to be utterly sick of this maddeningly nonsensical bit of corporate wankspeak?

[MossyOilTank]

What is with the phrase "the piece" ... for example, "it's the piece around engagement with stakeholders" ... "the piece on communicating key messages" ... "the piece about maximizing outputs". IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.

Different but related: any email (normally from someone you've never met before) that ends "Warmest regards". Makes me shudder.

@panachronic 'stand down' where I work applies to a person - it's very military. Someone stands down or is stood down from a duty or task.

I haven't heard it being applied to a meeting, not to say it can't of course .

Solutioneering

Verbing nouns. (See what I did there?). Like action, diarise, solution.
Last week I heard "balcony meeting". And "fact pack" for a report document.

an email sent at 8.30 this morning, have a lovely weekend!
really?
i still have to get through today!

Nothing will make me think lesser of a person quicker than hearing them peacocking around the office, loudly spouting corporate gobshite to try to assert themselves as hot shit. Unless maybe they were to drop kick a puppy off a bridge.

It just makes them seem so inadequate and insecure.

Your truth/our truth - basically lying but referring to as truths

Coparenting

Conscious uncoupling

I can’t bear nouning verbs: like ‘invite’.

I actually can’t think of anymore.

@MossyOilTank
i dont think this should have been AIBU because there are a lot of argumentative people on here unnecessarily - with a sense of humour failure!

I think "the piece" translates as "the issue".

I don't work in this sort of industry (nor indeed in an English language environment) but when I do socialise with international English speakers English speakers I hear these terms used in non workplace conversation! It really is quite off putting but I think in some circles speakers of American English (outside America in this context, not necessarily American citizens) / "international English" have adopted corporate speak as general purpose English 😱

Or a “town hall” wtf

This isn't corporate wankspeak, it's just industry terminology

Yes, it is a military term, and was used to refer to meetings in a hospital I worked in recently. Each time I heard it I rolled my eyes so hard they almost got stuck in the back of my head. I also hate jump on a call.

I use 'have a lovely weekend' to mean, 'don't you fucking dare reply to me about this today, I have washed my hands of it til Monday'

Glad to see the back of 'solutions' though! We would sit at the back of achool training days playing managerial speak bingo. One year we made our own phrase book, it had the pages divided into three, a beginning on the first pile of the three, a middle pile of phrases on the middle sections and an end on the third sections, we would then randomly choose a first second and third part and work it into some report.

think you could be right @FallopianTubeTrain

“Lived experience “ - is there any other kind?

Sick of hearing about "stories' .Let's present stories, let's describe customer experiences as a story!!

Sorry, that was extremely waffly - too much of a deep dive? My youngest was reaching out to throw ideas on delaying bedtime around - really should have taken that off line, had too many balls in the air ...

Or something 🤣

That one is also sexist and now very frowned upon.

As usual with this type of thread, 90% of posters end up looking like idiots for thinking something is corporate wank speech when they just don’t understand what it means, or it’s industry specific terminology.

embarrassing

Quick and dirty
If you're not on the bus

Social care managers at their finest.
It was hard to stop my eyebrows taking off when I heard this shit

"Thanks for reaching out"

I HATE that one. As opposed to what sort of experience, something you read in a book? (not you personally, obvs).

Loving this thread, making me chuckle!!

Never heard deep dive but makes me think of muff diving!!