to be utterly sick of this maddeningly nonsensical bit of corporate wankspeak?

[MossyOilTank]

What is with the phrase "the piece" ... for example, "it's the piece around engagement with stakeholders" ... "the piece on communicating key messages" ... "the piece about maximizing outputs". IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.

I’ll see your piece and add space.

what’s happening in the accounts space then?

There's so much of this meaningless shit around -

deep dives
due diligence

A pox on your pieces and spaces.

We have far too much of this in my industry too.

There’s a skill to using plain language but it tends to expose a lack of substance.

What?

Please tell me you're joking. Both of these are actual, legitimate names of things.

“The piece” is just a shortened way of saying “the piece of work” .. of course it means something

“Due Diligence” is a legal requirement around procurement … we need more if that (PPE springs to mind)

LOL at due diligence being corporate wank-speak

journey

How can we make a feedback loop?

DH frequently 'jumps' onto calls. I say nothing.

you are on mute!

we need to evolve

My DH is always taking the piss out of me talking about the customer journey/user journey/journey planning!

Also things like product vision and roadmap!!!

All BS!

It’s all just ways to make perfectly simple, ordinary things sound like rocket science so people can get even more of an ego kick from being involved in such lofty (ordinary) work.

Along with saying “yeah?” in an aggressive tone. Every few words.

‘Deep dives’ often feel somewhat shall

Shallow. That is.

I remember when trying to arrange meetings, people would say they'd need to pick a window. Why couldn't they just say we'll sort out a time.

There is plenty of low hanging fruit here but we can't let everyone into the tent. Let's take it offline.

And ”deep dive” never actually means that at all now anyway, so if you then go and ask questions assuming that any kind of detailed in-depth analysis has been carried out, the twit who called it a “deep dive” in the first place gets upset and/or annoyed that they can’t answer your perfectly reasonable/sensible/polite queries.

@Shockhorror22 mine 'hops' onto his calls.

And on the subject of calls, when did company-wide meetings become 'all-hands'? Pretending to be sailors doesn't make them any less boring

I came across “solutionise” the other day.
Pass me the sick bowl.

Oh god, someone at my work bangs on about where they have stored ‘assets’. They mean images, for social media. Makes me die inside.

We have a daily stand-up where everyone is sitting down.

Ugh bloody customer journey.

“The piece” is just a shortened way of saying “the piece of work” .. of course it means something

That's hardly something that needs shortening, but if it did 'the work' would be better than making it into a Scottish sandwich.