Page 11 | To expect this school mum to have paid by now?

Libertinex · 03/10/2022 20:50

Wow. She collected the toys on Friday and it's only Monday? How embarrassing chasing like that... several times too. I'd die.

spongedog · 03/10/2022 21:06

Pleased you have been paid. You've read some interesting stories on here so have some ideas for next time how to deal with it [always cash on collection!]

My mum has just got a card reader but she is 87 and wont use a mobile phone for 2fa. A bit unusual for someone younger to use a card reader.

surreygirl1987 · 03/10/2022 21:34

I find it really odd that you chased her like that. I'd have sent a reminder after maybe a week or so. But I'm glad you got paid.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 03/10/2022 21:37

People have different boundaries of urgency - for me Friday wouldn’t be that long, it’s only Tuesday. If she’s busy and has only remembers at a moment that she can’t access a laptop - the time flies by. Personally I think it’s a little early to be annoyed.

CoastalWave · 03/10/2022 21:41

Trixielo · 03/10/2022 18:30

If I sold something I would have no trouble waiting for a few days to be paid for it. I would be embarrassed to chase. I’ve been chased before by a good friend after buying something from her. It was a small amount and I felt really humiliated and cross to be honest. I wouldn’t buy anything from her anymore.

She should never have had to chase you. I'm embarrassed for you.

If you buy something - you pay immediately.

You wouldn't walk out of the hairdressers without paying? What's the difference? Actually, in some respects, makes it worse that people think there's no problem keeping friends waiting for money.

So many people on this thread need to acquire moral standards.

anon666 · 03/10/2022 23:02

If she's well off, the chances are she's not familiar with money transfers being urgent.

Me and my siblings often do shared presents and we transfer cash between ourselves sometimes it's months and we need reminding.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/10/2022 23:09

So many people thinking it's OK to keep their friend waiting....why?

If I am selling stuff its because I need the money. Just because you can go a week or two without £70 doesnt mean that I can! And, as the OP has found, some people are CF's and just wont pay until they have to, if at all, so she could be down £70 worth of toys and the money. As for the PP who said "I would just let it go" then why sell at all? Donate to a charity shop if you can afford to wave goodbye to money.

Some of us are on the bones of our arses. DD sold her Happyland collection for a large amount of money (a fraction of what it cost) as she was 11 and wanted a phone that I couldnt afford. Should I have just "let it go" and given her the money myself, that I didnt have?

The last year really has highlighted the differences on MN

WTAFhappened123 · 03/10/2022 23:38

Give an inch with some people… total CF in my opinion! If no money in bank by end of day today text her - the cheek of some people!

Cariadm · 04/10/2022 02:53

I do think you need to chill a little, give her a few days?! Coming at this from another angle...you say she seems 'comfortably off' and maybe she has a very relaxed attitude to money and if she were the seller maybe she wouldn't be so bothered about getting immediate payment and possibly it has not occurred to her that this is what you expected?! I may be way off the mark but I don't honestly think you need to be quite so stressed after just a couple of days, if she hasn't paid after a week you will then be absolutely justified in giving her a robust reminder without feeling bad about it, just ask her if she has forgotten, we British are far too embarrassed about money matters!!

LoisLane66 · 04/10/2022 07:19

@Heyisforhorses
Banks faster payments, which is what we all normally use, are sent within the following 2 hours not a few days. It matters not whether banks are open or closed. It's automatic. Machines don't have bank holidays or weekends off.

FivePotatoesHigh · 04/10/2022 07:23

Trixielo · 03/10/2022 18:30

If I sold something I would have no trouble waiting for a few days to be paid for it. I would be embarrassed to chase. I’ve been chased before by a good friend after buying something from her. It was a small amount and I felt really humiliated and cross to be honest. I wouldn’t buy anything from her anymore.

