to be utterly sick of this maddeningly nonsensical bit of corporate wankspeak?

[MossyOilTank]

What is with the phrase "the piece" ... for example, "it's the piece around engagement with stakeholders" ... "the piece on communicating key messages" ... "the piece about maximizing outputs". IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.

CArbon me in?
oh ridiculous!

I’m still not entirely sure what a “town hall” or “fireside chat” actually is. Or whether there’s meant to be any discernible difference between the two.

I work with a gentleman who has recently begun to "...socialise the conversation...".

The tent one is terrible! I assumed PP was talking about some sort of corporate training thing, we did one where we had to erect a tent with most of the team blindfolded. Apparently it was meant to improve our communication skills.

Er, no. It means are they in the know, on the insider list.

Some people on here really need to chill out. Try working in the US for a while then report back on what annoys you.

Oh god, I've heard the kimono one. I just laughed, wouldn't hide it.
And every speaker at a conference now seems to be a fireside chat.

What about meetings becoming bilaterals?

@Whatnextarghhhhhh
it is meant to be light hearted? surely?
i am not sure why people need to chill out

Town Hall = an All-Hands = meeting for every man / woman and their dog.

Fireside chat = a meeting where you're trying to extract some information from your Senior Exec so you snchmooooze up to them with coffee and a Krispie Kreme Donut box

Open the kimono

😆 wtaf, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard

@FluffyYucca my recent experience of a fireside chat is even someone comes to give a talk having done minimal prep, no slides and basically make it up as they go along (but speaking on a topic they know).

we have lots of workstreams. It amuses me in meetings when someone starts speaking on a topic the chair clearly doesn’t want to cover in front of the specific people in the meeting and jumps in to say “that’s a really interesting point. Let’s explore that offline!” While looking daggers at the person who raised it. Yes Paul, I’m looking at you!

@AgentProvocateur Hahaha haven't heard that one before! What does it mean? It's so ridiculous I'm almost tempted to use it.

Try working in the US for a while then report back on what annoys you.

I do, virtually , the rest of my team is in California.
It's not too bad because terms tend to get used correctly or in a pisstaking way.

‘Levelling up’ - eh ??

Don't boil the ocean, whatever you do.

I am definitely brainwashed as most of this stuff goes over my head it's so much part of the culture where I work.

As soon as I'm home I snap into home-mode but occasionally I share the latest buzzword with DH and we have a laugh about it.

'Stand down' a meeting anyone? What's wrong with cancel and reschedule?

I haven't seen it yet, thankfully. But it can go in the bin with "reach out" (for which say "contact") and "going forward" (for which say "in future").

Let’s consider the cadence of this thread.

It’s all meaningless shite.

Fucking Deep Dives.

Three hour witterings meetings (OK, that corresponds with the time it takes to descend to 11,000 metres below sea level) where nobody seems to appreciate that on a Deep Dive, you can't see shit after the first 29 minutes - until a giant fuck-off scary sea monster appears in your headlights and proceeds to eat one of the crew committee or takes a chunk off the side of the submersible so you're trapped together in the dark as rivets ping and the cold, cold water starts coming in.

Looks like I'm not alone!

I get that agile and sprint area project management terms. But nobody yet has come up with a specific meaning for "the piece" except that someone who uses it is shortening "piece of work". The thing is, it's not always used to describe a piece of work. I got an email last night where it was describing a risk ... "it's the piece about that market collapsing". For the love of gawd use the words, the actual words, for what you are trying to say 😑

My dh would strongly disagree about ‘due diligence’! Part of his job was going over contracts for major engineering jobs with a microscope.

@Llamadrama2 suggest sticking his head up his arse !

But assets doesn’t just mean images, it’s a term used for multiple formats.

You being ignorant makes me die inside

Opening the kimono is racist af too. Implication is that 'the East' is all mysterious and mystical and only our clever western minds can unwrap all that complexity. Barf.

Our execs have “wash up meetings”. I’m not entirely sure what it actually means but occasionally things I’ve raised with my director get taken to wash up… I’m pretty sure it’s just a catch up meeting.

The trouble is that it's become shorthand for 'When Richard waffles a bit and we choose to hear what we want to hear, rather than ask Mary in Admin who will take one look at what we've signed up to as she's found it on the printer and point out that the first five paragraphs mean we're now comprehensively fucked'.