could get some freshly baked croissants on your way in tomorrow" and everyone started laughing so it had to be explained to the big boss which made me look really bad for lying. Every day he makes about three crap jokes about me travelling in from France.

Also now when he sees me go into the toilet he starts singing this stupid french song about having no toilet paper with the chorus "Ou est le papier".

I just want to make him stop without letting him know he's getting to me. Any suggestions?

Im sorry but this is so funny

You absolute idiot! 😂

I think you have to own it. Go in tomorrow wearing a beret with a pile of croissants for your co-workers.

Ah yes do this…you could have a whole series with you “driving” from different locations and bringing in themed snacks.

Themed snack?

Humble pie would be a start!

We have a lot of good-natured banter in our office and it would be management that would be leading the way on the french-themed jokes here. And you'd be fully forgiven for fibbing if you took it on the chin and even parried back one or two french jokes yourself.

@PixiePolka you're on Twitter - twitter.com/mumsnet_madness/status/1625483828515987457

No he’s funny and it’s funny 😆 if it were me I’d laugh too

I’d have told the truth because

1. I have an understanding boss who realises that we’re not robots and sometimes life gets in the way
2. I am rarely late

but if you are regularly late maybe look at your nighttime and morning routine.

your colleague is a massive 🛎️ end throw some blue Stilton in his face or stick some under his chair

I am pretty sure in our workplace that would be a sackable offence. Certainly the OP would never be trusted again by anyone in the office.

I recall one of my colleagues once did not turn up. At 10 am I texted her;

Me; 'Is everything okay?'
her- 'Yes, why?'
Me 'You are not at work'
Her'It's Saturday'
Me; 'It's Friday'.

She just lives around the corner and was in 15 minutes later in a panic.

Now THAT was funny.

Hahahahahaha followed

Why didn't you just send an sms to your line manager and leave everyone else out of it? And just say you were running late?

Yeah but you did lie. You need to take this one on the chin love. Where I work, this wouldn’t be forgotten about for years!! Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time Pinocchio.

My suggestion: Next time, tell the truth. When you lie, it makes your co-workers wonder if they can trust you.

I came back to read this another time because it’s so hilarious!!

😂 This is classic OP!
It's hard to believe you felt the need to back it up with a photo...are you quite young?
Croissants for everyone on cake day and keep your head down for a bit.