Comments from friends' husbands?

[Icanseeitinyoureyes]

Went out for a meal with a group of friends, one's husband joined after an hour. He ended up sitting next to me and he said to me, "You look really good." I later told another friend and she said "Does he fancy you."
Just being nice or inappropriate?

A couple of years ago I had a big change of hairstyle. Put it on social media and a different friend's partner (who I'm not even friends with it all) commented, "Wow, new hair, definitely a good decision.!"

Coming from females they would be entirely normal comments, but friend's partners who I hardly know, not sure?

Lastly, it is widely accepted that it is never ok for a man to comment on a woman's physical appearance. EVER. 'Compliment' or not.

No it isn't???? I feel like I'm on another planet.

I'm with you OP, in that I think a comment like that is unnecessary and inappropriate. I wouldn't expect any of my friend's husbands to say "you look really good" to me, and I wouldn't be impressed if my husband said that to one of my friends either.

Lastly, it is widely accepted that it is never ok for a man to comment on a woman's physical appearance. EVER. 'Compliment' or not.
Can we discuss this @JennyNotFromTheBlock

Because I just don’t agree. Even though I agree more with what you’ve written in this thread than not.

Where did you learn this, for starters? (Always interested when someone said something is widely accepted.)

I think you are....

You all have such sad lives. I'm so sorry. I actually like people in my circle, say nice things to them to make them feel good, and its reciprocated. It's really nice, you should give it a go. The world isn't as scary as you want it to be.

Where did I learn this? Social etiquette. Feminism. Sexual abuse advocates. Common sense.

It's not a fact!

Genuine question then. Is it OK for a woman to comment on a man's appearance then or are all inter-sex compliments off limits in your eyes?

Yes, it is a fact!

Ok it sounds like you have quite a few complex issues and possibly traumatic experiences so I will leave you alone. Most men are lovely, and can be great trusted friends, just like women can. I recommend you seek some help.

Normal. The fact you told your friend makes it sound like you wanted a gossip?

Do you really not understand that there is a power differential in comments on physical appearance made by men, versus women? Does this honestly need to be explained? Seriously? Have a read of www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4673471-whats-the-most-wildly-inappropriate-thing-to-ever-happen-to-you?latest=1 and then you'll understand why men making comments on womens physiques have a completely different meaning than women commenting on men.

Ok so now it’s near whispering, not Actuallh]y whispering, which I am assuming you know full well had a different connotation completely

OP, do you have a partner (male or female)? Or any male friends?

I'm so intrigued! @JennyNotFromTheBlock... Is it OK for a woman to comment on a man's appearance? For a woman to comment on another woman's appearance? Can a man notice a female friend's haircut and mention it suits them? This 'widely accepted' claim is clearly challenged by the fact that nobody thus far on this thread seems to have heard of it...

Op, if the man said it quietly and intimately to you when nobody could hear, it perhaps is crossing a boundary, yes.

No, it's not normal for a man to comment on a woman's physical appearance, @Jalepenojello . And please stop gaslighting and victim-blaming a woman who felt uncomfortable so confided in a friend.

I think you are reading way too much into an innocent compliment. Not every man who says something flattering to a woman is trying to get in her knickers. Some men are just charming to everyone, regardless of whether they are man, woman, child or dog.

why are you hanging around a womans forum??? is that sexist thing to say?

P. S. @JennyNotFromTheBlock. Please stop throwing insults at the women on this thread. You are not helping 'the cause' in doing so.

I posted on that thread under a different name. The fact that you are equating what happened to a lot of us with a man telling her - in front of a group of people - that she looked nice, and another man going "Wow, new hair, definitely a good decision.!" to her on social media is extremely offensive.

I agree that you need help.