Whereas I would be embarrassed if I didn’t pay up immediately.

i wouldn’t have handed the toys over before payment

T1Dmama · 04/10/2022 07:44

YANBU - how awkward for you.
Check your bank if she hasn’t paid by lunch today text her again and say ‘Is it possible to pay today please? Here are my account details encase you’ve lost them’

cannockcandy · 04/10/2022 11:20

Like others here I was with you until you said it was only this past Friday you gave her the toys. If you needed the money immediately you should have expressed that to her.
Although I do agree with your point about it being your sons money, that's the rule in this house too. If we sell furniture from his room then the money is ours to buy new stuff. But toys are his and his alone so the money goes to him.

gamerchick · 04/10/2022 11:39

At least read the OPs posts

vickylou78 · 04/10/2022 12:23

Blimey op I think you are really impatient. If I'd sold to complete stranger I'd expect immediate payment but from a friend I'd just let them do it when convenient. It's odd your getting so upset after 48hrs! Are you so desperate for the money?

Zonder · 04/10/2022 13:58

vickylou78 · 04/10/2022 12:23

Blimey op I think you are really impatient. If I'd sold to complete stranger I'd expect immediate payment but from a friend I'd just let them do it when convenient. It's odd your getting so upset after 48hrs! Are you so desperate for the money?

As many pps have said, would you expect Sainsbury's to let you pay in a few days when you feel like it?

Cariadm · 05/10/2022 15:42

Well said and I quite agree...get a life!!!

saleorbouy · 05/10/2022 21:14

Dear XX
I was wondering if you are intending to keep the toys you agreed to pay £xx for. (Son's name) let me sell the toys on the understanding he would receive the proceeds. He is hoping to go to the shops this weekend to buy some new toys so if you could forward £Xx to my account (add details) by tomorrow that would be fantastic.
Many thanks,
Lewis...

HKM2B · 06/10/2022 01:09

Lewiscapaldiscat · 02/10/2022 07:55

I sold some of my ds toys to a fellow school mum I know quite well. Not an insignificant amount of money and it belongs to my ds.

she asked for my bank details which I sent, on the day she said she forgot her card reader, would cash be ok, said yes, then she said she’d transfer. All fine. took them to school for her and I haven’t received anything.

i messaged yesterday saying all ok - she replied yes excellent - child is already playing with them and loving them.
I replied great - do you need me to resend my bank details and no response! we agreed the price and confirmed how to pay so no misunderstanding. They are well to do / but little irrelevant since she agreed to pay for them.

im really irritated she could reply saying oh loving them - but not pay or even mention payment - such as oh sorry I forgot or I’ll get it to you now. Nothing - I won’t be able to look at her the same and obviously will chase again for the money but aibu to be so infuriated by this cf behaviour???

YABU

HKM2B · 06/10/2022 01:13

Tomorrowisalatterday · 02/10/2022 08:26

I find it so strange that people get so outraged and assume someone is scamming them if they take more than a day to do a bank transfer.

If it's a large amount and I know it's important to the person, I will try and do it asap but a tenner for a toy, I don't think of it as an issue if it takes me a few days. Maybe everyone else is just mega organised but sometimes I just forget - it's not sinister - does no one else just lose track and forget to do something?!

THIS absolutely! How wonderful to be so organised and have so little think about in life to be on top of things like this all the time. If the lack of payment meant you weren't able to feed your family then fair enough for being angry. But for some second hand toys and the sake of a few days - goodness me, chill out OP!

HKM2B · 06/10/2022 01:30

Zonder · 02/10/2022 09:39

This is BS. Depending on the transfer, it can take until the end of the day to show up or even up to 3 working days. Most are straight away but not always.

What bank are you with? So many times I've been sitting with friends and one has paid a bill then we split it and pay them our share. We send the money and they get the notifications within minutes. Same when I pay for extracurricular lessons for my kids. Lots of different banks. All arrive within moments.

I work in banking. Not all banks are connected directly to the payments infrastructures and not all banks make this instantaneous. Some banks make it look like that but in truth can claw back funds. Not all banks really are instantaneous (actually very few are!) but the perception to the public is it is. The poster you quoted is 100% right. Some payments can indeed take three days. It's fine to which payment scheme participants in the money chain are linked to. There's sometimes many more layers than Joe Bloggs on the Street realises...

Zonder · 06/10/2022 04:42

Not all banks really are instantaneous (actually very few are!) but the perception to the public is it is.

What does this mean? If course the perception to the public is that it's instantaneous when you know, I send money to a friend and they get a notification within seconds that the money is in their account. I'd say that's more than a perception 😆

Anyway clearly the woman's bank worked like mine since once she decided to send the money it came straight away.

And surely everyone knows that £70 is quite a lot of money to lots of people?