to be utterly sick of this maddeningly nonsensical bit of corporate wankspeak?

[MossyOilTank]

What is with the phrase "the piece" ... for example, "it's the piece around engagement with stakeholders" ... "the piece on communicating key messages" ... "the piece about maximizing outputs". IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.

Bring back Gus and Drop the Dead Donkey 😉

Language does change, though.

Some of these are clearly ewwwwwwww 🤮 (carbon me in 😳😳), but things like 'reach out' etc are generally evolutions.

I'm sure 'get in touch' was derided once.

The company I work for celebrates diversity and invites employees to “bring your whole self to work”. I’m still trying to work out how I’d bring in 3/4 of myself in and leave the other 1/4 on the bus.

Hate all the nonsense phrases from my US colleagues that now pervade our office:

“Hey Eastie, I wanted to circle back on what we were discussing the other day”;
“Let’s take this offline”;
“Bring your A game”
“Disruptive” (I work for a tech company and any new start up worth its salt must be disruptive)
”SO excited to…” Americans seem to feel excited about every call, meeting and any other mundane shit we deal with.

"please describe the mood music around xyz topic" arrghgghggggg no there is no mood music; I will not describe it

@FermisLeftFoot

I moved a series of images from one firm to another under IP transfer. They were very much referred to as assets.

‘Close of play’ is horrendous.
‘Going forward’

This thread is giving me PTSD.

The main ones I hear every time I'm in an internal non work context group are:

reach out (by far the most frequent)

journey (especially "my mama journey" and "our pregnancy journey")

space - as in everything being a "space" not a room or a building or a flat or office etc.

I also hear the tent one - it just means letting or inviting people to be part of a separate, smaller group or letting more people in on "insider" information, for example about an in demand resource like tickets to something which is likely to sell out fast.

We never have meeting without at least one "great build" (translation - shit idea, I am going to ignore it, can we move on), and a "really good provocation" (translation - You don't know what you are talking about but I dont want to say that, can we just move on). We have lots more ways of shutting people down "nicely".

Oh god @Eastie77Returns my employer is doing the same! ‘Bring your authentic self to work!’

Conveniently ignoring the fact we’re 35k employees strong globally, and by that fact alone, our authentic self is bound to piss off or offend some people without even trying. Filters are good, and should be used, imo

Going to add to the corporate b/s wagon with ‘all hands’ meeting. Wtf is that about. So tired of repurposed military / US sport terminology repackaged into corporate drivel.

Not sure why this is so hard for you to understand, assets is a very common way to refer to a range of formats used for marking.

Its industry terminology, not corporate wank speak.

Assets refers to images, videos, banners, GIFs, print materials, the list goes on

You not understanding a word doesn’t mean it’s corporate bullshit

Wank speak in education too🙄🤣

TBF 'due dilgence' is actually quite important in my work

one that gets me is “service user”. Awful

I wish due diligence was just wank speak 😂

I'm going to drop this in during our team meeting next week and on some other calls just to see if I can make it take off 🤣

Nominating ‘let’s push the envelope on this’ wtf does it mean. Drop it in a postbox never to be seen again? Deliver it? Go on strike?

we’re also big fans of solutioning atm. I am ashamed to admit ‘reaching out’ has now become a standard phrase of mine, there’s no hope

We have to elevate things. All the time.

Oh I hear you! I have a client who puts some tortured English on a page and leaves a comment "feel free to wordsmith". Mostly I'm inclined to just put it out of its misery...

Optics - there is one senior manager at my place who always asks ‘what are the optics on that?’ Puts me in mind of pubs.

Went to a talk by a cyber security firm where they kept talking about ‘boots on the ground’. Don’t make out you’re regularly in some sort of Black Hawk Down scenario.

I think you're missing the entire point that the phrases are being used outside their industry specific context in a way that carries less accurate meaning than plain English! For example IT terms being used out of context in health care or education, or management speak being used at home.

Some of it is just fluff and ego though - hopping on a call or reaching out aren't technical terms and convey less meaning than the word usage they replace.

Language sometimes evolves and sometimes deteriorates.

Nothing has to remain static if it can be improved but equally change for it's own sake isn't always change for the better.

DH’s new boss uses due diligence all the time in wrong and wanky ways.

Including “please do due diligence before submitting holiday requests”.

Which any normal person would just say “check the calendar as if there’s already two off you can’t be”.

He also used it in reference to people’s travel arrangements during the train strikes.

I hear you! I absolutely hate it, most of it makes no sense!
I’ve just done a leadership module for an MSc in advanced practice. Shit loads of corporate crap!
if I spoke to my team using their terminology, nobody would have a clue what I was trying to do.

that is the second time i have seen you have despaired
perhaps move forward yourself, @Keylimewhy , try another thread?

I think this one is best avoided as it sounds both very sexiest and potentially racist or at least culturally insensitive!

I’ve still not come to terms with ‘going forward’ or ‘circling back’ yet!