Comments from friends' husbands?

[Icanseeitinyoureyes]

Went out for a meal with a group of friends, one's husband joined after an hour. He ended up sitting next to me and he said to me, "You look really good." I later told another friend and she said "Does he fancy you."
Just being nice or inappropriate?

A couple of years ago I had a big change of hairstyle. Put it on social media and a different friend's partner (who I'm not even friends with it all) commented, "Wow, new hair, definitely a good decision.!"

Coming from females they would be entirely normal comments, but friend's partners who I hardly know, not sure?

What is this magic haircut that has people unable to contain themselves? That's what I want to know.

Right. But you said you are “sure” this one wasn’t. How are you sure?

My DH would absolutely tell a female friend, mutual or not that she looks great. He'd simply see it stating the obvious, making someone feel good and he'd move on. I'll add he'd also (and does) do the same with his and our male friends.

I tell my girlfriends all the time how good they look, and male friends. I'm utterly in love with my DH, there is nothing untoward in my compliment, it's just that, a compliment

I'd be fairly certain when the salacious texting started.

Yes it is, because he whispered it, instead of speaking at a normal tone that his wife could hear. To suggest that it's only sus if he assaulted her is absolutely ridiculous minimisation.

Op, what’s happening here. Do you have a boyfriend, habe you ever had a boyfriend? You appear to be searching to see if anyone ever fancied you. Like your boss or your friends husbands.

But would he whisper it to the female friend, so you wouldn't hear? Or would he speak normally?

That's the difference.

Lol, saying it quietly is not whispering it. You make it sound sleazy like he was whispering in her ear and stroking her neck 😂

What a shame that a man can't pay a woman a compliment without being seen as perving.

So you're saying in order for a comment to not be considered harassment or to make a woman uncomfortable, it can't just be a stand alone comment, a wolf whistle, etc, they need to text as well? Only then is it inappropriate, in your eyes? Words fail me....

Lol, the OP said he said it "very quietly". Very quietly to most people, is near whisper. 😂😂

Why is it a shame?

(not that I agree this is the conclusion here)

You appear to be searching to see if anyone ever fancied you.

Your victim-blaming is absolutely disgusting and says everything about you and nothing about the OP.

But we're not talking about a wolf-whistle (a different topic altogether), we're not talking about a stranger. We're talking about a friend they have met before paying a non-sexual compliment. The OP is entitled to feel however she likes about it but that doesn't make it harassment or inappropriate.

I recently wore a lovely dress to a works ball, I received plenty of compliments. I think it's fine. On the other hand, DP is rather more reserved now he's in a relationship with me. My boundaries are quite open, he thinks compliments have to be reigned in so as not to give the wrong signal or offend anyone.

What a shame that you like gaslighting women and saying we don't have a right to feel uncomfortable when a man whispers about our looks. It's never ok for a man to comment on a woman's physical appearance. Compliment or insult.

It is never ok for a man to comment on a woman's physical appearance. NEVER. Be that a wolf whistle or "whispering" a 'compliment'. NEVER.

Gosh those are perfectly kind, polite comments. Nothing flirty or sexual at all, just genuine compliments.

God you must be MISERABLE! These are friends and the comments are very 'safe' nice things to say.

You are so incredibly naive. No man should ever comment on a woman's physical appearance. What is it that you don't understand about that?

Jesus Christ. Again, you are miserable. I understand what you are saying, it's just a shit opinion to have.

I think "You look good" is a little personal and could imply sexual attraction- I would say it to a close female friend but not an opposite sex male acquaintance/partner of friend. I would say "You look smart" or comment on a hair do or clothing.

God you are so gullible and naive. She met the man twice. And if he were genuine he wouldn't have whispered so his wife didn't hear.

Lastly, it is widely accepted that it is never ok for a man to comment on a woman's physical appearance. EVER. 'Compliment' or not.

Er .... everything?

You are talking as if men constitute some kind of alien species, which women should keep themselves in conversational purdah from.

My wife's having her hair cut and coloured later. I'll be sure to remember your advice to 'NEVER compliment a woman' when she gets home. I'll report back (from my mates sofa) to let you know how that goes!

(yes, yes...it's a joke but a ridiculous comment deserves a ridiculous response!)