To expect this school mum to have paid by now?

[Lewiscapaldiscat]

I sold some of my ds toys to a fellow school mum I know quite well. Not an insignificant amount of money and it belongs to my ds.

she asked for my bank details which I sent, on the day she said she forgot her card reader, would cash be ok, said yes, then she said she’d transfer. All fine. took them to school for her and I haven’t received anything.

i messaged yesterday saying all ok - she replied yes excellent - child is already playing with them and loving them.
I replied great - do you need me to resend my bank details and no response! we agreed the price and confirmed how to pay so no misunderstanding. They are well to do / but little irrelevant since she agreed to pay for them.

im really irritated she could reply saying oh loving them - but not pay or even mention payment - such as oh sorry I forgot or I’ll get it to you now. Nothing - I won’t be able to look at her the same and obviously will chase again for the money but aibu to be so infuriated by this cf behaviour???

I don’t really get why a few more days though - you have the stuff pay up?
she has the stuff now I feel awkward! I think of mumsnet and this is how cfs operate.
saying that I appreciate some people are more relaxed than me.
if it had been a week or two you ain’t ever seeing that money!

I hope you've messaged her telling her that you need the money today or she will have to return the toys. Don't leave it much longer as the child will just end up more attached to the toys. She wouldn't walk into asda with no money and remove goods from the store and they definitely wouldn't give it a week or two for payment either 🤣

Transfers arrive in seconds.

Meh, it's barely been one day. I'd chase her midweek if nothing received.

I’m currently waiting for a transfer made on the 1st (Saturday) to show in my account - I;m expecting it first thing Monday morning. I’d give it till mid morning Monday then remind again.

I find it so strange that people get so outraged and assume someone is scamming them if they take more than a day to do a bank transfer.

If it's a large amount and I know it's important to the person, I will try and do it asap but a tenner for a toy, I don't think of it as an issue if it takes me a few days. Maybe everyone else is just mega organised but sometimes I just forget - it's not sinister - does no one else just lose track and forget to do something?!

if she is well off she probably doesn’t see it as a priority.

Op sometimes I've sent money by bank transfer on a Friday, and expected the money to be there the same day and it hasn't arrived with the other account until Monday morning

Don't message her, call her (put 141 in front of her number to withold your number so that she can't avoid answering to you) and just say you haven't received payment, so if she isn't going to pay you will need the toys back because you have another buyer who will pay for them...

Also never give anybody anything you are selling, ...always give it when they hand over the money....It saves a lot of stress

Definitely give it another couple of days. Since she got them on Friday I would remind her on Tuesday if she hasn't paid.

Please at least give it until tomorrow!

It’s not a tenner. But the principle is the same.

if she had transferred it - why wouldn’t you say that when I asked yesterday?

it’s interesting to see the split in opinion - leave until next week you tight arse vs burn her house down! 🤣

Give it another day. My bank is awful at processing transfers.

‘Hi friend, can you send me over that morning this morning as DS is looking forward to buying some new toys today! Here are my details again …..Cheers!’

I thought it was weeks! I’d send a message in a few more days, along the lines of:
Hi Sarah, glad Ava likes the toys, the money hasn’t been transferred. Could you do that today please? Ben is nagging me for the Transformer this is funding. Thanks, see you soon 😊

I think you need to listen to your DH. Give her until Monday/Tuesday then message again. The way you're talking I'd expect you to have waited a week already!

Maybe if it was only on Friday, she’s planning on giving you the money in cash at drop off/pick up on Monday?

I agree, she could have done the transfer straight away in minutes on the banking app on her phone and you would have got the money instantly or she could have paid by Paypal Friends & Family.

I would message her and tell her you need the money today as DC wants to go to Argos to buy X new toy with his money. She can go to the cash point on her way to your house. Offer to go to hers to get the money if she says she can't.

Next time don't hand over the items until you get the money. If someone makes an excuse why they don't have any money just say you'll hold onto the item until they do.

Transfers rarely show up instantly in my bank. I would wait until Tuesday morning to contact her. Give it Monday to clear your account. If there is nothing on Tuesday, then tell her either she needs to pay now or you will fetch the toys back to sell on ebay.

Send this.

Like you said you aren’t a credit account.

You gave it her Friday and it's early Sunday..
Friday you can write off if she got home from the school run and had kids to feed etc. Saturday they could have had all day plans like a wedding or DIY. Give her a little more time. Maybe text her Monday.

If give it to about 2pm tomorrow (Monday) and then text saying can you transfer the money by the end of the day?

Resend your bank details with “my DS would like the money for his toys as he has his eye on something else he wants” so she knows she is basically denying a child their pocket money and hopefully that’ll chivvy her along! She is so rude.

I was totally on your side until I saw the timescales. I think you're being too impatient, sorry. Give it a few more days.

It’s the fact she replied to the initial message saying her kid was loving the toys but then blanket silence at the mention of money. If she hasn’t got around to it then she’d reply and apologise saying she’ll do it soon. To be honest if she’s got the time to respond to a message she has the time to transfer the money.

She said she would send it Friday eve (after initially saying in advance, then cash then back to transfer) and messaged to say her child was enjoying playing with them on Saturday - so no all day wedding.
she has probably just forgotten. I will politely remind her.