To expect this school mum to have paid by now?

[Lewiscapaldiscat]

I sold some of my ds toys to a fellow school mum I know quite well. Not an insignificant amount of money and it belongs to my ds.

she asked for my bank details which I sent, on the day she said she forgot her card reader, would cash be ok, said yes, then she said she’d transfer. All fine. took them to school for her and I haven’t received anything.

i messaged yesterday saying all ok - she replied yes excellent - child is already playing with them and loving them.
I replied great - do you need me to resend my bank details and no response! we agreed the price and confirmed how to pay so no misunderstanding. They are well to do / but little irrelevant since she agreed to pay for them.

im really irritated she could reply saying oh loving them - but not pay or even mention payment - such as oh sorry I forgot or I’ll get it to you now. Nothing - I won’t be able to look at her the same and obviously will chase again for the money but aibu to be so infuriated by this cf behaviour???

So, you have had a lot of good advice, people even typing out full texts you can copy and paste!

What have you done about it today @Lewiscapaldiscat ?

I think the fact she is well to do is relevant. In my experience wealthy people don’t see the urgency in situations like this because relatively small amounts of money aren’t as important to them.

In her head she’ll get to it ‘soon’ as it’s not a big deal to her. In her head she’s honourable and will pay you back when she gets round to it.

If you chase you may be seen as ‘pushy’ or ‘desperate’. I’m not saying this is how I think but having dealt with flaky rich people, this behaviour isn’t uncommon. Once she pays you back make a mental note not to get involved with her financially again.

Read the thread and you’ll have seen what I did

I guess you still haven't been paid. I'm angry for you. Totally out of order. It's really stressful for you.

This ⬆Please pay x amount as agreed for children's toys. Ac number is xxxxxxx. I will send you a confirmation when payment has been received. Many thanks.

It's easy to forget when juggeling. Let's hope it's an honest slip.

How selfish not putting your mind at rest but can you NOT PHONE her then you hopefully would get an instant reply which she can't ignore withhold your number before you ring.

OP, relax. I'm sure she'll pay. She could have had anything going on.

Sorry, but I wouldn't have handed the items over in the first place without payment there and then. So many people out to scam or be CFs these days. She's probably holding out until you get fed up of asking.

Sorry if that sounds harsh

Any update OP?

I completely agree, I don't know if it's just different over there but We don't wait if you purchase something from a person, the money is usually expected straight away!
I'm sorry thos has happened to you and I really hope she pays. it's a shitty feeling having to chase something that's yours

Hope she's paid now, but I made a bank transfer over the weekend and it's only just gone through this morning, which is unusual. So it's possibly just delayed?

Did she pay?

Thank you everyone for all the advice! Interesting takes on it!

she did indeed pay today with a sorry I forgot the card reader! I sent a very nice message Sunday asking her to pay - so no awkwardness now it’s been paid.

as pp say - valuable lesson in no money no goods as not all these type of stories have a positive outcome!

this obligation to pay immediately is a bit in some people’s head only, not in others’ it seems; you may well have looked a bit desperate, just saying…

I would just forget about it

I literally hate when people do this , I had it recently and had to chase . Pisses me off - I think it’s the principal that I shouldn’t have to chase.

I would message again , she’s got no shame In not paying so I would have no shame in asking again , but quite bluntly no niceties.

Sorry just read your update

Thanks for the update OP, all's well that ends well and a useful lesson for the future.

I don't know where people are getting that it takes days, especially at a weekend, for money to transfer. I have transferred money to friends and family on any day, including Sunday and it has gone into their account instantly. The only time I have experienced a delay, is when it's a business doing the transfer to me. I definitely don't think you're being unreasonable, everytime I have sold something to someone I know, I have either had to chase them up for weeks or not received the money at all. Now I don't sell anything to anyone, apart from close family. I would remind her that it's your child's money and stress that it is for something special, and that you're getting moaned at for the money.

If I sold something I would have no trouble waiting for a few days to be paid for it. I would be embarrassed to chase. I’ve been chased before by a good friend after buying something from her. It was a small amount and I felt really humiliated and cross to be honest. I wouldn’t buy anything from her anymore.

Different personalities. Some are more laid back than others but really if someone buys something they should pay immediately it is that simple

What a silly thread

🙄

I’d message with bank details, the amount you need paying again then add that if there is an issue with her paying she needs let you know. Everyone is struggling right now but at the start of the month you’d assume she or her partner have just been paid so would have the money to pay for the items.
Going forward no cash no items, even for people you know.

Wow! Some people here are so uptight. I would always give people at least a few days to pay me for anything. I wouldn’t consider it an issue if I paid/ was paid a few days later. It was the weekend and she paid Monday! I would be wary about being friends with someone who was bitter and complaining about me before even giving me a chance to do the right thing. Ridiculous getting so uptight when she had promised to pay you and did so a couple of days later.

I don't understand the people saying they wouldn't mind waiting a few days for the money! If you buy something from a shop you pay there and then, ditto with most online transactions. Why is this any different? Glad you got your money OP, £70 is not to be sniffed at!

If you buy something from a shop you pay there and then, ditto with most online transactions. Why is this any different?

It's different because it's not a shop! The money is not needed as part of the business cash flow processes - no suppliers to pay, no salaries to pay, no utilities or rents to pay. I'm so surprised at the responses on this thread saying you should pay a friend straight away for something like this. 3 days or so is fine between friends/acquaintances in my opinion, for non-commercial transactions, when you'll know you'll be seeing them again in a couple of days, and if that timescale isn't fine then you really should explain to the person when they offer to buy it that you will need the money immediately for X, Y and Z.

But then again I'm of a generation which just passed things onto friends and neighbours who needed them, and they did the same. When I first started seeing people selling their old stuff to their own friends, over Facebook etc, I was actually quite taken aback.