to be utterly sick of this maddeningly nonsensical bit of corporate wankspeak?

[MossyOilTank]

What is with the phrase "the piece" ... for example, "it's the piece around engagement with stakeholders" ... "the piece on communicating key messages" ... "the piece about maximizing outputs". IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.

I’m with you @whatwasIgoingtosay

what’s wrong with asking to go into more detail?

I think we work at the same company 😒

I've worked on an agile project over Teams - so much wankery. People quickly worked out that "let's have a pomodoro" is the grown-up equivalent of schoolchildren being told to read quietly for a bit (while teacher has a rest). No-one ever came back from a pomodoro having done a load of focused work.

Or talent management ...

Our HR department is called People and Talent.

Oh and i used to work someone where it was Talent and Culture.

I had to look up 'pomodoro'. That's nothing to do with Agile... sounds like you had management who really liked bolting together buzzwords.

@ErrolTheDragon We did - Overall it was supposed to be agile, but I think every time people were getting a bit bored they would find a new buzzword. It wasn't a huge success, although there was a lot of bonding over the sheer pointlessness of some of it.

I’m not sure detail does granulate at smaller scales. It’s a misleading metaphor.

100% this. I was involved in a transaction (I'm a lawyer) where the client had also engaged advisors. Always thought what benefit do they add other than just additional bills for the client. Confirmed when they kept insisting we had weekly calls even before we had received first drafts of the agreements from the other side so there was literally nothing to discuss yet for two weeks running, and I used to sit there thinking well my time plus the partner's time plus the advisors' time - this is racking up pointless fees for the client. Quite a junior guy at the advisors would run this call and I used to think what is it about cocky young men who not only have literally nothing to talk about but are also too junior to really know anything yet, how can you so confidently sit there for an hour a time spouting such corporate bollocks.

ErrolTheDragon

I had to look up 'pomodoro'.

It's Italian (and via there, Russian) for tomato. What does it mean in management wankspeak?

It’s a time management technique.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomodoro_Technique

I use pomodoros! Literally never said it out loud though strictly a personal technique.

TheYummyPatler

Thank you.

Lol at the comment on pretending to be sailors re all hands calls.
Fireside chats is the one which makes me utterly utterly boak.

Yes, but I've worked at a large US organisation where they sometimes called town halls fireside chats. It was still the big cheese addressing the global organisation so there was nothing remotely insider about the info he was imparting to every man woman and her dog. Mind you they did also sometimes call these a state of the nation like he was the goddam US president too.

Exactly, a pomodoro as a personal technque works really well - basically setting an egg-timer to work on a task for twenty minutes.

Oh I love a good pomodoro! But, like you say, only for personal use! Wouldn’t dream of saying this out loud in my org… not only would I get funny looks from my team but I’m quite sure the senior management team would latch onto it and kill it with overuse, just as they did with the word ‘agile’ and ‘sprint planning’… when we do anything but.

You’re an estate agent? 😂🤣

'let me loop you back in' - pls ffs no! Leave me alone
'strategise' used as a verb when talking about tactics
'townhalls' 🤢

@MzHz

No recruitment 🤣

Ahh.. my second guess! :D

I prefer Arrabiata or a good Puttanesca myself...

(yes, I know, but seriously? Can I book an Alla Norma with no calls or emails for the duration?)